Surprise! Dragon - Kinky Pleasures
 
Part 1
 
None of the staff at Kinky Pleasures quite knew what to make of him. He was huge - they had to open up the old, bricked-over loading bay in the back to let him in, and even then he had to sit half-in, half-out of the building. His mottled green scales were the colour of moss, and his eyes, a deep yellow, made him some form of forest-dweller. Other than that, they had only myths and legends to go on.
 
The dragon had been discovered on one of Johnny Fucksalot's many sabbaticals - although any staff member would swear under oath that Johnny never left Kinky Pleasures, the fact remained that he went to extremely exotic locales to gather the many preds they had under their roof. Some said he was a Time Lord, others that he was just really really fast, and still others that he had a hidden twin brother - or other co-conspirator - that helped gather the preds. It was truly the stuff of legend... or at least back-alley rumour and lunatic conspiracy theory.
 
While Johnny went to his office to frantically draw up paperwork, the dragon just laid down in the bay, blinking at them all. They had had to remove twelve rooms on both levels to accomodate him, and none could remember quite how all of that brick had been moved, or where it was now. Amongst the rooms destroyed was the entrance to Yvette's cavern, but it had been temporarily covered by a trapdoor with a stone on top of it.
 
Some of the braver clientele and staff approached the dragon and, upon realizing it wasn't a threat, began climbing all over it. It accomodated them, letting them slide along his tail or down his throat. This being Kinky Pleasures, some inevitably asked him to eat them, but this was met with confusion.
 
Johnny returned and shooed everybody off of the dragon, glaring at them for good measure. He got them all to leave that part of the place and somehow moved the entrance to Yvette's over a good portion. It shouldn't have been possible, just picking up and moving a corridor like that... but it was done. The corridor was in front of a door, which after knocking four times Johnny opened. It was an empty closet. He pushed the trapdoor inside and closed the door.
 
<I am not so sure I understand what it is you want me to do,> said the dragon, speaking telepathically to Johnny, who turned towards the dragon. <It is so small here. And these creatures, too.>
 
"You can make 'em grow and shrink, can't you?" said Johnny.
 
<Well... well, yes, but...>
 
"Then that's good enough for me." Johnny walked past the dragon, whose rear end was causing quite the traffic jam on the adjacent side-street. Johnny would have to smooth everything over - claim it was a prop. "I've cleared out a cavern underneath you - can you sense it, or sniff it out?"
 
<I think I can,> said the dragon, closing its eyes. <Yes, there are a number of large, dug-out spaces underneath us. You want me in the larger one, I take it?>
 
"Yes," said Johnny, clapping his hands. "Now, how this works is people pay me to go see you, or one of my other workers. They get you to shrink 'em, or grow 'em, or stick 'em in one o' your holes, or just eat 'em. Sometimes they just want someone to take control, and sometimes they just want to be with a dragon. I mean, some crazy people worship your kind."
 
<I... see,> said the dragon. <But... won't that kill them?>
 
"Not all the time," said Johnny. "But yes, sometimes. Only if the client wants it. And never without their permission." Johnny casually omitted the fate of one Internet reporter who had asked too many questions and seen all the wrong things.
 
<W-well... as long as they consent to such things, I suppose it would be all right...>
 
"Look, Raryanchankah," said Johnny, "I know you'll miss your home, but this is your home now. You're the last of the dragons - if there's any hope of repopulating, it's through someplace like this. Just think - free food, a place to call home, and a steady supply of sex. I don't know about dragons, but most other creatures'd kill for that. Some do."
 
<All... all right,> said Raryanchankah. <I suppose I will have to go through the ground to get to my cavern?>
 
"Yup," said Johnny. "I've already made a passageway leading from there up here - you just get down there and wait for the first customers to come in, OK?"
 
<What if I do not do well?> The dragon's face was mostly unreadable, but there was an unmistakeable look of worry on it now.
 
"Look, you'll be fine," said Johnny. "All you have to do is take care of our clients. Macrophiles, dragon fetishists, dragon worshippers, and vore fetishists'll be what you deal with, mostly. All you have to do is stick 'em where they want to be stuck and be yourself. You'll do fine."
 
<Okay,> said Raryanchankah. <I trust you, Johnny.> With that he melted through the ground, guiding himself to his cavern.
 
Johnny shook his head and muttered "What a character" as he waved a hand, restoring the brickwork he'd temporarily moved to accomodate Raryanchankah. He prided himself on being in multiple places at once, but with the evacuation and removing the brick - all while escorting an increasingly nervous dragon - his abilities had been put to their limits. He went to the side-entrance, ready to go back to work - while he took his sabbaticals, this was what he loved to do.
 
