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Mikan's murder plan goes awry, but she ends up much more satisfied at the end.
This is my first work so critique is greatly appreciated!
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Posted by chaos12 6 years ago Report
Great job. I thought it was an interesting read. ^^
Posted by picadelio 6 years ago Report
Thank you very much!
Posted by chaos12 6 years ago Report
No problem. Keep up the good work. ^^
Posted by Scrapduke 6 years ago Report
Hey, that story was really great! Could’ve gone into more detail about the disposal, but that’s more my personal preference than anything else ^^;
Anyway, great story, and I’d love to commission something sometime if that’s an option!
Posted by picadelio 6 years ago Report
Thank you very much! Disposal isn't super my thing so I was kind of iffy on it, hehe, but I still wanted to include it. Will definitely try to work on that.
Unfortunately not accepting commissions right now, but feel free to send me requests and I'll see if I like them!
Posted by StygianSkies 6 years ago Report
This is a hell of a first story to post. Do you really not have any experience posting content like this publicly?
The dynamic between the characters and their personalities from in-game, especially despair Mikan's, were retained very well and made the story feel like a genuine extension to DR2. That doesn't sound like much of an accomplishment, but you wouldn't believe how rare it is here. A disappointing amount of fanfics just wipe their preds' personalities and give them generic "horny sadist" dialogue.
This was delightfully cruel and focused on the pleasure of the pred, which should always take center stage IMO in willing pred/unwilling prey stories. The appreciation of the weight gain was also nice and the almost addictive nature of vore prompting plans to consume everyone is top-tier shit. Very excited for your arrival on this site and hope you continue to post and improve
Posted by picadelio 6 years ago Report
Yep, this is my first work as far as vore is concerned.
Glad to know I was able to get the voices right for the characters. As far as I'm concerned, there's no point in writing fanfic as opposed to original work if you're not trying to make the characters sound like they actually do, so good to know I succeeded on that front!