International Foodie - Thailand
 
 
It was a beautiful day in Bangkok, the streets were bustling with activity and everywhere you looked there were people, both natives and foreign tourists, going about their days.
 
The home of both Red Bull and the world's largest gold Buddha was the economic centre of Thailand afterall, known worldwide for it's comerce, and today was Saturday, the day when the world’s largest weekend market, the Chatuchak, was held. Quite naturaly, it attracted whole legions of tourists, and even more naturaly, the natives, who had entrepreneurship in their blood, took advantage of that.
 
So that Saturday there were dozens of food-stands on the streets, selling tradicional Thai food mostly to curious foreigners and charging a lot more than they usually would in a normal day. It was very lucrative for them, as the day the Chatuchak was open always used to be.
 
Working in one of those food-stalls was a young woman by the name of Lawana, who could perhaps draw a bit more attention than her fellow workers. She was no doubt a good-natured, extremely hard-working girl, who, although somewhat poor, never gave up and was always looking for gigs to help her family. Still, more than her noble personality, it was her appearance that made all the male tourists eye her lasciviously whenever they passed by the food-stall she worked at.
 
Lawana's face wasn't ugly, but was plain enough, and her hair was of the usual dark color of her people, but her body was nothing short of impressive, specially her large breasts. The fact that she worked with a shirt with such a huge cleavage didn't make things any better, but although one could accuse her of lacking modesty when it came to how a lady should dress herself, a case could be made that she didn't dress the way she did due to any personal vulgarity, but instead due to the intense heat of Bangkok, for it was the hottest city on the planet.
 
The Thai girl was as simple as she was good-natured, so although she didn't exactly like the male gaze her voluptuousess attracted, she had learned not to care about it long ago. She was happy as long as men wanted to eat her Gaeng Daeng, but if they wanted to taste her instead, then they'd better go to a brothel. Lawana was a no-nonsense type of person, and couldn't care less about flirting or having flings.
 
That day was, as expected, very busy, and as a result Lawana had to work extra hard extra fast. She barely had time to wipe the sweat from her forehead between the preparation of a Pad Thai and a bowl of Tom Yum Goong. Her tits in particular were getting very sweaty, much to her annoyance. Her boss jokingly accused her of using her sweat as a secret sauce, and everybody at the food-stand, including herself, laughed.
 
Lawana's boss was a good, although excentric man. Middle-aged and jolly, he never was creepy towards his female employee, but it would be a lie to say that he wasn't satisfied when he noticed that foreigners drove to his food-stand in flocks at the sight of the beautiful Asian lady preparing their food.
 
Meanwhile, on the street, a colorful taxi had stopped, one of it's doors opened and out stepped a caucasian man, looking quite confused and slightly frustrated. He just had an argument with the taxi driver over how much he owed him, which was only made more difficult by the fact that neither men understood the other's language.
 
Although being a taxi driver who didn't know anything about English in such a cosmopolitan capital as Bangkok was surely an unwise thing, the foreigner visiting a country without knowing a single sentence, or in this case, even a single world in the country's language was equally foolish.
 
But Brian (that happened to be his name) was an American, and he wouldn't go through the trouble of learning anything when his only goal was to see the wonders of the world as an international traveller. He only wished that everybody in the world learned how to speak English to make things easier for him!
 
To be quite honest, Brian's stay in Thailand wasn't going as well as he wished. Friends had told him about the wonders of the "Venice of the East" and sure, he had visited the temples and all of that, but he was, quite frankly, a Philostine who couldn't care less about this sort of thing. The things that caused him a greater impression was the terrible traffic-jam his taxi had been caught in, the oppresive heat and the confusing language the natives spoke.
 
"I hope my luck changes soon, because I'd hate to go away without having enjoyed anything about my stay here," Brian sighed, before his nose caught an intense smell of spices. His mouth instantly started to water. "Oh, but of course! I haven't tasted Thai food yet!"
 
His stomach growled loudly, and it was a painful sound. Brian hadn't eaten anything since his light breakfast at the hotel, so he was quite hungry, and besides, although he has been called an international traveller, international foodie was perhaps a more accurate moniker. He simply loved to experience new food whenever he visited a country, having a very sensitive palate who would be endlessly enterteined by the particularities of a place's local cuisine.
 
He followed the delicious smell and it guided him to a food-stall, which happened to be the one Lawana worked at.
 
"Hello! I'd love something really spicy right now, so what do you guys suggest I get?" He asked enthusiastically, but the man working at the food-stand stared at him confused.
 
