RETURN TO UNDERBED
By misterebony
Original transcript by Blueclaw the Monster
Commissioned by a being beyond comprehension
 
 
(The following is a modified transcript created by an actual resident of Underbed, the city of monsters and fear. Some of the more... dark content has been removed for protection of sanity.)
 
I.... am a monster.
 
Of course, you are free to believe that or not. If you are an adult, you won't likely see me. Adults are far too stringy and tough, bitter from the disappointments of modern life.
 
And if you're a toddler.... one good job reading so well, and two you're too small to be worth it. I don't like appetizers or rich monster portions. How those Drachhalams (the author assumes this is an Underbed curse word...) can eat those tiny portions is beyond me. Monsters are supposed to be GLUTTONS.
 
Now, if you're in elementary school? Washing up daily and eating your moms cooking, especially desserts.... yeah you're food. You can't escape it. You can't avoid it. All kids are food to Underbed residents.
 
Oh some are oh so goody two shoes about it. They do it while the kids are sleeping, then pop! Back in bed they go, like nothing ever happened. Kids think it was a dream! But me? I'm a greedy greedy guzzler. I live to eat kids. And I don't give them back.
 
My name is Blueclaw Stripes, but that sounds MUCH too formal. Call me Blue. All my food does. And if you are reading this and a kid.... just resign yourself to it now. You're going to be eaten.
 
I can tell up until now you don't believe me. All the better. But to help show I'm NOT lying, I will relay a nice little story. One about a kid I monitored for awhile and...
 
Hm?
 
You heard a story of me eating a kid?
 
Oh good! Then you know what's coming. See I don't limit myself to one kid. I want a FULL larder. A STUFFED pantry.
 
So let me tell you about a hunt I had recently. It was... to DIE for, if you'll pardon the expression. Or don't. Doesn't matter to me.
 
*******************
 
It was not long ago. I suppose for you humans, you would say it was autumn. But for us monsters... it was hunting season. For when the temperatures grow cold, the sun is weaker. And where the sun is weak, the residents of Underbed can come to play.
 
And play I did. Though I found nothing spectacular. A girl with a cute teddy.... tasty, but far too thin. A sports obsessed boy..... ick, far too tough and chewy. A spoiled rotten brat.....
 
Look. Quick aside here... you parents trying to poison us with some of these misbehaving kids? Cripes and Cheddar, lay down the law. That or sell them to one of those witches.
 
But I digress, because I am not making a big point. There is a BIG rule about catching kids. A rule that should be clear.
 
WE CAN'T CATCH THEM WHILE THEY ARE ASLEEP.
 
Yup. While they are asleep, we can't touch them. It's like poaching, except the penalty is instantaneous... and fatal. Most we can do is nibble and taste and eat the dreams.
 
(Authors note: at this point the original writer, Blue, talked about a dream eater getting all the luck by getting tons of nourishment by eating dreams... then calling them lazy for not actually eating them while awake. This has been skipped to stay on track.)
 
Now you might wonder... why do I mention this? Because my recent catch was, for a long time, one of these very kind of kids. A deep sleeper. One with all the good dreams. Let me describe him to you.
 
He was about seven years old, with a decent amount of chub. And he was cute! Like one of those toys little girls buy! I once caught of glimpse of those blue eyes! He looked sooooo delicious!!! But the best part? He loved going BAREFOOT. And he took wonderful care of those feet. Scrubed between the toes, washed them real nice and clean, almost never wore socks though so they never got too sweaty.
 
Deeeeelicious.
 
Oh how much I loved seeing those toes. I would sneak out while he slept, and lick them like a human would lick a lollipop. I'd move my tounge along the sole and up to the ankle, getting the feet top to bottom. And they always hung out over the bed, the little tease, so it was easy to just crawl out and give them a good nomming! A nibble on the big toe, a slurp of the tiny little piggy, chewing ever so gently on those sweet, luscious footsies...... oh yum yum yum he was such a TEASE!!!
 
And you want to know the best part, or the worst? HE CLEARLY LIKED IT. He never woke up once. He moaned a little in his sleep, but was always smiling. Little teasing snack loved every nibble on each of those ten dainty little piglets that are on a foot. Oh how I wanted to deep fry them and serve them with honey mustard, or chop those feet off for a wonderful FLT sandwich! How much I wanted to see him watch as I slowly, see his reactions as the feet vanished.
 
But I remind you, we are not allowed to catch them while they sleep. So for months and months I waited. I waited for so long.
 
