"...in a large cookpot filled with water, add celery, onion, carrots, and parsnips and a large, plump female polar bear.
Cook, stirring occasionally. make sure the bear does not try to escape.
Add potatoes to the stew, stir well, and continue to simmer until the potatoes and the bear meat is soft and tender.
Season to taste."

Excerpt from "100 Ways to Cook Bear."

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