GOSSIP
a short story by Phantelle ([email protected])
 
 
 
 
It all started Wednesday morning in medieval history class taught by Charity Cormack, and it ended with me and my classmate together in a cramped detention room the next day. But can anyone really blame us? I really like Ms. Cormack, she's a great teacher who tries to make her classes fun and engaging, I just find the subject to be about as interesting as listening to a dial tone. I guess I should start with her class then. So anyways, as usual while Ms. Cormack talked about some date here and some battle there, the boys were staring at her and the girls were passing notes to each other. Oh, I should introduce myself, shouldn't I? My name is Ashley Urikoshima, and I'm a sophomore student at Phago High School. Weird name, isn't it? Let's just say that vore is part of the standard curriculum here. I'm average height with chestnut brown hair, green eyes, and pretty healthy given that I love coffee and American TV. And don't think I speak with some clipped British accent just because I come from Winchester, no sir. American culture has influenced me a smidge - okay, more than a smidge. My classmates will tell you that I'm crazy about shoes, but every girl wants to have pretty feet. I'm just a little more vocal about it, see?
 
Ms. Cormack gave us our assignments at the end of class, which was to read a chapter and answer the questions at the end. Standard assignments aside, I think I felt more occupied getting ready for P.E. than internalizing everything I should have learned in Ms. Cormack's class. I mean, all of that history stuff is fascinating, but who wants to be stuck indoors listening to someone lecture on the guild relationships of the medieval textile industry when I could be outside owning someone at tetherball -
 
"Psst. Ashley." That would be Chiu Neska, a freshman student in Ms. Abrienda's homeroom and one of my best friends at Phago High. Chiu's Japanese, but her parents moved to the states and raised her here, so that makes her a ... um, what was the term? Drats, I knew I should have paid more attention in Ms. Cormack's class - oh, Nisei, yes, that's what it is! The anime club at Phago high treats her like a goddess, which really annoys the heck out of her. As usual, she gets my attention more from poking me in the arm than from her soft and delicate voice. You'd think she would just disappear in any crowd, but all the guys think she's very cute and charming, so she often finds herself the center of attention and life of the party. "Ashley, did you see Ms. Cormack twisting a lock of her hair around her finger while she was talking? Do you think she might have split ends?" Chiu giggled.
 
Now that I think about it, Chiu has a point; Ms. Cormack isn't the nervous kind of self-conscious teacher who is always fidgeting and seems more scared of the students than they are of the material. Granted I wasn't really paying attention (Aelina, who sits next to me, is the undisputed queen of note passing). "Really? Why would she do that?" I asked, puzzled.
 
"I guess we could go and ask. Maybe she suddenly realized how cute Enigma is," Chiu suggested mischievously, naming the senior student who liked to sit in the back with his face half-hidden in the top hat that he always wore. Looking back, we probably should have just gone and asked and Ms. Cormack would've been nice enough to tell us. But hey, since when could girls resist a juicy tidbit of gossip?
 
"What is this I hear about cute boys?" a new voice interrupted, which prompted both Chiu and me to see Aweyn passing by with books in hand. Not only is Aweyn the most accomplished student at Phago High - straight-A student, captain of the cheerleading squad for the Phago Predators, academic team leader and also Ms. Phago at homecoming - but she also has beautiful hair that runs like molten chocolate down to her waist and looks that most girls would kill for. So Chiu and I shared our speculation with her on the way to the next class and naturally Aweyn seemed scandalized. I mean, who wouldn't be with hair like hers? "Oh my! That is a horrible thing to happen to Ms. Cormack!" she exclaimed in horror as we parted down opposite branches of the school halls.
 
She met SeruOmen along the way, who had heard part of it. Seru's a junior at the school, and although he doesn't earn the best grades the teachers and students still love him for being the class clown. Not to mention that he does a hilarious Joker impression at Drama Club meetings. "What's up, Aweyn?"
 
"Mmm, I heard that Ms. Cormack has dandruff," Aweyn sighed.
 
"Dandruff? Ms. Cormack? What, is she going to start shedding hair next?" exclaimed a surprised Seru.
 
I'm sure you can figure out how it went from there. SeruOmen told Dark, who told Grimoire, who told Fia, who told Karen, who told Joanna, and on and on it went through the entire school. Weird, isn't it, how these rumors spread and become distorted in the telling? It was Colonel Kailindrea, the school disciplinarian, who concluded that since Ms. Cormack had shaved all her hair and ritually burned it, then tattooed the skin with Jolly Rogers, that she must be a terrorist. And since she had a clique of like-minded thugs lying in ambush around the school, the principal had to be informed.
 
Our principal, Dr. Minx, has a habit of arching her eyebrows in confusion whenever she hears troubling news. There's no doubt in my mind that her eyebrows must have been stuck in St. Louis arcs while Colonel Kailindrea explained the matter to her. Ms. Cormack not only had violent tendencies and used her class to indoctrinate her students, she also possessed a rap sheet longer than my shoecase. The safety of the students came first, so it became imperative that action must be taken.
 
So, you can imagine my surprise when Ms. Cormack arrived the next day at school. I carpool with Chiu to avoid having to pay too much for the outrageously expensive parking passes, and everybody knows Ms. Cormack's hearse and carriage by sight. Everything seemed to happen at once in the parking lot, with police officers swarming everywhere and S.W.A.T. teams dropping from the roof, helicopters circling around the school as news reporters filmed the action down to the last detail. Chiu and I both felt utterly bewildered amidst the maelstrom of activity, and then everybody saw her. Charity Cormack emerged from the carriage looking ... normal. The same long blonde hair as always, the same smooth face and crescent-moon bangle, the same creamy yellow overshirt with sea-green vest and skirt.
 
To make a short story even shorter, Principal Minx questioned Kailindrea and went down the chain until they finally hit the rock bottom with Chiu and me. There's a first time for everything, including seeing Ms. Cormack angry at both of us. Both of us received detention from her hands, or to be more accurate, in her womb. That's where we are right now, curled up together inside of her body while she's spent the past hour lecturing her captive audience. I think Chiu went to sleep almost as soon as we were pushed in. It's kinda comfy in here actually, all snuggly and warm with silky smooth walls even if we can't see anything. But Ms. Cormack threatened us with her cell phone if we started talking, and I have no idea when she plans to let us out -
 
"Psst. Ashley." Chiu just poked me in the arm again, so maybe she hadn't been sleeping at all. I can barely hear her voice, even softer than it usually is. "Ms. Cormack looked a little shaky in her heels today. She had this funny walk that seemed different from her usual strut ..."
 
I thought about it, pressing my back against the uterus holding both of us. Ms. Cormack had stopped talking long ago, which hopefully meant that we would be safe from the wrath of her cell phone. "Maybe she has corns on her feet?"
 
 
 
THE END.