Part 2
 
Jeremy shouldn't have come here. He knew it, and smacked himself on the forehead. But Kinky Pleasures' offer of a dragon was too strong to resist, and he, like all his friends before him, gave into the siren call. There were two left, the rest having given themselves to some of the more lethal Kinky Pleasures available; one had a macro foot-fetish, a number were voraphiliacs... he sighed and shook his head, his vulpine ears catching the wind and making him stop. He did NOT want another earache.
 
"'Ello, there," said Johnny, who was leaning on his wall. "Come to sample some Kinky Pleasures, 'ave you?"
 
"Yes," said Jeremy, reaching into his coat for the consent forms, which had the requisite five hundred dollars attached by paperclip. Five hundred dollars was almost twice what Kinky Pleasures charged, and they knew people would pay it, if just to see a real live dragon. Some who didn't even approve of whorehouses had come to see - business was twice what it had ever been. Jeremy handed the forms and the money over.
 
"Thank ya's," said Johnny, pushing the form into a hidden slot on the wall. He opened the wall with a grand gesture, wordlessly inviting Jeremy inside. He went in, watching his tail to make sure it wasn't smashed by the closing of the door - that had happened more often than he cared to share.
 
Jeremy looked around curiously, admiring the grand design of the place despite its shabby exterior, but mostly focussed on Johnny as he was led to the dragon. Rary, it was called, suitably enough - Rarity would have been the only name more fitting. Johnny was a living legend, and Jeremy couldn't help but feel a bit awed as he was led to the first door on the back corridor, which opened to reveal a trap door with a rope ladder leading down. How fitting.
 
"Go on down," said Johnny. "You'll be his first real customer, if you dig my meaning." He winked.
 
"Thanks, but I don't want anything fatal today," said Jeremy, causing Johnny to raise his eyebrows. "I know I signed that form, but that's just for... in the future. So I don't have to pay as much for return visits."
 
"Smart man, coverin' your bases," said Johnny. "How often'll I be seein' you in here?"
 
"As often as I can get in," said Jeremy, a little stiffly. "Money doesn't exactly grow on trees, especially not now, with the recession."
 
"Well, forget all that now," said Johnny. "We got a real live dragon down there! His name's Raryanchankah. Think you can remember that?"
 
"Rarya... raryan... sorry, could you repeat it?" Johnny did, a total of three times, until Jeremy felt he got it. He thanked Johnny, who just nodded his head and finger-saluted the fox as he descended into the dragon's lair.
 
The air smelled not of sulphur and brimstone, as Jeremy had expected, but rather like a forest after a long summer rain. Not quite like that, but close. As close as a living creature could get and still smell like...
 
All thoughts fled Jeremy's head as he beheld the dragon. There was some form of glowing lichen on the walls, providing ambient light, and the dragon was a sight to behold. Its forest-green scales didn't glitter like in the stories, but there was a simple beauty there. The dragon's head was streamlined without being cold, and its back was conspicuously absent of wings. A bit disappointed, Jeremy nonetheless stepped forward with something like reverence.
 
Raryanchankah gazed back, a little uncomfortable at the attention he was receiving. He'd been flooded with visitors since this morning, but Johnny had told him to expect that. What he hadn't expected was the fervour of some of them. They paid just to sit and talk with him for a time, and Raryanchankah was getting a rather clear picture of his fellow sentient species, one he didn't particularly like. But they certainly hadn't asked to be made that way.
 
<Hello, little one,> sent the dragon, causing Jeremy to jump. He didn't look around, though, understanding that Raryanchankah was talking. <I am called Raryanchankah. What do they call you?>
 
"Nothing so special," said Jeremy. "Just Jeremy."
 
<Special or not, it is your name,> sent Raryanchankah, <and that makes it as special as you let it. What does your name mean?>
 
"I don't know," said Jeremy, sitting down cross-legged.
 
<That is a shame. Will you be leaving here?>
 
"I hope to, at least for today," said Jeremy.
 
<Then you should find out what your name means. Have you resources for finding this out?>
 
"Yeah, there's the Internet," said Jeremy.
 
<Ah. I have been told already about this Internet. It seems a fantastic repository for knowledge, amongst other things. What did you want to do?>
 
"You've probably already heard this a hundred times today, but I'd just like to talk for a while - i-if you don't mind."
 
<I don't mind,> said Raryanchankah. <I am curious about you little ones. I do not believe I have spoken with your species yet - what are you?>
 
"A fox," said Jeremy. "A red fox, which is likely mostly what you'll see for foxes. There are others, but we're most common here in the city." Jeremy fell silent afraid he'd talked too much.
 
