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Jessica, a keep to herself, hide her face type of girl, gets invited to a pool party by the most popular girl in school...but why?
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Posted by kirby3219 11 years ago Report
this has no unbirth in it, so the unbirth tag should be deleted.
Posted by stressformurder 11 years ago Report
Hmph...kinda thought that people being shoved and sucked into a vagina was Unbirthing...so what would I add as a tag for when Luna sucked the girl up her vagina then?
Posted by kirby3219 11 years ago Report
Insertion. unbirth goes tot he womb, not just the vagina.
Posted by stressformurder 11 years ago Report
She did go into her womb...it was stated in the story. But Luna pushed her out when she had an orgasm. It was temporary, but still there.
Posted by threk 11 years ago Report
Was that all one girl? Kinda confusing about where she was, it sounded like she got sucked into multiple orifices without ever coming back out again.
Posted by stressformurder 11 years ago Report
Luna swallowed, unbirthed, and Anal Vored the first girl. Jessica, the girl that was hiding in the closet, then got caught. But I did describe how Luna swallowed the first girl, then as she was spitting her out, Luna's Vagina grabbed her and started sucked her in, then she got released when Luna had the orgasm. Then Luna picked her up by her feet, placed them between her as cheeks, and began sucking her in. Was I not elaborate enough or something?
Posted by threk 11 years ago Report
Ah right, I think I just got confused in between spitting her out again and unbirthing her.
Posted by stressformurder 11 years ago Report
Should some changes be made anywhere? I want this story to be an easy, smooth read ya know?
Posted by threk 11 years ago Report
Probably a quick spelling/grammar-check, and perhaps do a general elaboration of transitions like the AV to OV to UB bit, because they felt a bit rushed, hence why I got confused with whereabouts the prey was.
Posted by stressformurder 11 years ago Report
Got ya!!! I'll be sure to keep that in mind, since this story has already gotten so much attention, I think I should just leave it be. But I'm keeping your advice for next time though. Did you at LEAST enjoy the story?
Posted by IronJager 7 years ago Report
This is just amazing. Are you ever going to write again?