An odd, depressing silence permeated throughout Palutena’s Temple. What was often a rowdy, vibrant place of worship had become a dull, quiet hovel. The only noise radiated from a small magic orb which the goddess Palutena was using to view her subject fight. Pit, the rambunctious angel general and her right-hand man, was currently locked in a desperate Smash against a ‘mysterious’ and ‘unknown’ fighter, a young man by the name of Joker. She felt as though this was his hundredth match against the newcomer, and it was getting tiring to see him fight and lose each and every time. Much to her dismay, she had to watch each and every one of these botched battles, as she was manually controlling his Power of Flight.
 
 
  It was getting tiring. Tiring and frustrating. Every other second she had to wave her hand and make him fly back on stage, as Joker slashed him with a knife or shot him with fireballs. He never once spot-dodged, never once reflected, and seemed to have no idea what a ‘tilt’ was. Most of the time she at least had company, but Viridi had taken Phosphora and Dark Pit out for some impromptu training, just as she had the last few days. Palutena was alone. And worse, she was starving.
 
 
  Normally she would ask her friends to fetch her something from the kitchen, but without them present, she would have to risk leaving Pit alone, and it was clear from his performance that that was not an option. Ordering out was a pain because she would need to somehow get the delivery driver all the way to the temple without traumatizing them. Palutena was left to suffer and starve, bored and alone, watching her one and only student fail her over and over again.
 
 
  There had to be a better way. She had to properly punish Pit for his paltry, pathetic performance. As she watched him get ready to fly back on stage, desperately flapping for a little bit of extra height, she decided to make a change. She waved her finger sideways, sending him flying in the opposite direction of the ledge. She could vaguely hear his calls for help, as he soared out of the arena, before descending into a wild free-fall. The battle was over. She had burned his last stock, much to his chagrin and her delight. Joker taunted from the safety of the stage as the battle came to an end. Palutena watched with an eager grin as the confused, distressed Pit forced himself to clap, as if nothing out of the ordinary had even happened.
 
 
  The next item on her agenda was to bring him back to the temple. They would discuss things at length once he was back home. For now, she would sit back and wait. Her stomach grumbled once again, pangs of hunger pains spreading through her body. It was getting unbearable. As much as she wanted to send Pit to the store, it was more important that she give him a stern talking to first. Despite the overwhelming feeling of starvation, she would sit there and wait. After a few minutes, she let go of Pit, ceasing her watch over the young angel. A moment later, she heard his familiar knock on the temple doors. The goddess rose from her seat and let Pit inside, crossing her arms in disappointment as the little angel made his way to her.
 
 
  “Hey, Lady Palutena!” The little general said, giving a passionate and ridiculous salute. “Did you see that last fight? I had him on the ropes, huh?” He sounded awfully chipper for a person who got five-stocked. “I went a little easy since he was only added like a week ago. Hehe!” It was not unusual for Pit to be fairly optimistic. As long as he knew his goddess was safe, he was generally pretty happy. She found this part of him endearing, but she was too disappointed and hungry to let it slide.
 
 
  “Pit, Pit, Pit… You lost yet again.” Her tone dripped with disappointment. Most if not all of his failures were far from a big deal, but he had been losing so consistently that it was getting on her nerve. Likewise, it was impossible to stay sane when her stomach was roaring like a wildebeest.
 
 
  “Huh? Oh yeah. But I was definitely gonna make a comeback! I kind of screwed up at the end when I accidentally flew away from the stage… But oh well! There’s always next time, right?” He gave her a confident grin.
 
 
  “Pit, I’ve put up with several losses before, but I’m starting to draw the line. You’ve been consistently falling short time and time again, and I’m not going to stand for it anymore.” As she spoke, she began walking to the kitchen, digging through the pantries for something worth her time.
 
 
  “Wh-what? But I’ve been doing better lately! I swear I got him to red. Or at least a kind of reddish-orange color… I’m still learning a lot, but I promise I’ll be even better in the next fight.” He followed her obediently, trailing her like a dog.
 
 
  Palutena practically ripped the doors off of each and every pantry, cupboard, and cabinet that she could find, but it seemed they were all miraculously empty. Even the fridge had been cleared of just about every morsel. “Where- WHERE THE HELL IS ALL THE FOOD?!” She slammed the door in frustration. “Me-dammit… Pit, I know you think you’re getting better, but you’ve barely changed a bit since you started Smashing! It’s been nothing but loss after loss after loss. Do you even know that your shields can reflect projectiles? Have you ever wavedashed before?”
 
 
  “H-hey! I started doing the Upperdash Arm. That’s gotta count for something, right?”
 
 
  “There has to be something in here… A jar of honey? A bottle of ketchup? I’ll settle for just a saltine cracker if I have to…”
 
 
  “Oh yeah, we’ve been out of food for a while… For the last few months we only ever ate at Viridi’s place, so there are no groceries anywhere. For the past week I’ve been begging Princess Peach to let me eat some of her turnips. They’re great in soup!”
 
