Uploaded: 11 years ago
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First story! Probably not very sexy... writing is hard >.<
Myrina belongs to her player
Tira belongs to Tayra
Zee belongs to PMP
Gabbi belongs to me
Will and the rest are random
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Posted by Littledude 11 years ago Report
A labyrinth full of vore is a great concept. Would love to see more.
Posted by nysmnyd 11 years ago Report
before having read it. ermehgerd text wall! if you're going to continue writing, make sure to break it up properly, you've paragraphed which is a start, but said paragraphs are huge and unruly because you've made it one continuous line regardless of context, when introducing speech, it begins on it's own line with a gap between the last piece of text and the piece proceeding it.
Posted by Ishimaru 11 years ago Report
Good job on the story however friendly tip which isnt mean to make you feel bad or anything. Break it up a little more. A good idea to get a understanding is check out others stories or pick up a book and see how they do it. :3 again not to be an attack or anything just a friendly advice :D
Posted by shadow17 11 years ago Report
So where they sucked into the stomachs through the ass or just given new homes in their ass? Hehe ;3
Posted by Ryu8 11 years ago Report
Myrina usually isn't that... mean. o.o Or mouthy. Still, ending in mouse butt. Yay!
Posted by Jnfly 11 years ago Report
I loved and, the story is pretty good but a female mouse pred at the end ?!?!?! made my night <3 <3 will love to read more of Gabbi <3