Posted by innertrack 7 years ago Report

I don't know what's up with the formatting here. The viewing area insists on putting up a horizontal scroll bar and turning a paragraph into a single, scrollable line. My word processor (and any other) doesn't need hard returns to display text as separate lines. If a paragraph is longer than the horizontal width of the viewing area, it's normally forced into multiple lines, so that it fits horizontally without scrolling.

Posted by innertrack 7 years ago Report

I reloaded this in doc format instead of rtf. That did get rid of the horizontal scroll bar but gave up formatting entirely. I'll just live with it.

Posted by rugli 7 years ago Report

So hot :D

Posted by innertrack 7 years ago Report

Thanks!

Posted by rugli 7 years ago Report

So when'S Hannah getting eaten?

Posted by innertrack 7 years ago Report

I like to wait at least a couple of weeks before posting a sequel or another chapter.

Posted by rugli 5 years ago Report

Seems likes been couple of years now.

Posted by Jamie263 7 years ago Report

I look forward to the rest of it.

Posted by innertrack 7 years ago Report

Glad to hear it! I kind of know where I'm going with the finale - "Feeder Woman", but I'm not ready to give anything away just yet.

Posted by JustTroy 7 years ago Report

Lovely continuation, though I feel it was a bit lacking in dialogue. Hopefully the next part will have more. ^_^
7.5/10

Posted by innertrack 7 years ago Report

Glad you liked it - a little, anyway.

Sometimes I use dialog extensively in a story, but I see it as just one way to get the ideas across. I prefer to keep my options open, with dialog being just one of them.

Another option - a very important one to me, is what's going on in someone's mind. Narrative does a much better job of expressing that than dialog does. The finale will be similar in construction.

Posted by JustTroy 7 years ago Report

I'm a tough critic so 7.5 is better than it seems. :) I understand. Maybe it's a personal thing. With things involving Jimmy the giant frog I enjoy the conversations the zookeepers have througout the ordeal. The hesitation of the girl, yet her willingness to go through with it. At the end of this one I was hoping more for an "Oh my God I can't believe I'm signing this, what am I doing and why can't I stop myself?!" That sort of euphoric moment of surrender to one's lust and the freedom that comes with it.

Posted by innertrack 7 years ago Report

For the most part, htadoolb's original story "Hannah goes to the zoo" wasn't dialog heavy once they left the feeding area, and I adopted his introspective approach even if our styles differ.

But your last two sentences capture the spirit of what I've already written so far for "Hannah the Feeder Woman" uncannily well.

It starts with a section I call "Second Thoughts", which expresses serious doubts and a very determined change-of-heart, and is followed by a section called "Another Dream" which, driven by the subconscious mind, is the kind of cathartic epiphany expressed in your last sentence.

Posted by innertrack 7 years ago Report

Incidentally, if you like dialog-heavy stories and don't mind a talking frog, check out "Linda and the Frog" and other stories by Jack at http://jack3man.deviantart.com/

I'm a big fan of Jack.

Posted by JustTroy 7 years ago Report

I understand bud. I respect the amount of care you put into many of your stories. I've actually favorited quite a few of them. I'll definitely be looking forward to the next part and I'll be sure to check out Jack's work too. :)

Posted by JustTroy 7 years ago Report

Also, if you like things involving frogs and willing offerings you may want to give Samantha's Treat by Mrme181 a read. It's a little long but very good! Here's a link to it.
https://aryion.com/g4/view/178207

Posted by innertrack 7 years ago Report

I guess we have similar tastes. I'd downloaded that a while back and dropped in one of my stories folders. It's one of about six dozen stories that I keep there.

Posted by htabdoolb 7 years ago Report

Pretty good, innertrack. If you don't mind my feedback, I'd love to see some interaction between a conflicted, indecisive Hannah and a still conscious but beginning to digest Alicia.

example:

"What... What is it like, inside of Jimmy?" Hannah asked, hesitantly, as if she were afraid of the answer.

"I was a bit.. worried at.. first." Alicia murmured, her eyes drowsy and half lidded.

"But the longer.. I'm in here.. the more right.. it seems." she continued, her words faint and wheezy, due to the tight constriction of the giant frog's throat around her chest. "God, after the.. first half hour.. in here, I just.. couldn't stop.. masturbating."

"R-really?" Hannah asked, her mouth dropping open in surprise. "Are.. are you still, um, doing it?"

"No." Alicia answered, a bit of sadness creeping into her voice. "I can't feel.. my p-pussy anymore, or.. my fingers. I think.. I think they're m-melting.."

Hannah gasped at his, her imagination quickly showing her a vision of the girl's womanhood, slick with digestive fluid, slowly dissolving and melting away into the bottom of the giant frog's stomach.

Hannah felt her hands drift down towards her own suddenly quite damp cleft, beneath her short volunteer's shift, at the tide of images suddenly racing through her mind's eye. She pressed her legs together and moaned softly, her eyes locked on Alicia's face, the only part of the girl not within Jimmy's stomach, deep inside the frog's open mouth. She simply couldn't help it.

"God." she thought. "If only they hadn't decided to feed me to David."

--

Anyway, the key thing is to have fun writing these things. I know the process can be difficult, but seeing your own ideas take concrete form, and having others seem to enjoy them just as much as you do, is really rather rewarding. I'm looking forward to more of your story!

Posted by innertrack 7 years ago Report

I really like your ideas, but I've already written the first three pages of the sequel, so whatever I write has to fit with that. I'll PM you what I have so far. Keep in mind that it's subject to change. I'm always going back and reworking what I've written - correcting errors or omissions, getting an idea across better, etc.

Goliath the saltwater croc and David the Komodo dragon? I guess we know who's bigger. Actually, David already figures into what I've written so far. Hannah will get to see his test feeding. You know, like Rebecca's test feeding of Samson.

Posted by Slimshod 7 years ago Report

Found this story and the original over on gurochan and loved all 3 of them. Please keep writing more, you're doing a great follow up to htabdoolb.

Posted by Slimshod 7 years ago Report

Absolutely loved your work on over on guro and this little snippet is exciting. Hoping innertrack continues with their rendition. Awesome work!

Posted by BunnyWrites 5 years ago Report

I was a huge fan of the original PD image sequence, it ticked so many boxes for me. The submission, how quickly she was treated like merely an attraction, and the exhibitionist angle. I'm in love with the idea of we women as food <3

So thank you so much for continuing the series, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it a few times this past year. I hope Hannah gets to fulfill her fantasy some day~

Posted by Niror 3 years ago Report

Please, please, I need to read the rest, even if is an unfinished work.