 
  “I hadn’t even noticed…” Palutena muttered to herself. Her goddess powers meant she required sustenance less frequently than others. She could go days without a bite, and would still be completely fine and full of energy. All of the hunger had come to her at once, and it was getting to be more than she could take. She needed something. Something large. She needed meat. If she wasn’t filled up soon, she feared that she would lose most of her power. Her body had already begun feeling week. She doubted she could control Pit’s flight enough for him to make a trip to the store. Either they had to find something in the house, or she would be left to starve like a vagrant.
 
 
  That was, until, she had a better idea. By this point, her brain had ceased control of her functions, lending the work of decision making to her stomach. Every fiber of her being gravitated towards food. For a moment, she considered dining on the furniture, but the little angel general came into view, she had a despicable idea. Pit was looking absolutely delectable. He stared at her, dumbfounded, completely oblivious to both her obvious sabotage and her predatory intent. “Hey, Lady Palutena?” He asked, noticing small beads of drool producing from her mouth. “You okay?”
 
 
  She regained control for a moment. Obviously, eating one of her generals and closest friends was a horrible idea. But as she thought more about it, it was possible she could get away with it. Palutena had more control over her body’s functions than any other being. If she wanted, she could stop her own heart or speed up the flow of her blood. Naturally, she could quell her stomach acids enough to just give Pit a good wake-up call. “I’m doing fine, Pit. Just a little bit hungry…” She took an ominous step forward. “I appreciate how… sweet… you can be. It’s very… appetizing.”
 
 
  “Um… Appealing?”
 
 
  “Yes, that. Now then, how about you put down your swords and come take a seat with me. We can talk about all of this comfortably. Okay?”
 
 
  “Sure, Lady Palutena!” He said, tossing his weaponry to the side. “It’ll be nice to sit back and relax. Hey, I guarantee you, next time I’ll fight even better.”
 
 
  “That’s right.” Palutena said. Immediately, she lunged forward and clutched Pit by the shoulders. In a flash, her open maw meat his hair. He could barely respond. Pit was almost too stunned to even tell what was happening, as he felt his head slowly get pulled in to the inside of her wet, soggy mouth. When he finally realized what was happening, he began to panic. “Lady Palutena!” He called out, his voice echoing in her enlarged maw. “What are you doing?! Stop!” He kicked his legs around helplessly as he was pulled in further.
 
 
  Palutena felt a feeling of ecstacy. The sheer power that doing such a thing brought her was like nothing she had experienced before. Pit’s life was entirely in her hands, in a way that was more intimate than when she controlled his flight. If she wanted, she could absorb his entire being, adding him to her own. It felt magical. It felt right, like this was some sort of natural order she had never considered before. Pit’s head was engulfed in her open mouth, slowly being coated in saliva as she ran her tongue over every inch of it.
 
 
  The taste alone was heavenly. Pit’s body was akin to a sweet slice of angel food cake. The more she pulled him in, the more intense the feeling became. Palutena kept shoving his head inside, working his way to his slender shoulders and his thin neck. Pit’s tiny frame made it simple and easy to take in his entire body. She supposed a normal-sized person would present a much more difficult task. In only a matter of time, she was able to reach his midsection. Her tongue glided over his body, wiggling its way beneath her tunic and licking his bare skin. The most Pit could do was squirm and scream, as within a manner of seconds he plunged right into Palutena’s cavernous stomach. He was submerged in burning acid, which bit his skin relentlessly. He could feel it pooling around him, seeping into his tunic and reducing it to shreds. Despite it eliminating all of his clothing, he only felt light damage inflicting his body.
 
 
  “Pit, you’ve failed me more times than I can count! Consider this your punishment for not learning how to Smash properly…” She let out an innocent giggle, as if she had not just consumed a living being.
 
 
  Pit was left to wallow in pain, confusion, and regret. If he new something this wild would happen to him, he probably wouldn’t have fought with Joker in the first place. He just got so wrapped up in the idea of defeating the newest fighter that he never questioned whether it was a good idea in the first place. After a few seconds of surprise at the outrageous and deadly situation, Pit accustomed to it. He lay in a pool of stomach acid, letting it coat his body. Gradually, the pain became more and more intense. He felt something rub his side, which he surmised to be Palutena’s hand rubbing against her swollen stomach. As the hours ticked by, he noticed a distinct lack of movement coming from the outside. Palutena had stopped moving. To make matters worse, the pain was getting to be a lot more intense than it had previously. A lot worse. In a matter of minutes, he would likely be dead.
 
 
  Palutena awoke with a loud burp. She rubbed her sleepy eyes, waiting as they acclimated to the sights around her. “Oh… Oh, did I doze off…?” She yawned, sitting up on her throne. The once enormous lump that was Pit’s fetal body had been reduced to a small distension on her belly. When she tapped it, there was no reply, save for a satisfied gurgle. “Shit… I wasn't supposed to do that…" She muttered. "Oh well."
 
 
 
 
  “I’m starving… I wonder when Viridi and Dark Pit will be back.”