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Samus is a very warm hearted woman, one way you can tell is that she loves children but never gets the opportunity to have them herself. Here she obtains female Villager as her girlfriend and has a lot of fun in the process.
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Posted by Uryx 9 years ago Report
As always, it could use more fleshing out, and possibly a deeper look into the characters themselves. As it is, they don't feel very "real" simply because they just go right into these things without a second thought rather than actually developing some sort of relationship first and easing into it.
I mean, to be fair, that prelude is rather boring and I often skip it anyway, but the cool thing about writing is that you don't have to actually show so much as imply. Maybe Samus and the Villager were forming something of a relationship over a long period, though while Samus harbored secret feelings of lust, the Villager secretly wanted something more maternal from the other woman.
Maybe an accident brings their respective secrets to light, and neither wants to stop, suddenly their relationship has gone to a level neither expected but both are ok with!
Anyway, sorry I got a little carried away there. As always, your stories are simple and enjoyable, and often get right to the good stuff, which I appreciate for that, so you don't really need to take my criticism to heart, just something I was thinking about <3
Posted by hentaiaiai 9 years ago Report
im fine with criticism, i write in the style of a narrative, which my english professor said that my narrative style was like that of mark twain
Posted by humanhouse 9 years ago Report
would love to see more of this.
Posted by hentaiaiai 9 years ago Report
thankies, im thinking of a story that uses my characters
Posted by hentaiaiai 9 years ago Report
if you look at the icon photo, im basing it off that artwork
Posted by DragonslayerFire55 8 years ago Report
Have you ever thought of making a sequel to this, like the "unbirthing" chapter?
Posted by hentaiaiai 8 years ago Report
hehe i might just do that, who knows, that sounds like a good idea that i had already done similarly with Palutena and Lucina in another story
Posted by Broniele97 5 years ago Report
Absolutely fantastic story! There is a sequel?