the first thing they teach you about first person perspective, is to not put in so many Is, it makes it sound very amateur and breaks any semblance of submersion.
I never claimed to be a professional so the fact that I do my best is what matters. Yeah my grammer may suck and I may make mistakes but I write for fun not to appease a grammar nazi.
you're taking this too personally, you shouldn't react to critique like that.
Regardless if you're writing for fun, professional or amateur, as soon as you reveal it to the public eye you will be under scrutiny and critique, this is fact.
the segment below is the first paragraph of this story rewritten.
"I sighed as he walked into work. My job, which was once fulfilling and enjoyable, is now dull and lifeless. Sighing again while scratching at my pointy ears and sitting back at my desk. My tail wagged lazily out of boredom. As I typed out my report for that day, the third sigh appeared. "You need a vacation Royce." My friend and co-worker Ami the Micro cat told me. She had sleek black fur and green eyes."
It's not the best ever but (no offense intended) what is there isn't the best either.
Posted by nysmnyd 10 years ago Report
too many Is, way too many Is.
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Posted by ElviraTepes 10 years ago Report
it's written in first person. There is bound to be a ton of Is.
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Posted by nysmnyd 10 years ago Report
the first thing they teach you about first person perspective, is to not put in so many Is, it makes it sound very amateur and breaks any semblance of submersion.
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Posted by ElviraTepes 10 years ago Report
I never claimed to be a professional so the fact that I do my best is what matters. Yeah my grammer may suck and I may make mistakes but I write for fun not to appease a grammar nazi.
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Posted by nysmnyd 10 years ago Report
you're taking this too personally, you shouldn't react to critique like that.
Regardless if you're writing for fun, professional or amateur, as soon as you reveal it to the public eye you will be under scrutiny and critique, this is fact.
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Posted by ElviraTepes 10 years ago Report
ok. But how can a person prevent putting so many Is if in first person.
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Posted by nysmnyd 10 years ago Report
the segment below is the first paragraph of this story rewritten.
"I sighed as he walked into work. My job, which was once fulfilling and enjoyable, is now dull and lifeless. Sighing again while scratching at my pointy ears and sitting back at my desk. My tail wagged lazily out of boredom. As I typed out my report for that day, the third sigh appeared. "You need a vacation Royce." My friend and co-worker Ami the Micro cat told me. She had sleek black fur and green eyes."
It's not the best ever but (no offense intended) what is there isn't the best either.
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Posted by W4RR3N 6 years ago Report
Have I ever mentioned how much I love your work?
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Posted by ElviraTepes 6 years ago Report
Awww thanks
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