Thanks for the comment and the favourite. I need to look at endings - someone raised that in connection with another story. I'll work on it in my next.
Nice to read a romantic story. Your descriptions are good - I'd like this sentence to be a whole paragraph: "He lay there in disbelief, helpless under Tina's body, as her mouth slowly engulfed his head."
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Posted by Insidher 16 years ago Report
Thanks for the comment and the favourite. I need to look at endings - someone raised that in connection with another story. I'll work on it in my next.
Posted by bela 16 years ago Report
Nice to read a romantic story. Your descriptions are good - I'd like this sentence to be a whole paragraph: "He lay there in disbelief, helpless under Tina's body, as her mouth slowly engulfed his head."