TIGER UNDER THE BED (or when Alex met Blue)
For Anonymous
By misterebony
 
Do you believe in things that go bump in the night? Do you believe in the nightmare being that exist in the world? Do you believe in the dark?
 
Most adults don't anymore. We think the only nightmares are the ones we find telling us to get back to work at the office, or complaining about the price of soda at the grocery store. After all, it's just silly.
 
Except.... it isn't. Not really. Not when you realize the truth kids always know. That monsters are real.
 
Don't believe me? Well you just sit down and listen.
 
****************
 
It was a rainy night. The sound on the roof was like bacon frying, accompanied by the sound of the breeze outside. One would call it dark and stormy, but that would seem far to cliché.
 
It was on this night that Alex Jones lay awake. He was an eight year old boy with dark hair, dressed in cute blue pajamas. But he was scared. His night light was the only light he saw, and in it he could only see the shadows that moved ever so slightly. But he knew he wasn't alone. He knew he wasn't the only... thing in the room.
 
That realization came four years ago, on a night much like this. It was storming, and he shivered in bed. He felt like he was going to scream and run for his parents at any time. Until he heard the voice. A deep, dark voice. A voice that spoke to him.
 
"Hello Alex."
 
Alex froze. He knew that voice. He peeked over the size, and saw a glowing blue light under the bed. He was here. He had arrived. It was the monster under the bed.
 
"You know, you can say hello back."
 
Alex giggled at the snarky comment.
 
"There, that's the morsel I know. I could smell you all the way from home."
 
Alex gulped at that.
 
"You.... can smell me?"
 
"Of course I can. You just had a bath with that.... *snuff sniff*... bubble gum shampoo. Yum yum. It flavours kids so well."
 
Alex pulled the covers up to his neck. "Then I better stay up here, so you cant get me!"
 
The voice chuckled. "Now who told you that was how it works. Your parents? Your teacher? Some hokey pokey flim flam guide on monsters and staying safe?"
 
The boy eeped as he saw.... something move up the side of the bed.
 
"Just cause we can't crawl out.... doesn't mean we can't get you."
 
Alex gulped. "You mean...?!"
 
The being chuckled. Alex heard something turn on with a click, and felt a powerful suction. He gave a scream before suddenly being sucked out from under his bed cover and into a massive tube, one that kept sucking on him, pulling him in. It seemed to make a distinctive and slightly disturbing GLORPing sound as the boy was sucked in bit by bit. Finally, the boy was sucked into a massive, cloth lined area. At which point the machine shut off, and the voice began to hum "Shortening Bread".
 
"Ahh, the wonders of modern technology." The voice said. The boy felt... something reach to one end of the cloth area he was in and tie it up, and felt himself suddenly lifted. He heard a faint, ominous humming, a sound followed by a another loud disgusting sound like going down a drain.
 
And just like that, he was caught.
 
**********
 
Blueclaw Sripes was delighted. He had waited for 4 years for his bed boy to mature and ripen. And while chefclevers and boogies and snipsnaps and glomps and all other manner of residents in Underbed surely were slower to age than humans.... waiting 4 years for a wonderful meal is still a long time to wait.
 
The being in question certainly didn't like waiting either. He was at first glance something that looked feline, but his fur was brown and tan, with dark spikey stripes. He had huge sharp claws on his front and back paws, claws that worked as well as fingers for you or I. But the worst was that they glowed neon blue, possibly from the saliva from his tounge and maw, his insides glowing and frightening. He looked frightening and had a hunger to match.
 
But, truth be told, Blueclaw was just like any other hungry monster in Underbed. They seem scary, and their diet is... well you can guess. That aside they are not THAT unpleasant. So it is no suprise Blueclaw (or Blue to his friends) was waving to his fellow monsters. Many of said monsters even had catches of their own, in sacks like him in some cases, though some lucky ones had humans on leashes or even walking with them hand in hand. He waved to them all, chatted with some, and then would continue to his home.
 
As for what home was for the monster, it wasn't what you expect. It was not a cave or a haunted house style home. Wasn't a dungeon nor a tower. It wasn't even a hidden alcove surrounded by the bones of 1000 kids.
 
Nope, it was a cozy little house, painted black with neon blue trim. Cute carnivorous flowers grew by a walkway made of obsidian, and the door had a genuine copper coated skull door knocker.
 
Hey I said cozy, not welcoming.
 
Anyways Blueclaw happily opened the door to his home, carting his catch on his back, his other hand holding the new Toddler Taker 1000, a special type of monstrous vacuum meant to suck up potential snacks right off the bed. No more trying to trick them into looking over the side, no no, this device just snakes up, sucks them up like a hungry serpent, and packs them into wonderfully convenient sacks for food storage.
 
And this particular sack had a boy by the name of Alex in it!
 
"OK, we are here!"
 
