Posted by hentaiaiai 9 years ago Report

being someone that almost failed every writing assignment in school, that makes me happy to hear thank you

Posted by hentaiaiai 9 years ago Report

haha well again thanks :3

Posted by acrylic 9 years ago Report

Personally I hope to read this story rewritten in unwilling(prey) version.
Anyway this is a nice story hentai senpai!

Posted by hentaiaiai 9 years ago Report

well im not that big on unwilling prey outside of roleplays but thankies... also... senpai has noticed you

Posted by Uryx 9 years ago Report

I liked it, the simplicity made it easy to read and easy to follow, and it had good focus on what was important to convey in the story.

That said, I found myself wanting more, not a continuation into later in their lives, but more detail, a greater exploration in the depth of their feelings for one another, a slower and more passionate love-making between the two full of sensuality and meaning, just more in general.

This isn't to discourage you at all, just a little bit of feedback that might help you become a better writer.

This isn't the critique part and it's probably best that you left it out, but I found my mind hooked on the idea of what it might have been like for Lucina to slowly, over time, regain the memories of a past life that, unlike her current presumably happy and comfortable life, was full of strife and heartbreak. Regaining somewhere in her teens the memory of battle after exhausting, heart-wrenching battle in which people died in the most gruesome of ways. Do you think she ever woke up crying, having dreamed about her past life, and went to Palutena's bed to sleep in the comfort of her "mother's" embrace?

Just something I was thinking almost the moment Palutena informed Lucina that she would regain her memories over time.

Posted by hentaiaiai 9 years ago Report

you made me cry not the bad way but because i did think of doing that with her growing up and regaining memories, but i just couldnt figure out how to convey it in the story, i was thinking that her first memory would be of Palutena telling her about her regaining her memories as she grew older

Posted by Yurilover 9 years ago Report

Sexy yet cute little story.Can you give me a higher resolution of the thumbnail you've used? If you used someone else's art can you link it? Even if you can't do either of those, even a reply is appreciated.

Posted by hentaiaiai 9 years ago Report

go to gelbooru and type palutena yuri into the search bar and it should be there, if not then it was removed