And then thst night, in the hunting time, it happened. I went to the kids room. I could see his blonde hair a little as I poked my head out. And then I heard it. The most wonderful sound a monster can hear.
 
I heard him scream and sit up.
 
OH HAPPY DAY!!!! AT LAST!!!
 
"Bad dream?" I asked. He was silent for a second. "You know, it's rude not to answer when spoken to."
 
"Who's there?"
 
"Oh, just a fan of your feet... and your taste."
 
The boy didn't answer me for a moment, then...
 
"Taste?"
 
"Yes, I'm a monster you know. I eat kids like you. And boy oh boy are you prime kid. Especially.... these."
 
I moved to the foot of the bed, so he could see my wonderful form. My tiger like form with neon blue highlights, and my long, wonderful tounge, able to get every bit of flavor from those tasty tot toes. He went to move them away, but he was awake now, and I could see how he reacted as I licked one slowly.... delicately..... teasingly even. And I got the reaction I hoped for.
 
He froze. I didn't know if it was fear, enjoyment, or thst emotion unknown to kids at this age, that pleasure they don't understand. But either way, I liked what I saw. And with him awake, watching me, I went to town. More than ever before, I liked the bottom of his feet, between the toes, even along the heel up to the ankle. I put a whole foot in my mouth and chewed on it, not enough to break the skin, but enough that I could bring out the sweet salty flavor I loved in well cared for feet. I wanted to bite down and take those feet, but I was having too much fun watching him. His confusion and fear mixed with delight. Oh he was so mine. I had to have him.
 
"You like that I see."
 
"N.....no.... no I..."
 
"Don't deny it. You love the feel of my mouth on your feet, how wonderfully warm and wet it is. How the teeth make such playful imprints on your soles, and the tips of your toes."
 
I chuckled. I'm not the best charmer, but when I am... it's about feet. I LOVE feet. And apparently it was working. He was getting closer to the edge of the bed. His feet were almost on the floor....
 
*Thump.*
 
GOTCHA.
 
Once a part of a kid hits the floor, they are fair game. I COULD have used the kidsucker 9000, but it was more fun this time to just tempt him. And once those wonderful feet hit the floor, he was MINE. I snatched him at the ankles, heaved him up over my shoulder, and slid under the bed into the portal without a worry, the boy giving only a single scream before he was sucked down, not nearly enough to wake his parents.
 
A successful hunt! And like a human prepares venison after hunting it, time to go home to male this boy a meal!
 
**********
 
I won't bore you too much with Underbeds scenery. Buildings here, eateries there, boo tiques everywhere, and so on. I got back to my nice cozy home, and walked in to find my cute pet, Alex.
 
You should know about him. He was my first catch that was a real keeper. A tasty burger he made to, so much so that I decided he was all mine forever. I do right by him to: nice big cozy cage with soft lining, lots of food to eat so he stays haply and fat, and of course plenty of recipe books to read. I even let him sit on my lap during movies so he can watch them while I eat his legs, especially his feet. Not as good as the ones I just found, but boy oh boy spicy.
 
Did I mention I LOVE feet?
 
Anyways, I set the boy in another cage by Alex, and as I gdt a cookbook and start to check it, I listen to the two talk.
 
"I'd say hello.... but honestly this isn't the place for that. What's your name?"
 
"Bobby..... what's yours?"
 
"Alex. Tell me.... what year is it?"
 
"..... What?"
 
"What year is it? It's been so long since I was caught."
 
"2024."
 
"........... so I have been here for 7 years.... and I'm still a kid.... I hoped once I got old enough he would let me go.... but..."
 
"What do you mean?"
 
"He's eaten me so many times.... and each time, I'm the same age as when he first caught me. Like I was reset back to that day. Still a kid. Still food."
 
"Is.... that going to happen to me?"
 
"I'm afriad so.... unless you taste bad. Those ones.... he doesn't reform. He just.... uses the restroom and that's it."
 
At this point I heard the new kid, who I now knew was named Bobby, whimper. I sighed some. I like fear as much as the next monster but come on.
 
"Alex, you be nice to the new snack!"
 
He shook his cage a little. "I won't be nice! I wanna go home!"
 
"You are home my little snack meat. But at least this one appreciates something you dont.... he takes care of his feet."
 
Bobby blinked. "You mean.... that's really why you took me?"
 
"Among other reasons, you ARE a plump little blonde who behaves and takes care of himself. Those are the best kind of kids. Not too athletic or lazy, not spoiled rotten or goody goody, the perfect blend of spicy and salty and sweet. Yum yum."
 
I licked my lips, and he swallowed nervously.
 
