Posted by Goldendevil21 1 year ago Report

Thanks so much for a new chapter. Wish I got to edit a little but this is your story. Here are my thoughts.
First, do enjoy the dream sequence to set Naruto’s emotional state. Here, he is so happy with his harem. Yet still feels a bit of bitterness about Sakura even though he admits himself that what he feels is irrational. He has a harem of sluts at his beck and call. He is on a sanctioned mission to get his (not) boyfriend back. Yet a part of him is still that emotional child. Great little flaw.
Do question why Naruto is scared of Sakra’s strength. Her hits never do lasting damage. In the show, they seem comedic instead of attacks that do real damage.
Did love the part Naruto compared the nice dinner he got from captain Yamato to Kurama’s milk. A nice little detail.
And did like captain Yamato’s personality. Showing up early to Naruto to make sure he is on time because he actually took the time to read the knuckle head’s profile. Yet also a bit of a closet pervert.
Also loved the entire reaction to Sai’s artbook. Don’t know why Danzo wants his agents to carry something so emotional with them but is still good. Here, we see Naruto being Naruto. Stating the obvious regardless of social cues. Calling out Sai’s art as beautiful but lacking a soul. Sakura immediately wanting to punch Naruto for being so callous. And while I did not find Sai’s line of “Kind of like what is between your legs, eh?” To be all that good of a jab, was still good to see the two males throw some metaphorical fists at each other. Not climbing a mountain but taking the first step on the trail.

Also loved the conversation between Sakura and Naruto. How Naruto immediately thinks she is going to start throwing punches (that do nothing) yet instead is more mature. Wishing to really talk about the situation like adults. How Naruto feels very little in this situation despite what he always wanted when he was younger was to cuddle with Sakura. Then how Sakura breaks down crying as she thinks about what is going to happen to Sasuke.

Wanted this to be its own paragraph, love how you made Sakura book smart. Rather than just cry about her problems, she was active. She researched the Uchina clan of Sasuke. She read the rules and regulations of the clan and leaf. Even admitting to Naruto that she might have committed treason that she read the reports about how the second Hokage hated the Uchiha. This even leads to a great payoff as she fully understand what will happen if they bring back Sasuke alive. He will likely spend the rest of his life in prison, showing her contrast to Naruto who though stupidly that they were all just going to magically get back together. Even thinking the future events forward that if they do capture Sasuke, Sakura would be fine still having a child with him and knowing the burden that would carry. The heart loves what the heart loves.

Now, I loved the sex scene between Kurama and Naruto. For one, was great to see Kurama recognize her bond mates frustration at the mission. Frustrated at Sai. Frustrated at Sasuke. So, was great to see her be the one to do all the work milking those prized balls. And just like Naruto, love the description of how he literally fills up his harem’s bellies with all that spunk, “five months pregnant with twins.”

And did enjoy Kurama saying how this was hard to do with their clones all the way back in Kohona. Forcing her to split her conscious so far apart. The problem I have is this is told to me. The story is telling me controlling so many clones across a vast distance is hard. Yet did not see that in the sex scene. With Kurama’s lips being half robotic in their movements. Or her eyes would sometimes glaze over. Need to see the characters attempt something and fail.

And did like Naruto’s line of, “Wait, Kabuto…is their anyone the guy hasn’t betrayed.” What a great line. Now that I think about it, yeah, he does feel like the ninja who betrayed everyone.

And this is going to sound strange but having Hinata all the way back in Kohona with a full belly diminishes any feeling of separation from Naruto and Hinata. There is a clone of Naruto for her to fulfill every desire she wants. What can the real Naruto do that a blood clone can’t do?