Not again!, Brian though. He was too hungry to deal with language barriers right now! But luckily, he saw that the man went to bring another person to get his order. And that person was Lawana, for she knew a bit of English which she managed to pick up from American movies.
 
"What you want, sir? Have shrink soup, noodles, red curry..." She spoke a bit timidly with broken English and a heavy accent. She went on listing the traditional food in their menu but Brian couldn't hear a thing, for his attentions were at the girl's body.
 
The American's mouth started to water even more as he stared at those sweaty boobs. He licked his lips like a famished beast, which made Lawana notice how hungrily this foreigner was staring at her. Stoic as she was, his expression was making her umconfortable. It was too voracious, too dehumanizing.
 
"W-What will you want, sir?" The Thai girl managed to say after building up some strength to do so.
 
"Well, you!" Brian said before grabbing Lawana firmly by the shoulders. The girl couldn't even understand what was going on before she was dragged towards the foreigner's hungry maw and her head had been engulfed by it.
 
By now all the other food-stand workers and clients were staring at the spectacle taking place while paralyzed by the sheer horror of it. But Brian didn't notice the terrified eyes fixed on him and went on devouring his "tradicional Thai food" of choice. He shoved her down his throat with surprising violence and eagerness which could only be explained by the great hunger he felt, and soon enough the American was tasting the Asian's meaty breasts, replacing their sweat with his saliva.
 
But eventually he also shoved the pair of tits down, so they became a bulge on his throat, then at his chest. He kept swallowing and soon reached Lawana's waist. All the while, the woman kicked the air uselessly with her shapely legs. Lawana's butt was cute and sizeable, but not large enough to detain her devourer for too long.
 
Brian raised his head so gravity would help him finish his meal, and, grabbing Lawana's thighs, shoved her legs down his wet throat. In just a few seconds only her feet were sticking out of his mouth, and then even those were swallowed, with a loud gulp.
 
 
GULP!
 
 
"Aaaaaaah..." Brian sighed, satisfied, while rubbing his distended, squirming gut. "She was as tasteful as I expected. Got some spiciness to her as well which I really enjoyed."
 
The shock and horror of the men around him soon turned into disgust and contempt. Lawana's boss began berating Brian with a thousand Thai curses that could make a tiger's blood freeze, but the foreigner couldn't understand a single word of it.
 
"Oh, sorry, were you saving her up for later? Guess I got her first haha! No hard feelings thooooOOOOOOOOOOOURP!" Brian belched loudly and crassly, making his stomach tighten around Lawana's supple body. "Oh, pardon me! You see my body usually disagrees with foreign food at first. Anyway, I think I'll be going now. Thanks for the meal and all, bit I don't really know how much I owe you! Will this be enough?"
 
Brian's hand went to his pocket and brought out 50 satang. The foreigner placed it on the counter and walked away without waiting for the boss' reaction. When it came though, the man screamed and cursed and complained about how foreigners were all barbarians who thought that they could just go to somebody's country, eat a perfectly competent employee and walked away by paying 50 satang for an entire woman.
 
As the American walked through the streets of Bangkok, his form, well, his massive squirming belly to be more specific, attracted a lot of attention and got him a lot of amazed and incredulous looks. People took pictures of him and he didn't even notice. All the while Lawana screamed and cried and pleaded inside of him in both Thai and broken English.
 
"What curious folk people from the rest of the world are!" Brian thought aloud, patting his stomach happily. "In a civilized country like the United States, eating a woman whole would cause a whole sort of polemic and debate, but in the rest of the world, women are little more than a part of your diet! Well, in Rome, do as the Romans, is what I say to that!"
 
With this misguided interpretation of the planet's diverse cultures, Brian made his way towards the center of the Chatuchak activity. He took a look at some of the things being sold and, while nothing really interested him, the American's attention was caught by a woman offering massage. He could use some right now, it was always good relaxing after a hefty meal. The approached the massagist and managed to make her understand that he was interested in her services without much difficulty.
 
She cast a puzzled look at his bloated mid-section but then smiled at him. Money was money, and she was interested in his. She sat him down and started giving him the famous Thai foot-massage, then moved up to his shoulders and back. Brian closed his eyes and relaxed. It felt like heaven.
 
Usually, the massage wouldn't go anywhere further, but the woman had a morbid attraction for the white man's gut, and soon began rubbing and pressing it skillfully. When she heard the pathetic voice coming from his stomach, it only made her more eager to massage it, and from Brian's moans he was clearly enjoying it.
 
