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Tom and Lynette’s story comes to a conclusion with secrets being revealed that put events in a different light. Can anyone stop Tom from being his flirty, big mother-in-law’s meal or is third time really the charm?
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Posted by RisingMoon336 11 years ago Report
There is no death painful enough for these whores. I would tear her eyes out with a plastic spork with an honest to god smile on my face. Her and that weak, piece of shit wife. I would bind twenty sharpened penicils together, put the points in her mouth and punch the erasers. I would drag her and Tom's wife's hides out to the streets. Make them bite the curb and jump on their heads like I was fucking Mario doing a speed run of world one, chain her and her daughter's hands up the car bumper, set it in neutral and let them be dragged down the street so every stray dog can chew on their asses until, letting them choke on their own blood and shattered teeth until they stopped squirming. I would force them both to drink pure Lye so they would know what it feels like to melt from the inside out over the course of five hours, and give them adrenaline injections so neither of them could go into shock. I would skin his wife to make a her the door mat she really is and her mother's face would become my toilet seat cover!!!!!!!
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In short. I don't like these two. Tom deserved better
Posted by Chaos 11 years ago Report
So I'm guessing you didn't like the story?
Posted by RisingMoon336 11 years ago Report
Not the story. Just these two horrible human beings. The story has a nice structure. You have an excellent grasp of both grammar and punctuation. It was well worded and you are quite descriptive. The story itself was fine. The two bitches in it that I would force their arms into the garbage disposal before turning it on however, I did not enjoy. As I said before. Tom deserved better. I just really get upset when good people have to suffer because of horrible people. But again, the story was very well done.
Posted by Chaos 11 years ago Report
Thank you for the compliments, I really wanted this story to come out well and it might surprise you but I hate seeing good people suffer too because of horrible people. I wrote this trying to show that people can be cruel and uncaring by following their nature. Naomi is too weak to stand up for herself so Tom suffers. Lynette wants Tom to be a part of her in some desperate last ditch move to be together with him. They aren't trying to be cruel to him, they both love him, which gives this story a rather darker tone in my opinion.
Posted by NekoChanBerri 11 years ago Report
This being my first, actual feedback post, i felt compelled to speak up. I'm usually too shy for this sort of thing...but i loved this series. The ending, the almost poetic determination to seek closure made Lynette an amazing character to visualise.
Great work hun, i can't wait to see your future works. ^-^
Posted by Chaos 11 years ago Report
Thanks a lot, I know how hard it can be to speak up, but every comment I get gives me fresh motivation. One thing I don't often see in vore is closure. For either the prey or the pred.
Posted by Camlio420 11 years ago Report
Honestly... this story sickened me. It made me feel horrible as honestly I had hoped that at least that the daughter would have the courage to do something for the mother of her child because honestly I doubt that this will go without the child's notice.
Honestly if this doesn't have some kind of eplioge where the child brings up this question and the mother gets killed by her daughter for this ridiculous bullshit I'll be sorely dissapointed.
Posted by Camlio420 11 years ago Report
At the very least an Epilogue that shows just HOW FUCKED UP THIS THOUGHT PROCESS IS by showing that by killing her son-in-law all she's brought to her daughter was pain and sadness.
Posted by Chaos 11 years ago Report
I do have an epilogue in my head, but it's so dark and soul crushing that I don't think anyone would like it, especially you.
I understand why you feel the way you feel, but this story was never meant to have a happy ending.
If you like, imagine Lynette ended having a heart attack later that night and died in agony ;)
Posted by Camlio420 11 years ago Report
Honestly the only way I could see this getting darker is that if The daughter kills herself and her son to spite her mother, I'd read that because it's also a decent way of closing out the story.
Posted by Straxacore 11 years ago Report
I liked the story. I took it for what it was. a vore story. :) It was very enjoyable and I still love the pred.
Posted by Chaos 11 years ago Report
Thanks. Lynette is a special kind of pred, she does everything for a reason that makes sense in her own head. I can understand people finding her horrific, but I think of her as complex. She's like an onion, she has layers and will make you cry.
Posted by Straxacore 11 years ago Report
Well I feel I should point out to those that find her horrific that on this site half the population kill the other half in ways that are very similar to this. the preds in my stories don't put nearly as much thought into turning someone into butt fat. She is a great pred and I would love to see her again sometime, maybe less constrained by morality, after all she still has herbs and she ha shown she can eat people and likes the taste. Who's to say she would stop now? ^_^
Posted by Straxacore 11 years ago Report
Also I would love to see a super dark epilogue ^_^ just incase you wondered
Posted by dedslave 10 years ago Report
Personally, I really enjoyed the story. I like the stories that bring out people's darker sides when presented with the opportunity to dominate something smaller than them. I think this story was well written and had a unique plot. I loved how Lynette was a BBW since this really tied into the image of her greed.
Posted by BattleDragon13 8 years ago Report
Hmm I was going to say the same thing as https://aryion.com/g4/user/RisingMoon336 but it doesn't need to be said again so why not make a alternate ending?
Posted by BattleDragon13 8 years ago Report
I loved your story thought to thought but I wish the ending was a little different.
Posted by rzq1 5 years ago Report
I know I'm super late but I just read this. Before I say anything else this was a super good story. Incredibly well written. I personally found it both arousing and horrifying on a very deep level.
My own mother was a bit of a manipulating, abusive sociopath and I see a lot of her in this character.
The idea of being killed by someone so selfish and manipulative while the one who cared most about me did nothing just kills me inside.
Posted by Chaos 5 years ago Report
All reviews are appreciated no matter when they come :3
Lynette was a really fun character to write from how utterly cruel she is while not thinking she is being truly malicious at all. The ending really was pretty depressing now that I reread it after a few years. Glad you enjoyed the depravity.
Posted by momos 4 years ago Report
451/5000
Hello Chaos ... My name is Péricles ... I am Brazilian and I loved your story ... It is so cruel ... So humiliating and ... Well Netorare (NTR)! Could you tell me what the epilogue of this story is like, it doesn't matter if it will slaughter my soul, you could just write as it is here in the comments, I'm curious ... Please.
Aliais ... I also write very cruel stories ... Would you like to see it? I'll leave it here for you to take a look ... It's also very NTR:
https://aryion.com/g4/view/564910