No clothes allowed rule? *Checks model specs* (lets see... clothing... clothing... Ah! ...Nanoflex Body Armor.... can withstand yada-yada-yada... made of blah-blah-blah... Can deteriorate and reassemble upon wearer's whim... YES!)
Ok, with that out of the way, I (might just be me) feel that there's not enough of the following:
Action
Though I do feel there's plenty of:
Affection
Kissing (some may say overload)
Ages 18+ Material
Then again, it may just be me :P
(P.S. First portion of comment referes to Var and Xeru. If I'm making God-Teir Cybernetic Homunculus, they gotta have crazy, made up, sci-fi type weapons and armor)
hehe. I think it was somethign they just made up on the spot actually.
your idea of including more action scenes/parts/sequences here and there are noted.
what kind of action sequences woudl you be interesed in. I mean, I am aiming to learn how to write action parts too..
so far I could consider:
getting hailed by a bigger battle cruiser from one of the big bad races.
somoene friendly/not so friendly appearing onboard the ship.
a sparring match between a few of the more aggresive ones I got.
and last. I did write this chapter after a few month's break from writing and I'm tryign to remember the plotlines I was building up.
I was thinking slowly add a few 'fight scenes' in at a time, building it up until the 'final battle' scenario, but I'm feeling that if so, there needs to be more blood.... MORE ENEMY BLOOD! I'm definitely not gonna force you to 'kill off' anyone, just go with a one-sided, blitzkreig type thing if you like. I just feel that the whole <person> was killed <add drama here> thing is just meh when it comes to large groups. If this was focused on more a small group, then yeah, kill someone. But Nay I say! We don't need that commonplace script scenario, we need a plotline with no set goal, we need chaos. Let's face it, the difference between Order and Chaos is that Chaos is fair. (no pun intended)
Well... smashing robots can be a lot of fun.. *shoves metallic scrapes behind corner* Even more so with a hammer... *throws sledgehammer into a dumpster* especially when they explode... *stands still as a loud bang and bright flash emerge from the nearby alley* ....what?
Oh yeah, while on the topic of robots, I imagined, personality wise, Var and Xeru (pronounced zero) behaving much the stereotypical 'cold, emitionless machine' at first before slowly warming up to the others. It makes sense since one (Var) essential decimated her homeworld (though very much so unintentionally), and the other (Xeru) having never encountered a living soul (being in a cold 'sleep mode' for some time)
Posted by TheGleamEyes 11 years ago Report
No clothes allowed rule? *Checks model specs* (lets see... clothing... clothing... Ah! ...Nanoflex Body Armor.... can withstand yada-yada-yada... made of blah-blah-blah... Can deteriorate and reassemble upon wearer's whim... YES!)
Ok, with that out of the way, I (might just be me) feel that there's not enough of the following:
Action
Though I do feel there's plenty of:
Affection
Kissing (some may say overload)
Ages 18+ Material
Then again, it may just be me :P
(P.S. First portion of comment referes to Var and Xeru. If I'm making God-Teir Cybernetic Homunculus, they gotta have crazy, made up, sci-fi type weapons and armor)
Posted by Fairlyn 11 years ago Report
hehe. I think it was somethign they just made up on the spot actually.
your idea of including more action scenes/parts/sequences here and there are noted.
what kind of action sequences woudl you be interesed in. I mean, I am aiming to learn how to write action parts too..
so far I could consider:
getting hailed by a bigger battle cruiser from one of the big bad races.
somoene friendly/not so friendly appearing onboard the ship.
a sparring match between a few of the more aggresive ones I got.
and last. I did write this chapter after a few month's break from writing and I'm tryign to remember the plotlines I was building up.
Posted by TheGleamEyes 11 years ago Report
I was thinking slowly add a few 'fight scenes' in at a time, building it up until the 'final battle' scenario, but I'm feeling that if so, there needs to be more blood.... MORE ENEMY BLOOD! I'm definitely not gonna force you to 'kill off' anyone, just go with a one-sided, blitzkreig type thing if you like. I just feel that the whole <person> was killed <add drama here> thing is just meh when it comes to large groups. If this was focused on more a small group, then yeah, kill someone. But Nay I say! We don't need that commonplace script scenario, we need a plotline with no set goal, we need chaos. Let's face it, the difference between Order and Chaos is that Chaos is fair. (no pun intended)
Posted by Fairlyn 11 years ago Report
yeah, I'll try to add a few action and fight scenes here and there.
I just don't want too much violence and blood for personal reasons.
Posted by TheGleamEyes 11 years ago Report
Understandable. With some it works, with others it doesn't... .....and some people just love smashin robots
Posted by Fairlyn 11 years ago Report
yeah, I love smashing robots. and thanks for understanding.
Posted by TheGleamEyes 11 years ago Report
Well... smashing robots can be a lot of fun.. *shoves metallic scrapes behind corner* Even more so with a hammer... *throws sledgehammer into a dumpster* especially when they explode... *stands still as a loud bang and bright flash emerge from the nearby alley* ....what?
Posted by Fairlyn 11 years ago Report
and they're 'easy' to repair afterwards. Depending on hoiw much fun you had pulling them apart.
Posted by TheGleamEyes 11 years ago Report
Oh yeah, while on the topic of robots, I imagined, personality wise, Var and Xeru (pronounced zero) behaving much the stereotypical 'cold, emitionless machine' at first before slowly warming up to the others. It makes sense since one (Var) essential decimated her homeworld (though very much so unintentionally), and the other (Xeru) having never encountered a living soul (being in a cold 'sleep mode' for some time)
Posted by Fairlyn 11 years ago Report
oh yeah, sounds good to me, actually.