Spring is a Bear
 
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Every single one of Jeff's friends had begged off, citing everything from some family gathering to a big party or spring allergies, leaving him all alone for the big camping trip he was planning. It was perfect! The great outdoors with all his best friends, but despite inviting practically everyone he knew, which, unfortunately wasn't so many people, he received a host of rejections and excuses.
 
His best friends were at least sincere, but others were transparently not interested. A healthy, virile man only a year out of school, at five foot and 8.9 inches (175cm) tall, he felt that some time in the Pacific Northwestern wilderness would do much good shaping him into the sort of man no female could resist, and what better way to become the rugged, studly sort than confronting nature itself.
 
Truth was, it had already been a year and he was no closer to finding a decent job while most of his friends found something to do with themselves, leaving Jeff floundering for something to do besides mooching from his parents, his grandparents, his auntie and uncle, and other extended relatives until he wore out his welcome. Not wanting to be a burden, and with few skills that were in marketable demand with this wretched economy, a few odd jobs and 'round-the-home help had earned him enough to purchase some needed equipment, and now, with all he thought he needed packed on his back, he had started his trek two weeks earlier.
 
Hitchhiking with people, from friendly and conversational to outright creepy, he had made his way hundreds of miles to the north and east to where he was to begin his true test! More than a week of marching through coniferous forests, fording frigid streams and climbing over treacherous mountains, Jeff finally decided he was far enough from civilization and it was time to make camp for at least the rest of the spring time.
 
Having gotten rather good at pitching his small tent, with supplies safely stowed inside, he went to the nearby stream to wash both himself and his sturdy clothing and perhaps enjoy some carefree time in the water before finding a sure supply of food; after all, he had eaten the last of his carefully rationed supply this morning and he was starting to get hungry. Every living thing needed to eat.
 
- - -
 
Meanwhile, waking up slowly, ever so slowly, the pangs of hunger were one of the few forces that could rouse anything from sleep so urgently. Nature had given her body the curious ability to conserve moisture and eliminated the need to relieve herself during the long months that she slept, but hunger would not, could not be ignored; not any longer.
 
Clumsy, groggy, muzzy, brain barely working, she turned and clambered out of the base of the tree where she had slept away the severe winter months. Bumping her big head more than once, she regretted having chosen this place because it was so difficult an egress. Not that it was a terribly small tree, it wasn't, it was simply that she was such a massive bear.
 
The last two late summer and fall seasons has been extraordinarily kind to her, offering a never-ending supply of salmon to gorge herself on, and as a result of her superb hunting acumen and the unusual ability to devour the big fish whole, she had grown to outlandish proportions, to the extreme that she intimidated even her typically much larger male suitors; having scared them away, she hadn't mated for the two years past, and with no cubs to nurture and feed, she had grown much larger for it. The fish, both a blessing and a curse, meant only one thing to her... food, and at the moment, food was the one thing she cared for.
 
Stumbling her cloddish way to the river, she reviewed the simple routine for feeding herself: remain still facing upriver until a fish swam too close, reach with both arms to scare the fish, catch it in her mouth when it panicked and turned downstream to flee, pull it out of the water and shove it head-first down her throat. At first, the rapid feeding she had learned hurt tremendously, but as she continued, she had grown accustomed to the odd technique, and even the largest fish had become little more than quick meals to fill her ever-hungry belly. She was hungry again, and fish were the perfect solution to this problem.
 
Something was wrong about, it, but still sleepy, she put the nagging doubt from her simple mind. With a misstep and a face-first plunge into the icy water, she found herself already at the river. Growling at herself and the strangely cold water, she took a deep breath, ducked under the clear, frigid liquid and watched.
 
- - -
 
With only one bare foot in the water, Jeff instantly decided against swimming for pleasure; the waters were frigid! Washing his clothing first, hoping that he could get acclimated to the water's bitterly cold temperature, he left his outfit, from shirt to trousers and undershorts, on a rock near the shore to dry in the warm spring sunshine.
 
