Wow...it has been a while. Time for an update, perahaps?

For whatever reason - the X, friends, Smash, work, family - I wasn't feeling up to vore, so I decided it was high time for a breaky-poo. Well I've had my breaky-poo (been twelve weeks at least), but the vore has not come back to me. It's still what I think of as a sexually arrousing situation, but I just can't seem to find my arrousing kink when it comes to RPing. =/ So yeah, I've been in a bit of a sexual slump ever since the loss of that girlfriend I was messed up about all those months ago.

I've made a Brawl combo video! It was pretty intense, and I still cannot get over the personal satisfaction gained from finishing it. Unfortunately my recorder broke shortly afterwards, along with my hopes of...
[ Continued ... ]

Relieved is exactly what I'm feeling. I've finally got the constant thoughts of the X out of my head and my life is no longer as stagnant as it used to be. Now I actually go out and hang with friends, I've been working quite a bit more lately and doing much more productive work than I've been capable of for the last six months (which feels awesome). I work a construction job, and even in the 30's outside it feels better to be up and out of my room.

I do have one objecton though. People always say that you need to go hang with people to feel better. You need to go get excercize to lift your mood. I find the reverse to be true. When I'm feeling better is when I feel like doing those things, and I physically cannot bring myself to do those things while I'm upset. But...
[ Continued ... ]

Live's been rather meh recently. I've been coping with failing classes and missing the X, my friend's sad about hurting his girlfriend but he wants to call it quits with her, another friend who's girlfriend may be cheating on him...the usual junk.

Got a speeding ticket yesterday next to my local pizza place, that's new. I was so caught up in being sad, the song on the radio, my calculus exam that day, and because I couldn't concentrate on the road I was concentrating on the tail light in front of me. Yeah, that's something I do. I pick one break light of a car and just follow that break light--keeps me on the road, lets me know if I need to slow down, and it takes little thought which is good otherwise, with how distracted I am these days, I wouldn't be able to drive...
[ Continued ... ]

OK so there's 6 phases to the grieving process: Denial, Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.

When my cat, Feona, died two and a half years ago, it took me a full year (longer than she was alive for) to get over her. Extreme sadness took one day to set in; then came a period of almost two months where I isolated myself; a week or so followed where I wanted to kill my neighbor's (who ran over the cat) pet so that they could feel what it was like; then I started thinking of all the things I would have given up to have my life back to normal; after that I used to think about my own death every single day and I felt guilty being happy. Finally, after a year and two months, I cried for the last time over her and never again. It took me that long to go between...
[ Continued ... ]

Sub-par grammar follows, absolutely nothing of any significance, probably a waste of your time to read. Just'a jottin' down my thoughts is all.

Sleep habits are so difficult to maintain. Came home today, took a four hour 'nap', then stayed up all night procrastinating when I should have been finishing a late english essay. My life's been distracting me lately so at this point, as long as I get a passing grade in the class (D or better) I could care less about my GPA (was 3.85 before this semester -waves goodbye-). So I've been up all night foruming and not working.

Good news is that I did get my paper done (it's due in under two hours of when I'm typing this). W00t. -waggles finger-

So I've ascended to a new state of being...that's pretty cool...right? You could say that, but I wouldn't be convinced. Not sure what it is - possibly withdrawl, maybe lonliness, perhaps mourning loss of friends and girlfriend, could be my sister's health or that mister ninteenth in his class has failed in two seperate colleges ever since my emotions started getting the better of me, might be hypothyroidism or depression - but whatever the case I can most certainly say that I've never felt like this before. It's a very weird feeling.

I had a kitten for ten months while my sister battled osteosarcoma (the first time). With frequent trips to the city, my parents were to preoccupied with her to even nag me about school. Not that I cared, I was mature enough to understand...
[ Continued ... ]

Subject: bagel partners
Date: Tue, 5 Feb 2008 18:50:45 -0500

Hey Alex-

It's was so great to bump into you this morning. I saw you and remembered you immediately as my bagel partner from last year. I'm glad you're back even though it sounds like you went through some drama. Oh well, we take what life throws at us sometime. My sense is you have a lot going for you and you'll always be o.k. I'm going to be in Middletown until the end of June - (maybe longer, I don't know), so during that time let's strike up a friendship if you're not adverse to knowing an old guy ::angry:: like me. Let me know what you think and if you
got this. (I'll be up late tonite watching those political returns.)

Lyle

...
[ Continued ... ]

Haha, that face is a bit of an overstatement, but I hope everyone gets the general idea I was going for. On a side note, how does one create a new category for blogs? Any of you blog-savvy people? I don't want to put every one of my blogs under "Fun Dreaming".

So...I had an english paper due this morning. Had? Yes, "had". It was due exactly 8 minutes before I typed up the word "minutes". I brainstormed for my topic a week in advance, wrote up an outline on Tuesday afternoon, and translated it into an actual essay last night around 5-10pm (while watching my sister play old-school Ratchet and Clank). The proof-reading was done around midnight, which is when I printed and saved the work. "Date modified: 2/7/2008 12:12 AM", 'Date due: 2/7/2008 8:00 AM'. So...
[ Continued ... ]

A few of you may be aware of this already, but for those who are not...

I'd been seeing this girl for a short while. Recently, she decided that we'd be better off as just friends, and she's put aside being in contact with me because she felt it would help me get over her. Well...I called her for the first time in two months only a couple days ago. After about an hour of us talking, she told me that it didn't seem like I'd made any progress on how I was feeling about her. But something has changed - she seems willing to try talking and being friends now. Problem is that I still love her and it's hard for me to put aside those feelings. I'm not sure if it's better to have her in my life as a friend as opposed to not at all, but that doesn't matter for shit if I can't put...
[ Continued ... ]

The following is my general account of a lucid dream I once had.

At the top of a fairly tall tree is a lone human - me. For a few moments I was frightened for my safety, but then my mind came to the realization that the branches were FAR to thin to support me. It was then that I entered lucidity, at which point I proceded to recline within the canopy and think to myself. Oddly enough, although I can't remember NOW what I was thinking, my mind was actually reviewing logical thoughts. After roughly 20 minutes, I worked my way down the tree and into my back yard. I realized that my dream would last a while, and so I should find something to entertain myself while my body slept and mind rested.

I taught myself to fly. Over the course of my dream, I fell...
[ Continued ... ]