****************
 
Alex had heard all the commotion going on after being sucked into the cloth sack, but now he finally saw light break through the top. He went wide eyed as a clawed paw fished him out with delicate ease, and set him inside a cage on a massive counter in a kitchen thst was both very fancy and extremely frightening, as everything was the perfect size for cooking.... ulp...
 
"Well, glad to meet face to face. You're.... Alex of course, and you know who I am right?"
 
Alex swallowed and nodded. "You're.... Blueclaw?"
 
"Oh no need to be formal. Blue to my friends and future dinners." He retracted one set of claws and shook Alex's hand, the stunned look never leaving his face.
 
"You mean..." Alex said, swallowing again, "... you mean you're going to.... eat me?"
 
Blueclaw nodded. "Indeed. But if you behave I promise it will be fun. I'm a monster, not an abuser or torturer. Leave that for the humans."
 
Alex watched as the monster grabbed a big cook book, then another, and then another. He blinked at how big they all were.
 
"Wait.... so you don't just.... swallow me whole?"
 
Blueclaw laughed. "Seriously?! I'm a monster, not an animal!"
 
Alex blinked. "Well.... you do look like a tiger..."
 
Blue chuckled. "Don't get off track. I don't eat my kids raw. I prefer them well cooked."
 
Alex went wide eyed. "C.....c....c....COOKED?"
 
Blueclaw nodded, getting his favorite chefs hat from a nearby hook. He was delighted when he found a kid dressed like a chef in bed awhile back, and kept the hat to remember the resulting toddler soufflé.
 
"You see, kids are not had raw.... but DELICIOUS when properly prepared. And there are so many wonderful recipes. Breakfast burritos, sibling soups, child cupcakes, rotisserie ragamuffin suprise.... yum yum yum!"
 
Alex backed away as much as he could in his small cage but of course he couldn't go far. Blueclaw meanwhile opened the first book, which was titled "Children Recipes to Die For, Volume 1". Pictures of several smiling kids an various foods adorned the cover.
 
"Please, don't eat me!" The boy begged, at which Blueclaw looked at him.
 
"Don't eat you? My boy, I've been waiting to eat you for FOUR YEARS! You expect me after that much waiting and watching you season yourself with those baths and fatten on your mothers wonderful cooking I'm just going to say I'm not eating you?"
 
"But..."
 
"Qnd what about all those juicy burgers or hot dogs you eat? Did you think those came around overnight? No they were tasty cows that had to be ripened and harvested to be good meals. Just like kids are for monsters."
 
Alex went wide eyed. "But.... I never hear of monsters eating anyone.... I mean i know you do.... just...."
 
Blueclaw sighed. "Hush now, I'm trying to decide." Alex struggled in the cage but Blue paid him no mind, checking different recipes.
 
"Let's see..... kid soup would be good. Fine for the cold weather to..... but so cliché really. The whole monster making children stew thing is kind of old fashioned."
 
Poor Alex imagined himself with sever other kids in a big pot, boiling up for monster food.
 
"Hmmmm..... I could make a kid California roll. I mean sushi is the in thing..."
 
Alex eeped some. "But you just said you don't eat kids raw!"
 
Blue ahhed some, waving a claw. "Very true. Besides, far too messy. Hmmmmm.... maybe a rotisserie style is good.... I mean you would be delicious with barbecue sauce."
 
Alex shook his head. Blue thought for a moment and shook his as well.
 
"No, you're right. Too old fashioned. Besides, you're not nearly fat enough for that. Maybe if you had eaten more of those cakes I know kids eat."
 
Alex felt his belly. He swallowed and sobbed a little.
 
"Actually..... come to think of it.... you do eat a lot of hamburgers from what I smelled..... and you are pretty lean...."
 
Blue licked his chops and Alex gulped.
 
"I think a big, juicy, yummy kid burger is perfect! And I just made a big batch of buns too, with the Gaelic seasoning. Oh my mouth is watering!"
 
Alex shook his head, but the monster just turned and went to a massive indoor fireplace, setting a big grill into place over it. He then blew out flames of Sapphire onto the wood within it, and the wood blazed up perfectly.
 
"Fresh wormwillow. Got to have the right wood for grilling, don't you agree?"
 
"Help! Help! Mommy! Daddy!!! Mmmphhhh!!!"
 
The monster quickly shoved an onion into the boys mouth and shook his head. The onion went in with such force, the boy couldn't move his jaw.
 
"Honestly, why do the scared ones always scream. Ah well." He shrugged and got a big pewter bowl the size of a tub, and added oil, seasoning, diced onion and garlic, and hot pepper. He mixed it up some and gave it a sniff before adding just a bit more pepper.
 
"I love my boy burgers spicy." The monster explained. He licked his lips and approached the cage. The boy knew this was it. He screamed around around onion, begging for mercy, for any kind of hope. Tears were in his eyes.
 
But Blue didn't listen, opening the cage at the top and pulling the boy out. He used his claws like a professional, slicing away the boys clothes without once cutting him, even his undies, leaving him bare as the day he was born. Blue sniffed him a couple times before finally poking him with one of his claws on his rump, leaving a little blue prick.
 
