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Donut By 13master13 -- Report

Uploaded: 13 years ago

Views: 4,749

File size: 13.59 KiB

MIME Type: application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document

Comments: 6

Favorites: 26

I guess a new character? Probably.

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newenglandee

Posted by newenglandee 13 years ago Report

See now, this main character Abby's not likable, the leaps in logic are REALLY ridiculous, her deductive reasoning is completely absurd, and it's not that funny a story, so if you were going for a "silly" angle, I gotta admit, I'm not laughing much. All perfectly legitimate reasons for not enjoying a story, vorish or not.

Look, if you really want some constructive criticism, I'll be happy to give it to you. There's nothing wrong with a silly story now and then, but there really wasn't much to laugh at in this one. And it helps if the protagonist is, as I said, more likable and less of a jerk about this kind of thing. Now, if she had been suddenly MOBBED by donuts and her RA entered her room to find nothing more than a pile of strangely large donuts and bones on the floor...THAT would have been funny and ironic, see? I really do believe in trying to be fair about why I like and dislike something, honestly I do. I don't mean to be mean.

13master13

Posted by 13master13 13 years ago Report

Lol k.

Solomon

Posted by Solomon 13 years ago Report

Hehe, just more proof that reasoning ability only ever tells us what we wanted to believe anyway. Go Abby!

Maurt899

Posted by Maurt899 13 years ago Report

liked this one, dialogue between pred and prey gets a + in my book, and her illogical reasoning just means she was too hungry to think, amiright?

DriderMan

Posted by DriderMan 12 years ago Report

i enjoyed this story far more than i thought i would. It was silly but i just loved abbys attitude. I adore preds that are casual about eating others