"But enough chatter. I'm hungry, and it is dinner time. Now I could eat you raw.... if I was a beast..."
 
"Not this again..." Alex whimpered. I pointed a single claw at him.
 
"Hush, puppy. Now, as I was saying, I'm a hungry monster, not a child abuser or a torturer or anything like that. I enjoy eating kids like you eat beef or pork."
 
Alex groaned, but Bobby seemed intrigued. "Makes sense.... will it hurt?"
 
"Hey don't go willing on me. True I like you being cooperative.... but willing? Far too sweet for my diet."
 
Alex groaned. "No worries there from me..."
 
"Hush now, and eat the rest of your cake. Or do I have to force-feed you again?"
 
That shut him up.
 
"To answer your question, no. But please do resist. I like my meals fiesty, and any tears do add some salt, perfect for barbecue."
 
Bobby gulped. "B.....barbecue?"
 
"Oh yes. I think a nice barbecue roast over a roaring fire, rotisserie style, is perfect."
 
That did the trick. He looked for a way to get out and struggled a bit in his cage, shaking the bars and crying out. I don't much like the crying, but the struggles add a nice bit of salt from sweating, ad helps marble the meat and fat of a plumper prey. Besides, with those toes uncovered, seeing them move about made my mouth water.
 
Again, did I mention how much I LOVE feet? *Slurp!!!*
 
Anyways, while all that was going on, I got a big fire going in my indoor fire pit area. Getting just the right child for a barbecue is very rare, but always worth it. Especially with a special spit like the one I have. No implement with this baby, I tie the prey at the wrists and ankles with the little metal clamps. Can even do two prey at once, making it perfect for roasting up a nice big feastfor my hungry belly.
 
Where was I again? Oh yes, meal preparation. I mixed the herbs and spices together to make a fine rub for my boy, who still tried to get out. Not that he would get far mind you. In Underbed, children are pets, snacks, or both to everyone down here. And there is no way out. Once you're here, you're here. And...
 
I'm getting sidetracked again...... anyways, I took my delicious boy, Bobby, and lifted him out of the top of the cage. At his size he would be a nice meal, nice and plump. And those wonderful toes! The best I ever seen. I couldn't resist, but before prepping, I slurped the toes over again, making him moan and making my tastebuds sing. Then.... as I tasted, I jabbed my claw into his tummy a little, injecting my paralyzing venom. He whimpered and sobbed as he realized he could no longer move, and I just went to town nomming on those delicate toes.
 
Finally, I had my pre-meal fun, and set to work. I tied him on one side of the spit at the wrists and ankles. Like I said, I never impale a barbecue, the metal ruins the taste for me. Once he was on, I rubbed in the spice mixture, which from the look in his eyes was making him itch and squirm. Perfect. Just spicy enough.
 
"Please.... st- mmmph!" Was all he got out as I use the moment he opened his mouth to jam in a lovely Bluetone apple, nice and sour to go with the spicy meat. I then smiled and looked at Alex. He had fattened up so nicely for me of late, and looked positively scrumptious as a result. Having eaten him enough times, and having tasted this yummy new pet, I know the tastes perfectly complimented one another. So I walked over to his cage.
 
"Oh you CAN'T be serious!" He said.
 
"I am. You're nice and plump, you are perfect for barbecue. Now come here."
 
He tried to fight, but one jab with my claw on his juicy rump and he was all mine. I tied him to the other side, so the two were back to back, since the buttocks and backside generally takes less time to cook than the rest of the meat so i didn't want it to burn. I spread the rub on him, and then smiled at my handiwork, the two looking positively delicious. With only a little effort, I put the spit into the auto rotator, and mixed the glaze as I watched them turn.
 
I loved to watch meat cook over a fire, especially tasty boys, because once they realize it isn't hurting, they try to hide how nice it feels. That's the joy of using foxfire: it cooks better than the poor excuse for flame humans make, and is much more enjoyable for chef and meal equally. Heck, for some it just plain tickles! I smiled as they turned, moaning around their apples, trying to hide their obvious enjoyment of the transformation into dinner.
 
Humans, am I right?
 
Anyways, I slowly painted the glaze on as they turned, adding the juices they were dripping to them as well. Oh how wonderful it smelled! How delightfully scrummy! I knew I'd have a nice meal of these two for sure. But you can't have just meat of course. So, as they turned over the fire, I made up some delicious potatoes to go with them. I am very much a meat and potatoes monster, and the taste is perfect when barbecued.
 