With much trepidation, prompted by the grungy feeling of more than a week worth of travel and exertion, Jeff threw himself into the icy cold water, but immediately sprang out! Shouting at the pain, it was simply too cold to bathe in! Wiping the frigid liquid from his eyes, the water in his ears vibrated, making him feel immensely powerful in his anger at nature's inconsiderate ways. At least he was that much cleaner for the short dunk, but with more than a week of dirt, it would take more than a simple splash to clear away the dirt and sweat.
 
Pure, clean mountain water it may be, but melted snow would require he find a way to warm it to use for cleansing. The sun was pleasant, quickly warming his prickled skin, and Jeff decided to look for an edible fish in the crystal clear river.
 
- - -
 
Jeff was not the only one looking for food, but with sparse choices among the small fish that wintered here or migrated immediately after the thaw, something fast and small was difficult to catch, and the big thing in the water upstream seemed the obvious choice. Seeing unusual movement in the incomparably clear water, even at distance, her primitive brain was at odds, a foggy doubt insisting that something was different and scary, even as the impetus of hunger told her to move closer without scaring it away.
 
With only two feet in the water, stepping about, it was too small to be another bear, and that meant it had to be food. She crept closer, keeping her head under the water to keep watch on the strange fish-bear thing. Her head was getting cold, and it was starting to hurt, but she was almost close enough to chase down the walking bear-fish thing.
 
Deer walked and deer were food, and she was able to find that one last fawn as she was getting sleepy, cramming it whole down her throat. Snow and ice were cold and the small deer had been a very nice, very warm last meal before the light disappeared and she needed to rest. Deer were fast. Too fast. Better she catch this fish-bear thing.
 
- - -
 
Casting about for salmor or trout, his ankles aching from the cold, what few fish he could find were tiny and startling fast! Jeff had always heard stories about how abundant salmon were in this area, but apparently, this was not the time for them. Maybe there was some salmon eggs he could find.
 
At first, Jeff laughed at the paradox, were he able to to find the roe, here he would be in the wilderness, far away from civilization, starving hungry with no food except something akin to caviar. Moving to a shallow rise in the middle of the stream, he brushed about in the loose rock, hoping to find the buried fish eggs he imagined would be there, but to his disappointment, there were none to be found. Worse, with his arms elbow-deep in the water as well, now his arms were aching from the cold, reminding him of how dreadfully frigid his feet were.
 
Having moved downstream with the flow of the water, he looked about for a place to rest while he warmed and dried off. Seeing a big dark rock nearby, he began to wade closer to it. When Jeff had noticed it earlier, it seemed much farther away, but having moved about much himself, he ignored the thought of the rock having moved closer until he realized that the rock was covered with fur!
 
Then he realized that it wasn't a rock, it was a bear! Taking a few backward steps away from the big "rock", Jeff turned and tried to hurry away without disturbing the water over much.
 
- - -
 
Deer were slow in the water, and this strange deer-fish was moving away, probably because it had seen her. With it running, she would get no closer, and she rose from the water to give chase! Charging thru the cold water the short distance at the bizarre fish-bear-deer creature, instead of dashing away, escaping with frustrating speed, the food-thing stopped and howled like a frightened cub!
 
Crashing into the fish-deer-bear thing, she grabbed it with her mouth and paws, plunging them both into the cold water! It battled to push her away, but since fish have no hooves and deer can't swim, the food-thing was the easiest catch of her life!
 
- - -
 
The water behind Jeff seemed to explode as an enormous bear rushed at him! He was barely able to get off a terrified cry for help before it tackled him, burying him in the icy cold water!
 
Inhaling a lung full of the frigid liquid, all that was left to him was trying to kick and punch the beast!
 
- - -
 
With a short neck, stuffing the animal's head into her unusually wide mouth was easy, but deer didn't have such a grand flare at their shoulders, and with it flailing about with it's forward legs, she nearly choked herself grabbing at and forcing the animal deeper into her mouth to prevent it from injuring her with it's hooves.
 
