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Desolation By MPennanti -- Report

Uploaded: 8 years ago

Views: 2,898

File size: 17.51 KiB

MIME Type: application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document

Comments: 10

Favorites: 19

This is a story about depression, if depression was personified as a monster-girl who lives under your bed.

It's not really a sexy story, though there is vore and sexuality in it.

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Comments
deletn92b69g26

Posted by deletn92b69g26 8 years ago Report

...Damn. That was dark.
Not my bag per say, and I couldn't find something to like of it sexual wise, but I still liked it overall. Good work.

MPennanti

Posted by MPennanti 8 years ago Report

Yeah, I'm in the same boat. I almost didn't post it, but liked how it turned out well enough to toss it up with a caveat. I'll get back to your regularly scheduled erotica next week. ;)

Glaive

Posted by Glaive 8 years ago Report

I liked this story. It was rather deep. A nice spin on the psychological effects depression can have

mojo-2131285

Posted by mojo-2131285 8 years ago Report

Very well written and very sad.

MPennanti

Posted by MPennanti 8 years ago Report

Yes, very sad. I tried to have a hopeful message in that though it was too late for the protagonist, the reader can take his realization and do something about it. Everybody has demons, and we can only face them by being good to each other. <3

Kaoru

Posted by Kaoru 8 years ago Report

Thrilling and chilling. I hope some folks get your message.

Indighost

Posted by Indighost 8 years ago Report

I like the ambition of this story a lot, the idea of using vore to give a real life lesson. I get the moral of the story and it has some relevance to any internet nerds who usually frequent a website such as this one. However i wasnt fully sold on the story itself. What did the narrator like about the monster? Are we to understand that when the narrator masturbated that he was having sex with the monster? How did he die exactly?

I think that depression could be a little better represented if the monster girl was more welcoming and sexy in the way that depression can be a very comforting choice vs the challenges of the unfair real world.

MPennanti

Posted by MPennanti 8 years ago Report

Good points about depression being "comfortable", since that's what it is - a comfortable rut. Stasis.

I think part of the challenge of this story was choosing to make it first-person since you have a unreliable narrator. It originally was very ephemeral and dreamlike, which I tried to preserve.

I was a little torn though, since I didn't want the girl to represent a happy state, as there's a line between being okay being a loner and wanting to connect with people but choosing not to due to depression/anxiety. She comforted him, but she also isolated him and eventually killed him.

His demise was very stylized, but the scrape of her teeth at the end was the sound of the slide on a pistol, if that helps clear things up.

Indighost

Posted by Indighost 8 years ago Report

That scrape bit makes sense.