After a couple hours of roasting over the fire, the smell was indescribable. So wonderfully delicious. My belly rumbled as I set the table for dinner, the two now golden brown but very much conscious. I wanted them to know how well they tasted after all! I moved the spit to a serving rack, and then untied them, moving their barbecued forms to two platters lined with potatoes, steaming and flavored with my own blend of spices.
 
I smiled as they looked at me, unable to move, just watch as I sharpened a knife. With a smile, I knew just where to start: Bobby's delicious feet. With some expert carving I removed them and, at lost last, bit off a tiny toe. The taste exploded in my mouth, an ambrosia even the gods among monsters would never have tasted. I closed my mouth in almost orgasmic bliss, the meat was so tender! The toe even had a nice crunch to it, adding to the experience.
 
"Oh wow.... this is the best feet I ever tasted!" I told Bobby proudly. "That's it. From now on I'm making sure your feet are well taken care off. These are... amazing!"
 
I swore Bobby looked proud at that... or terrified, one of the two. Anyways, I took my time on those feet, nibbling each toe off one by one, crunching it in my jaws, before biting into the sole and heel, with taste comparable to the finest meat you humans eat. I was in heaven, the flavor too much for my monstrous tounge, and i admit I drooled as I ate, looking a little comical. But I didn't care, these were the best. But... it ended far too soon. With all the licking and nibbling and chewing.... the feet were all gone.
 
"Wow.... that was amazing. Thanks for taking such good care of your feet Bobby. They were the best."
 
I looked at Alex.
 
"But I'm afriad I need to first eat my favorite boy before I eat you up. So enjoy the show!
 
Alex whimpered and screamed around his apple as i picked him up. With the appetizer all gone, it was time for the main course. I opened wide and stuffed the boy in head first. With a chuckle, I loosened the apple from his mouth and swallowed it, before beginning to work him down my throat. He screamed for help, but thankfully my throat muffled the sounds coming from the most decadent pet of all as I gobbled him up, being sure to nibble just enough to get his juices out. Having eaten this one many times, I knew just where to bite to bring out his flavor. And as always, Alex was delicious. With every swallow I got to taste more of his decadent form, from his juicy shoulders, to the plump tummy and rump, to his chewable legs and arms. His feet, of course, were last, and I savored then for a bit. Not nearly as good as Bobby's........ but still tasty. With one final gulp, the boy was devoured, and I heard him plop into my gut. I burped once, and chuckled as I took the apple from Bobby's mouth.
 
"There now, almost your turn." I said, munching the cooked apple. He whimpered a little. "You will be a wonderful pet I think, and I'll keep you nice and fat."
 
Bobby didn't respond. He didn't need to. He was mined he knew it. So, no sense wasting time. I opened my mouth as I went to the stubs where his feet had been, and began to suck the boy off of the platter, slowly pulling him closer to his fate. I chewed on him, delighted that he was so wonderfully ticklish, and he laughed and begged as I devoured him. I did miss nit having the feet again, but the rest of him was pretty good, like a fine ham. I especially loved his rump, which was more plump than I thought, and very juicy from the cooking. I nibbled it for a bit before swallowing him in.
 
"Please.... don't drag it out. ... it's too scary...."
 
I heard his plea, shrugged, and decided to grant his wish. A few more gulps, and I sucked him up like a noodle. I chewed on him some in my mouth, swallowed, and gave a huge burp. I was so full now, my belly had a nice bump. However, I did goggle up all the potatoes I cooked as well, mainly because I laughed as I seem to make them land on their heads, making them complain and ask to stop. A comical moment I had to laugh at.
 
Easily a ten out of ten meal.
 
*************
 
Now you may wonder if the two kids died. Of course not. I'd be a fool to have that meat only one time. So, I reformed them into their cages. To thank Bobby for such wonderful feet, I got him a big doughnut as big as he was, and even made sure to scrub his soles.
 
With my tounge, that is.
 
I still have both of my pets. They are both delicious and I have made them into all manner of dinners. And Bobby watches TV with me while I suck on his toes. He will never admit it, but I think he likes it more Tha. I do, and I love it, those toes feeling wonderful as they wiggle in my mouth.
 
And Alex? Well I love to fatten him up, but I have to admit.... I may be getting tired of him soon. I may have to give him... a proper send off. But I wonder how, and when.
 
Course I'll need a replacement. A kid who is really tasty and delicious. Not too willing, but not too fiesty. I wonder...
 
Will you be the next meal?
 
(Authors note: at this point the writing from Blueclaw ended. But I began to wonder. Underbed had to have more types of monsters..... I wonder what others have been snatching up kids....)