<I see. You have a rather large tail - not very long, but rather wide.>
 
"Oh - yeah," said Jeremy, grabbing his tail and pulling it onto his lap. He stroked it, revealing its true width. "It's not really wide - just bushy. All red foxes' tails are, usually."
 
<Do you have any questions about me?> Jeremy, to his credit, didn't immediately burst forward with a barrage of questions sublime and inane, but stopped to think for a moment.
 
Finally, he settled on: "Why don't you have wings?"
 
Raryanchankah turned his head to look at his back before saying <They would get in the way, I think. I live in the forests, and I would be constantly hitting my wings on trees - the forests are hard enough to navigate as it is for one of my size.>
 
"Yeah, I guess," said Jeremy, laughing a little. He was momentarily startled by a low chuffing sound that he realized was the dragon laughing. "Hey - uh, Rary...anchankah, do you know any jokes?"
 
<Jokes?> said the dragon, tilting its head. The two spent the next while discussing jokes - Raryanchankah, it turns out, knew a few after all - and after realizing what would and wouldn't seem funny to someone of a completely different culture, the two were rolling around and laughing.
 
"And what would you call a creature with no arms and no legs in the ocean?" said Jeremy, and I'm sure more than a few of you rolled your eyes at that one.
 
<I am uncertain. What would you call such a creature?>
 
"Bob, bobbin' away in the ocean!" Jeremy set off howling, and Raryanchankah chuffed a fair bit, too.
 
<I am having fun with you, Jeremy,> said Raryanchankah.
 
"Yeah, I'm having fun too," said Jeremy, wiping a tear from his eye. "Geez, I haven't laughed that hard since Jamie brought his boa constrictor girlfriend home. Girl knew more off-colour jokes than I knew existed."
 
<Are they happy together?> asked Raryanchankah, and Jeremy's smile faded.
 
"Well, she is," said Jeremy. "And Jamie went how he would've wanted to go - she ate him."
 
<Oh. He... was a vore... a vora...>
 
"A vore, yes," said Jeremy, looking at the wall. "I get it - I mean, that stuff turns me on, too - but I don't get how someone could die for that."
 
<I have pondered it, as well,> said Raryanchankah. <Johnny says that if a creature is willing, then there is no more beautiful way for two being to bond.>
 
"Yeah, well, you still end up with one person becoming a pile of shit," said Jeremy angrily. "Yeah, I get it - preds hunt prey, it happens - but for a prey to sacrifice themselves? I guess I just don't get it."
 
<Well, I've had a few meals already today,> said Raryanchankah. <They sit uncomfortably in my stomach, but all are undeniably happy.>
 
"Yeah? You can know that?" Jeremy was looking at Raryanchankah, his expression unreadable to the calm dragon.
 
<Yes,> said Raryanchankah. <I can tell that this subject has agitated you. These beings are inside of me and so I feel what they feel. There is pain, there is some regret, but all are happy.>
 
"Well, I'm not sure I would be," said Jeremy.
 
After a moment, Raryanchankah said <Could I examine your emotions and try to determine whether you would be happy with such an end?>
 
"Yeah, sure, I guess so," said Jeremy, gasping a moment later as Raryanchankah probed his mind. It was like cold tentacles peeling your skull back and picking at your brain - complete vulnerability and loss of control.
 
Jeremy waited patiently for it to be over, and after what seemed like an eternity Raryanchankah said <I think you would be too conflicted at this point for that, although I think you would be happy with non-lethal 'vore', as you call it.>
 
"You do that, do you?" asked Jeremy, and Raryanchankah nodded. "What kinds?"
 
<Well, any kind, I suppose,> said Raryanchankah. <I could grow you or shrink you with my magic for whatever you would have in mind.>
 
"I... see," said Jeremy, standing up and pacing as he mentally explored the possibilities. His mind seemed full of them. Finally, he said "Do you do cock vore?"
 
<Cock... vore? You mean, putting you in my... in my cock?>
 
"Yeah," said Jeremy. "I don't think it'd be possible with anyone else, so I'd like to do that."
 
<I do not think you would like it,> said Raryanchankah apprehensively. <I could shrink you so you would fit, but it's just a network of tubes filled with semen, really. My anus might be a bit better, if you would like something like that.>
 
"I think I would," said Jeremy. "As long as you let me out afterwards."
 