It was a terrible fight for a moment, but the animal was so misshapen and large that her mouth and throat were stretched considerably wider around this bizarre food-thing than any other she had tried to swallow before! Much to her pleasant surprise, she realized that the fish-deer was indeed striking her with it's forward feet, but without hooves, it could hardly harm something so big as she was.
 
Having jammed the food-thing up to its ribs in her mouth, she moved to the nearby shore to get out of the freezing water and leisurely finish this most unusual meal. It continued to struggle, trying to free itself from her grasp, occasionally threatening to pry itself free from her mouth, making her stop and reach out with her paws to pull it deeper inside. Once on dry ground, she considered the fleshy taste the the creature: almost completely without fur, but much like the small deer she had devoured, slick like a fish, but without the scratchy scales, it was a most pleasant sensation to have on her tongue. Without the speed, strength or hooves that made them such difficult prey, the only aspect of catching this fish-deer thing was that it kept fighting even after she had caught it and that its shape made it so difficult to swallow.
 
Free of the cold water, she sat down and found a place where she could put her paws to grab and pull this impotently combative animal into her mouth and beyond. Remembering to relax her neck muscles only helped a little, but it was enough to get the thing to slide in fits and stops deeper into her gullet; she could always spit the animal out and rip it apart to eat in smaller pieces, much as how she would eat the fish before she grew sufficiently to devour them whole, and more important, the way fish and that deer has wiggled and kicked and squirmed in her stomach satisfied a hunger for having something alive inside of her that only growing cubs sould satisfy; then again, once born, cubs could be such a bothersome nuisance at times, and when food stopped moving in her belly, there was naught but contentment to be had.
 
It stretched her to until it hurt, but with something this big, especially something that was so large and squirmed so well, it would fill and rub her tummy quite well if she could manage to get the food-thing inside without ripping it into smaller pieces; smaller pieces didn't move. Sliding ever so slowly down, she felt sure of herself once the soft part of its belly was in her mouth, ribcage wedged in her throat. It was still wrestling, as if the creature didn't know it was already beaten.
 
No matter, it tasted quite good, and while she rested, steadying herself for more swallowing, she could enjoy more of this strange food-thing. Licking the soft flesh of its belly, the creature struggled with a renewed vigor as though it were in pain; when she licked, it squirmed, but rested while she wasn't tasting it. Letting the food-thing stretch her throat when she licked the big flat soft surface below its ribs and then letting it rest while she rested her esophagus, this creature was proving itself a most amusing tool and toy.
 
Another pull with her paws to urge it along and more of the animal slid into her mouth until, with only the bulk of its legs still protruding from her mouth, it sank deeper until it emerged into her stomach. It was almost the end of the hunt, she could feel her goal so close! Stretching her neck forward over the food-thing and working her mouth, she lifted it upright so that it all but fell into the anxious chamber below; with slow, fitful progress, it was squeezed into her middle, filling her winter-starved belly with squirming meat. The long, inflexible legs stuck uncomfortably in her throat, but were of little concern as her terrible hunger was instantly sated. Breathing heavy, feeling full and letting sound a very satisfied moan-growl as she thoroughly enjoyed feeling such a big animal squishing about inside her, after a long moment sitting to do naught but love the sensation, she turned to get to her four feet, ambling drunkenly back to her lair for more of the delicious sleep that called so seductively to her.
 
As she gave the river one last glance before turning into the woods a short distance away to seek her favored resting spot, she would be most pleased when the big fish were back at the end of the season.
 
Oh! That's what was out of place: this food-thing wasn't a fish. Contented as she was, it didn't matter. Finding it even more difficult to squeeze into her den with such an overfilled belly, it continued to struggle and squirm long after she had curled up as best she could and had gone to sleep, dreaming happy dreams about more of these delightfully slow, tasty and wiggly fish-deer things.
 
 
TH