"There. Now you can't wiggle away. This makes it so you are nice and moldable, like a good burger patty."
 
With that the boy was put in the bowl of seasoned oil, whimpering around the onion qs his body was coated with oil and spices. Blue rolled him around professionally, having made many kid burgers before, and this would he another masterpiece he was certain.
 
Finally, to the boys momentary relief, he was pulled out of the bowl, only to scream as he was tossed on the grill on his back. He screamed for a moment before he realized he wasn't feeling any pain. Blue quickly explained.
 
"I forgot to mention." He held up his claw. "The claws I have make a natural venom I can inject. It doesn't just paralyze, it deadens your nerves so you won't feel any pain. Like I said, I'm not a simple animal or an abuser, just a hungry monster making a kid burger for dinner."
 
He sprinkled some pepper on the boy, poor Alex smelling himself cooking, and unfortunately realizing that he did indeed smell delicious.
 
"Shame you don't have any siblings. As tasty as you look I could gorge myself on your brothers and sisters. Still, a meal is a meal, and kids are always delicious."
 
Blueclaw chuckled some qs he sprinkled a little salt on the grilling little boy. He then went went a nearby cupboard and got out a bun that was just the right size for Alex.
 
"Now.... what to put on you.... I was thinking the traditional pickles, ketchup, and mustard. But then again the toppings of shredded lettuce, diced onion, qnd spicy sauce is good.... or perhaps some seared mushrooms and peppers...."
 
Alex whimpered, more in fear than in pain, as he pictured himself in each of those styles. He wanted to squirm, struggle, fo something, but he couldn't even move. Presently Blue took a massive spatula and, with great ease, flipped the boy over so he was looking right at the flames that were cooking him. They seemed to tickle him, making him laugh, tortured by being unable to even squirm to avoid.
 
It was then he felt something placed on his back, and realized from the smell that it was cheddar cheese. Blue was going traditional, deciding on making the boy into a tasty cheeseburger, slicing some tomato and lettuce to go on top. As the boy was just about done, he spread some mayo on the top bun, placing both sides of the bun open on a massive plate.
 
Alex realized his time was up as the spatula came under him and lifted him off of the grill. The scent of grilled boyburger filled his nose, and he cried a little when he confirmed again how tasty he smelled. With a plop, he landed on the bottom bun. The weight on his back increased as he felt the tomato slices, lettuce leaves, and finally the top bun squish down on him. He was a perfect fit, only his feet, hands, and head sticking out.
 
And he looked delectable.
 
"Mmmmmm.... time for dinner!" Blue said, tyijg a napkin around his neck that had a picture of a couple kids in cupcakes on it. He lifted up the burger and looked the boy over, deciding to eat him feet first. He opened wide and, with a massive chomp, took the boys feet and ankles in one bite.
 
Alex didn't feel any pain, only pressure and the lack of feeling in his feet. But he heard. He heard the monster chewing, making sounds of delight as he are, and finally swallowing.
 
"Oh, so good. I knew you were at the peak of flavour today. Well worth the wait."
 
He took another bite, taking the left leg. Some chewing occurred, and then in went Alex's right leg. He was crying profusely now, knowing this was it. He would never grow up, never see him friends again, never even see his mom or dad. He felt the monster hold him tighter, taking a big bite out of his juicy rump, the monster clearly loving it most. He wanted to go home, he pleaded for this nightmare to end.
 
But while it seemed the boy was in a sort of torture, the monster was in heaven. How tasty the boy was, so decadent and tender! And with a nice bit of crunch too! Blueclaw loved eating kids, and Alex was another tasty meal indeed!
 
Another bite, and the arms were mostly gone. Blueclaw regretted dinner was almost done, but that was how it went.
 
"Whelp, guess this is goodbye kiddo. Thanks for the meal!"
 
Alex screamed around the onion as the rest of the burger was shoved into Blue's mouth. He kept screaming until the jaws came down and, with several satisfying chomps, chewed the delicious boy burger to bits. With one final swallow, poor Alex was all eaten up, now just a bit of pudge on the monsters belly. He rubbed it happily, licking his messy lips, until he gave a big belch.
 
"Ahhhhhh.... what a great meal."
 
****************
 
What happened next? Well, some say poor Alex disappeared, but his parents, poor souls, forgot all but him. That's how monsters get so many meals without people knowing. It's a little trick they have you might say.
 
But some say Alex woke up in his bed, screaming. He thought it was all a bad Dream. And again monsters can do that do, revive their food an take the memories of it. That way, they don't get caught.
 
But there are some who say the monster still as Alex in that house in Underbed, a pet he revives now and then to fatten up for a fancy treat. It's a common practice, as human pets are so adorable. Heck willing ones even get lots of toys to play with and fun things to do.
 
Whatever happened, Blueclaw existed. And he still has kids for meals even today. He may even be making one into a cake as we speak. So I ask again:
 
DO YOU BELIEVE?