<Of course,> said Raryanchankah. <I find swallowing willing prey difficult enough - I could not do so to unwilling prey. The emotions coming off of you would make me vomit you back up and try to make it up to you any way I could.>
 
"Okay," said Jeremy, pulling his clothes off and piling them next to the rope ladder. He walked around to Raryanchankah's rear, where he lifted his tail. A dank, mulchy smell wafted over to the fox, who was surprised it didn't smell worse. "All right, I'm ready. I think."
 
<Good,> said Raryanchankah, dilating his anus. <Go slowly - this will be a first for me, too. Might I suggest that you be a little bit larger for this?>
 
"Go for it," said Jeremy, and he grew three feet, retaining his body's proportions. Raryanchankah shuddered and said <Enter when you are ready.> So Jeremy wouldn't be the only one enjoying this, it seemed.
 
Jeremy remembered what Raryanchankah said about this being his first time, too, and experimented by putting a leg in Raryanchankah's anus first, which earned a gasp and a shudder. Jeremy worked his other leg in, and Raryanchankah carefully rolled onto his side (with plenty of warning for Jeremy) and began masturbating, panting as he did so.
 
Jeremy pushed himself in with the ground, but he needn't have bothered - Raryanchankah's greedy tailhole was already pulling him in. The pucker was caked with dragon shit, but the interior was mostly empty, thankfully. Jeremy didn't think he could have handled coming into contact with dragon shit this early on. He wriggled inside, gripping his erect shaft and pumping away. The bowel smelled rancid, but it was wet, squishy, dark, and he was inside of another living creature. He came twenty seconds after he started masturbating, and came a few more times after that. Finally he lay, panting, and soon enough so did Raryanchankah. Eventually, Raryanchankah sent <Are you ready to come out yet, or would you like to stay in there a while longer?>
 
"I think I'd like to come out," said Jeremy. "There's still more we can try, right?" Raryanchankah grinned. The anal vore had opened Jeremy's mind a little. He pushed Jeremy out and Jeremy lay catching his breath on the ground. The anus had been open enough that he hadn't run out of air, but there wasn't enough in there.
 
<Where would you like to go next?> asked Raryanchankah, eager for more.
 
<Well... I know I can't go inside, but maybe I could straddle your cock?" Raryanchankah nodded, and as Jeremy rubbed the dragon's balls, it occurred to him that he could suggest cock vore and the dragon would likely be all for it now.
 
The dragon's erect shaft came out and Jeremy, still over eight feet tall from the dragon's spell, grabbed the glistening member with his arms and legs. It smelled heavily of exotic musk, and he began licking the head, hardly able to stop himself.
 
The dragon came soon, and the cum tasted alien too, slightly sweet but otherwise undefinable. The only description that came into Jeremy's head was, bizarrely, robin's-egg blue fading into colourless.
 
<Did you enjoy that as much as I did?> said Roryanchankah, producing a deep rumbling within his throat.
 
"Twice as much," said Jeremy, earning more laughter from Roryanchankah.
 
<You know, most dragons are two-sexed,> said Roryanchankah. <I am predominantly male, but I could always unbirth you.>
 
"You can?" said Jeremy. "That would be awesome. But... I'm still covered in shit."
 
<Here,> said Roryanchankah, touching his lips to the crown of Jeremy's head. He shrank back to normal size, but the shit remained suspended where it had been when Jeremy had been bigger. Roryanchankah moved the shit to a far corner of the cavern.
 
"Cool," said Jeremy as Roryanchankah spread his legs. Sure enough there were two holes, and Jeremy opted for the one he hadn't explored yet, It was soft and wet, already drooling with Roryanchankah's anticipation. This time Jeremy stuck his head in first, earning a primal shudder from Roryanchankah.
 
The interior was wet and smelled more heavily of that musk, so much so that Jeremy abandoned all rational thought and scrambled inside, pumping against the inner walls. Roryanchankah roared with approval as he began to cum, the sweet liquid filling his vagina. It tasted almost exactly like Roryanchankah's dick's cum.
 
The dragon kept pulling Jeremy in deeper, and deeper, until Jeremy squeezed into the womb, where three others were held, all in orgasmic thrall. Jeremy joined them in the liquid-filled pleasure center, satisfied on all possible levels.
 
Outside, Roryanchankah pushed a hidden button to let Johnny know he was ready for the next client. He would have to thank Johnny for this idea - giving himself female genitals and unbirthing clients who would otherwise chew up all his time. As he waited for the next client, he pushed one of the earlier clients out into the vagina and let him writhe for a bit before pushing him back in. He toned down the musk inside a bit so that the three clients could get some rest and enjoy his newly-created womb.