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A commission I did for 
VenusMoonstone23, with Toffee and his boyfriend Gumdrop and his adopted daughter, Olivia. Having been harassed by a group of jerky bigots, Toffee and his family decide to get even. Toffee will take justice into own hands, and get delicious, sweet vengeance against them!
Posted by VenusMoonstone23 7 years ago Report
Beautiful, I love it!! Can't thank you enough!!
Posted by saintheartwing 7 years ago Report
My pleasure!
Posted by VenusMoonstone23 7 years ago Report
Can we start a new pm so we can discuss more story ideas? The next story i would love to see promises to be fun....
Posted by saintheartwing 7 years ago Report
By all means, send me your next idea!
Posted by charlesdeleroy 7 years ago Report
Yep, this hits every single stereotypical 'revenge fic' note. Not to mention lifting entire spoken lines DIRECTLY from the show, when Bufffrog and Moon were setting up the game. Nice plagiarism there. And of course this utterly ignores the OUTCOME of the game from the show, which was the most important part and the entire point of the interaction in the first place!
And from a writing standards viewpoint, it's a sloppy structure. No actual character introduction, no mention of what Toffee was doing there in the first place or how he got there, ignoring Toffee's own canon history as someone who took advantage of everyone and everything for his own self-serving gains... no history of how he suddenly changed to dislike prejudice when he had no issue at all using it himself for his own aims.
A tiny introduction to Olivia, with basically a two-paragraph infodump which reeks of the most blase descriptive, surface-level characterization.
And of course, bigotry is BAD, but murder is A-OK and of course the 'victim' is into it, typical idiotic revenge fic premise.
Frankly, I've seen lousy Pony fics which shove a guy in a Darth Vader mask into Equestria that are better put together. I'd even venture to say the "Conversion Bureau" is better-written... and I hate that story.
Posted by saintheartwing 7 years ago Report
Well, it IS a commission, it's about what the commissioner wants. Also, the repeating of lines was deliberate, I was trying to do a callback to make a point about bigotry. Also, comparing me to Darth Vulcan is a low blow, the guy doesn't understand the basics of politics whatsoever and he rewrote someone else's story entirely to be the complete opposite of what it was meant to be about.
Posted by saintheartwing 7 years ago Report
Furthermore, I've looked at some of your comments. You give a lot of MLP stuff a free pass even though it makes no sense the characters would act that way in THAT, but my work doesn't get any leeway? So OOC is fine when it's MLP, but not SVFOE? Look, if you are gonna complain, be consistent, and not a hypocrite. I won't stand for hypocrisy.
Posted by charlesdeleroy 7 years ago Report
The stories I like rewrite the entire world, they reshape the entire construction in such a way that it DOES make sense from that story's history of events. That's how an alt-universe should be made. I have also ripped apart viciously a HUGE number that simply make present-day changes without explaining or showing how those alternate things came into being.
Posted by KenwitheRogue 5 years ago Report
You do realize you've written content for someone whose political views probably fall on line with those they're targeting,albeit at the opposite end of the spectrum of insane? Whoever commissioned this story is one of those people who believe that anyone who vaguely disagrees with them is a "neo-nazi"
Posted by saintheartwing 5 years ago Report
No offense but if you’re actually trying to defend far right views, you can leave now. And not come back.
Posted by KenwitheRogue 5 years ago Report
Where did you get that implication? I literally said they were both bad.
Posted by KenwitheRogue 5 years ago Report
I hate anyone who disregards basic human rights.
Posted by saintheartwing 5 years ago Report
There’s not a single liberal in power that is trying to take away basic human rights. There are plenty of right wingers, conservatives in power doing just that. So explain to me who the real threat is?
Posted by KenwitheRogue 5 years ago Report
Let's see, the entire chinese government, AOC, Liz Warren, Ted "I wish i could enforce government censorship" Lieu, Antifa beating Jews and other minorities because they think that they are a part of the proud boys....
Posted by KenwitheRogue 5 years ago Report
North Korean govt...
Posted by saintheartwing 5 years ago Report
Yeah, the Chinese govt are real liberals what with their oppressive govt and lack of civil rights and no respect for various religions and no proper free speech, “communist” isn’t the same thing as liberal. Elizabeth Warren doesn’t want to take away free speech and neither does AOC, but if you actually think the North Korean government is liberal, you’re insane. It’s nothing like any of the European countries like Sweden, Denmark, France, Britain, or even the United States. All of those are more liberal than North Korea is.
And by the way, the people doing most of the attacks on Jews are right wingers. Right wing hate crimes have risen exponentially over the past few years. Have you not been paying attention? Not to mention the fact that antifa doesn’t hold any actual position of power. While the president has had literal white supremacists in his cabinet.
Posted by fatbelly 4 years ago Report
So this is a more political piece. Gay mix couple get bashed, they inturn exact revenge by killing off the people that protested them? True, they also hurled insults and I'm sure the scene was supposed to feel intemidating but I really didn't feel that. Still for the couple to go that far and to get their kid on it as well? I mean is that really a healthy way to teach the kids? " Now remember Olivia if anyone says something that hurts you stab them in neck." At least that is how I'm seeing this. I get the revenge primiss but for it to really work, the protesters need to do more than hold up signs and name call. If they attacked their home, them, and/or their friends? Then I could see the need to take it to the next level. But this story should have those things in it. It would get readers on the side of the family instead of seeing the holes. Keep working.