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Death in Dustwallow Marsh By Ethereal -- Report

Uploaded: 12 years ago

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A gnome's gadget misfires, shrinking her and putting her in danger from the local wildlife.

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Negator

Posted by Negator 12 years ago Report

You know, the awesome thing about seeing this story here, is I loved this story when I first saw it on another forum, always came back to it, and within the last week went back to it again.


And now it's here, yay. :)



I really loved the struggle with this scene, as well as how tenacious the frog is. :P

Cruich

Posted by Cruich 12 years ago Report

Not clear why she fell unconscious anyway despite drinking a healing potion.

Use of the word "it's" as a possessive throughout is incorrect. Needs to be "its".

I liked the description of the eating process with the frog.

I liked the character of Pixi, here (though her name appears as "pixel" once in the story as well), and I thought she was a good portrayal of a gnome.

Ethereal

Posted by Ethereal 11 years ago Report

These problems and some spelling errors have been fixed.

My take on the healing potion was that she was going to die by blood loss, and while it helped somewhat it was not enough by itself to prevent her losing consciousness.

Ethereal

Posted by Ethereal 12 years ago Report

I have more grammar errors than that!