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Ben devours his family By vaatidorf6000 -- Report

Uploaded: 11 years ago

Views: 11,870

File size: 16.46 KiB

MIME Type: application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document

Comments: 6

Favorites: 58

A sequel to "May and Ben", Ben unknowingly has his mother for breakfast as a joke on their part. What happens when he finds out and gets his friend involved?

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dickraymond

Posted by dickraymond 11 years ago Report

This is actually very good! You should definitely keep this story going!

vaatidorf6000

Posted by vaatidorf6000 11 years ago Report

Thank you.

dickraymond

Posted by dickraymond 11 years ago Report

Ben definitely needs to eat more people. Maybe he's in a club or sports team he can snack on?

vaatidorf6000

Posted by vaatidorf6000 11 years ago Report

Hmm...that sounds like a good idea.

dickraymond

Posted by dickraymond 11 years ago Report

If I could impart any lessons, though, it's that you aren't nearly detailed enough in writing the actual vore. Take more time, describe more of the process, use descriptive language and imagery. Paint a word picture, if you will.

crushxtreame

Posted by crushxtreame 8 years ago Report

this really needs a sequel dude