Uploaded: 11 months ago
Views: 3,426
File size: 308.69 KiB
MIME Type: application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document
Comments: 14
Favorites: 39
Some silly piece, my first piece of vore writing ever, I don't think it's that good but I'm getting there maybe? O:
Classic pair. THE Arknights ship of all time.
Looking for criticisms and feedback and the such.
Yay!
Thumbnail is of Lappland from Arknights, from the official ingame artwork.
Word Count: 2487
Please login to post a comment.
Posted by MasterOfTheBaguette 11 months ago Report
Oh my. Well I just had to comment on this one. I like it a lot I must admit. Maybe a bit too much ... and ~. There even is a sentence in which you combined both together. Outside of that though its pretty good for your Vore story. Keep it up. I am going to claim your number one fan spot before anyone steal it. Hehe.
Posted by ambernya 11 months ago Report
Yeah, that's a bad habit O' mine inherited from roleplay xd
Thanks for the comment! I'll keep that in mind!
Posted by MasterOfTheBaguette 11 months ago Report
Ahhh! No problem and you roleplay? Ah ek! I am tempted to ask if you still do it >_<
Posted by ambernya 11 months ago Report
Etto... On occasion still
Posted by MasterOfTheBaguette 11 months ago Report
Ooooh? Exciting.
Posted by Rinnicans 11 months ago Report
Mmmm... Texas stockings...
I mean- Fun read ^^ captured the energy well, not too too much to critique otherwise, mostly the kind of stuff that just gets better with more practice so, do more!
Hoping for a round 2 :>
Posted by ambernya 11 months ago Report
Heckin' dork...
Posted by AlaudiHelvaza 11 months ago Report
I found the teasing aspects very nice, really felt Lappland's energy through the words.
Posted by Anonymous1000 11 months ago Report
Great story! I do write sometimes too but I don't know if I wanna post on Aryion
Posted by Raynebow 11 months ago Report
Good stuff! Especially love Lapplapp's portrayal! Definitely gonna be on the lookout for more of ya stuff (hoping that ya do more anyhow!).
As someone above me mentioned, yeah there's a bit too many elipsis and tildes. Also gonna mention that ya shouldn't be afraid to use said! It starts to stick out when they all transition into action beats.
Posted by ambernya 11 months ago Report
Lappers my beloved!
Thanks for the feedback, I'll try to work on it
I do have a second piece already written that I'll probably share soon. After that I do plan on writing on and off when I have free time!
Posted by phrompy 11 months ago Report
Wonderful piece by a dear and cherished friend! I adore this, and I can't wait to see what other amazing stuff you write, my friend!
Posted by ambernya 11 months ago Report
<3 thank youu awawa i do have ideas and a vacation coming up and what better time to write than on vacation :D
Posted by Demicus 11 months ago Report
As if these two silly wuffs could end up any other way~