Posted by nephilim 12 years ago Report

What a wonderful gem to come across.

Denizens of Eka, take note. This - is a story. And it is how they should be written. There is the proper blend of character-development, realistic and natural dialogue, and well-crafted sentences. A universe with a structure; a universe with promise.

To be honest, when I read the first paragraph I was afraid that it would be another contrived angels/demons battle royale, but the voice in your writing caught my eye.

And I felt compelled to continue.

Shin, I like your narrative very much. And I adore Jeremy. You have a gift, a gift to create organic, believable characters through "movement" and "behavior." You are also very clever, and creative with how you move the reader through a scene.

Your vocabulary and word-choice is spot-on, and your tone is already becoming familiar to me. You are comfortable and talented with your descriptors too. There's a sense of action in this exposition piece.

And if someone slid a written piece of work in front of me and asked "who wrote this?" I could say definitely that it came from you.

I was rather impressed and taken by the lasagna scene. (What a nice treat (; )

Oh, and I won't talk about the reveal here, but, suffice to say I enjoyed it.

I am a fan. (:

- Nepphie

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Posted by Shinseikyouto 12 years ago Report

o////o T-Thank you very much~ You have no idea how much this means to me! I'm really, really glad you enjoyed it! I've actually been working on this idea for quite a long time which is probably why it seems so fleshed out. Thanks for complimenting my writing style too. I've been worried lately, since I haven't been writing as much due to work, that I was starting to lose my edge, but that appears to not be the case. :)

I hope you like the next part just as much.

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