The massagist managed to force out a few gas-bubbles in the form of burps, and after some time, the massage was finished. Turned out that it had really helped with digestion, and after paying the massagist what he owned her, Brian decided that he would only explore a little bit more of Bangkok before returning to his hotel.
 
When he did that, he decided to return by foot. The walk would not only be some good exercise but it would also spare him the horrors of the city's traffic. Arriving at his hotel, which was a quite comfortable place used with foreigners, the hotel's receptionist smiled at him before seeing the American's gut.
 
"I'm back!" Brian announced happily.
 
"H-Hello, sir," The receptionist said in perfect English, eyes glued to the engorged belly which squirmed but faintly now and released a cacophony of gurgles. "I hope you enjoyed your tour through Bangkok. But...do you happen to be sick sir...?"
 
"What do you mean?" Brian asked, puzzled, before noticing the receptionist's gaze at his gut and laughing heartily. "Oh, this! Don't worry, I only had some Thai food. I must say I really enjoyed your people's cuisine!"
 
"Oh...I see..."
 
While Brian made his way back to his room humming a song, the receptionist stared at him the whole way, jaw almost dropping to the floor. First thing Brian did upon arriving at his room was jumping at his comfortable belly and releasing a satisfied sigh.
 
He had eaten well, and the feeling of being all full, warm and cozy was pure paradise. Brian turned on the TV and watched some of it while rubbing his belly with what was almost affection. A few smaller burps still came once in a while, but generally speaking his stomach was dealing better with the meat inside of it. All the movements had stopped and the gastric noises grew louder as the organ worked hard to churn the once hard-working Asian woman.
 
Soon enough, Brian's belly began to decrease in size as what once had been solid became pasty and human meat was converted in a bubbling slurry. Then all that soup began to be pumped into the tight tubes which were the bowels, where both water and nutrients were to be absorbded.
 
Later though, a tell-tale fart of considerable duration escaped the American's rear, and he got up from bed to waddle towards the bathroom. Allowing himself to fall on the toilet seat, it took little effort by Brian's part to initiate the release of what had once been Lawana. Manure fell from Brian's body in large quantities, and the only pause in the process was when the Asian's skull showed some resistance to get out of his anus. But all it took was the extra pressure of a few airy farts to help release the bone-structure, which crowned the mound of steaming shit.
 
Brian looked at it for some time, analyzing the state his body had left that busty babe in. She was clearly unrecognizable, but overall, she had gone through his organism in a decent speed and wasn't as nasty and greasy now as she could have been. He tried to flush the remains, but the toilet was clearly clogged. Sad, but that would happen sometimes. Brian couldn't really understand why people from the rest of the world ate women but didn't adapt their bathrooms for this particular dietary choice. How strange!
 
The American returned to his bed satisfied. He had seen a lot of the city, had received some great massage and, more important than all else, he had managed to get a taste of the local cuisine! In the end, the visit to the City of Angels that had started somewhat dreary had ended as a complete success!
 
 
 
...
 
 
 
Brian, as a certified international foodie, loved to share his experiences with other people. That's why he had created a blog to talk about his trips, a page which had a humble but considerable following online. This was Brian's most recent post after visiting Thailand:
 
"Hi guys! It's me again, Brian, and I just returned from a great trip to Thailand, or to be more specific, Bangkok! It's a great city to buy a lot of things, and also to look at old buildings, if you're a nerd for this kind of thing (which I'll admit, I am not lol), but you know the purpose of this blog, and it's talking about food, so let's get straight to that! So, in Bangkok I went to a street food-stand and bought a cute woman to eat! She had dark hair and a regular-looking face, but her rack was great, and her butt was cute. I was really hungry at the time so I pounced on her really quickly. You know me though, so it's obvious that I didn't scarf her down before taking notice of her taste! Her meat was flavourful in a moderate way, which appears to be the usual with Asians. There were some spiciness to her which really pleased me, and the fact that she was sweaty actually contributed to her overall taste! So, using my parameters, I would rate Thai food this way:
 
Presentation: 6/10
Meatiness: 7/10
Saltiness: 6/10
Sweetness: 5/10
Spiciness: 7/10
Squirminess: 7/10
Gas level: 6/10
Nastiness coming out: 5/10
 
So, an all-rounder overall! We love to see that, don't we? I recommend you guys to snatch some Thai meat if you ever visit Bangkok, because it's definetely worth it. See you guys in my next foodie adventure around the world!"