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Young Love and a Sandwich By SwallowMe -- Report

Uploaded: 8 years ago

Views: 5,146

File size: 72.84 KiB

MIME Type: application/rtf

Comments: 14

Favorites: 41

Nick, an 18 year old nerdy high school student, gets into a serious and genuine relationship with a cheerleader, Kristen, who is misunderstood by her mother. Her mother doesn't like Nick or like that he is around her daughter a lot. Then Nick, thinking Kristen's mother has come to accept him and his relationship with her daughter, goes to talk with her and ends up in a very life threatening situation that he didn't think was possible.

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Comments
Tsubasa17

Posted by Tsubasa17 8 years ago Report

Ok, we definitely need more with these two! Just finished reading it, we need more, maybe with different kinds of vore :3

SwallowMe

Posted by SwallowMe 8 years ago Report

Glad you liked it, but wow, considering when I posted it and when you posted your comment, that means you read a little over 12 page story in 7 minutes or less.

You are one speedy reader! :-)

Star_Sage

Posted by Star_Sage 8 years ago Report

Heh, very much relevant to my interests. Thank you for the nice read.

SwallowMe

Posted by SwallowMe 8 years ago Report

Thanks you for reading.

MisterEbony

Posted by MisterEbony 8 years ago Report

Love it!!!! But I have to ask this. Some guys in your stories in the past could reform after heing eaten. Would you consider a sequel where he unknowingly has this power (mainly to piss of Kristens mom even more since now she could notnoff him in ANY way!)

SwallowMe

Posted by SwallowMe 8 years ago Report

It's possible, if I end up coming back to it.

Sabrina

Posted by Sabrina 8 years ago Report

Dang! This is really well done. Im a sucker for a good shrinking story so this very much got my attention.

Your use of detail and everything is wonderful too! Really well done over all. A

Great job! :D

SwallowMe

Posted by SwallowMe 8 years ago Report

Happy you like it! Thanks for the compliments! I'm glad my large focus on detail pays off.

I always intend to make short short stories(maybe only a few pages long), but every time I tell myself that my stories just keep getting longer.

I guess the good writer in me is bashing back the bad writer saying something like, "Bad you, bad! Substance! More substance! Not that word again, use a different one!"

Sabrina

Posted by Sabrina 8 years ago Report

I realize I neglected to say a few things x.X

The interactions between Nick and Kristen were very well done. The fact that the story is longer makes it all the more believable. Plus it gives the scene where she eats him that much more meaning.

Short stories are nice, yes. Quick easy reads can be fun. But longer stories have their upsides as well. Just the extra detail gives everything so much more merit.

The scene with Rebecca teasing Nick and Rebecca about eating him was great. I found myself chuckling when Nick started to daydream about being eaten by her.

Sorry for the redundancy here. I just really enjoyed this story!

SwallowMe

Posted by SwallowMe 8 years ago Report

No problem, thanks for the input.

NigmaAndroid

Posted by NigmaAndroid 8 years ago Report

One of the best stories I have read involving vore yet. It was well written. It had lots of detail. Also there were lots of plot points. Even the ending was great. Im actually at work right now, but after reading that I just had to come back here and post about the rush of reading this. Terrific job dude!

SwallowMe

Posted by SwallowMe 8 years ago Report

Thank you, glad my writing could give such a rush.

Ratdogtwo

Posted by Ratdogtwo 7 years ago Report

Love It. Hope to See more.

Misterfur

Posted by Misterfur 6 years ago Report

One of my favorite at all time