What Lurks Deep Within the Woods
 
 
“Hey, you! Take your kid out of the fucking bar! This is no place for a child… Whattya mean this ain’t your kid? You’re the only other rabbit in this shithole, and you look just like ‘em… No, I’m not insinuating that all rabbits look the same. I’m insinuating that all rabbits in this hellhole of a town were all born from the same cousins… Fine! Get offended by jokes and leave! At least take your nephew with you, he’ll make a fine husband for your little sister! Oi, people these days… Stop staring at me you little shit, I’m not your dad… Lemme spell it out for you, kid: I’m a hyena, you’re a rabbit. Back before civilization, we would eat you folks for dinner! Now scram… Wait no, no- don’t cry! I’m not gonna eat you, I just want you to leave me alone. Go find your parents… They drove off without you? Heh, my dad used to do that. He’d just leave me behind during the chaos of trying to get my older brothers out the door. The ox that used to work here would give me some espresso to punish my dad. Good times… Hey! Bartender! Glass of milk for the kid, shot of vodka for me. Er- actually, if I’m stuck babysitting, maybe water will do… What? Speak up, kid, people are gonna stomp on your vocal cords if you don’t use ‘em… Why am I being nice? Well, you remind me of myself when I was your age. Plus, my therapist says I should try talking to people more. Ah, our drinks… Wow, water sure does taste bland after a bit of drinking. Anyway, what’s your name? Nick? Nice name, Nick. So, how would you like to hear a story? We gotta find some way to pass the time before your father comes back…
“Awright, so let’s set the scene. This was twenty years ago when I was a mere eleven years old. I have six older brothers, all of them at least seven years older than me. My parents resented me, as I was clearly an accident, and I was the last son living on the farm with them. However, I was the runt of the pack not just in age, but in stature as well. My dad was a proud hunter, with broad shoulders and heavy muscles from slaying wild beasts. My mom was also broad-shouldered, and she was muscled from years working on her family’s dairy farm. Dad’s original plan was to marry Mom, inherit the farm, have a few kids, and live out retirement in peace. Suddenly, I came along, too weak to work the fields and too stupid to go to school. So there they were, trapped at home with a skinny-ass man-child with no skills. I don’t blame them for resenting me, or doing what they did next…
“One day, a town meeting was declared. A beast was spotted in the woods by a little fox-girl. She claimed that it was eleven feet tall while crouching on its back legs, and with nine-foot-long arms with massive claws at the end. It had grey, matted fur and was covered in moss. However, most terrifying was its face. Instead of a face with skin and fur, it had a skull. It had many sharp teeth jutting out unevenly from its jaw bone, and within its empty eye sockets were two sinister glue blue dots. The fox-girl claimed she was watching it stare into a river when it suddenly looked up at her. She then dashed away to alert her father about the beast.
“The town meeting was sent into murmurs as people discussed what had happened. Some were terrified, others skeptical. Suddenly, my father, ever the proud and mighty figure, stood up and declared he would slay the beast. You see, Nick, the town used to have a beast problem, until my father and his group of hunters slew them all. The town hailed them as heroes and continued to respect my father even after he settled down with my mother. However, he felt as though their respect was waning. He had never heard anyone insult my brothers, but he frequently heard foul comments regarding me as he walked through the village. He heard people call me stupid, incompetent, a disgrace to the town, all things that he called me, but it felt like an insult to him that people didn’t respect his lineage. So, hoping to restore the family pride after I soiled it, he declared war on the beast.
“As day turned to night, my family began gathering at the mouth of the woods. Normally, I wasn’t involved in these gatherings, but I was brought along this time so my father could claim I helped kill the beast. Of course, I was not expected to help at all, as demonstrated by my father handing me a butter knife for my weapon. Everyone else got shotguns, including my mom, my six brothers, and three of my brothers’ wives. Our hunting team was 12 strong including me, and after eating a nice meal, we trudged into the woods.
“After about an hour of hiking, everyone seemed ready to give up and call the fox-girl a liar. However, my father had his pride on the line, so onward we went. Eventually, we found it. The beast was real, and it was just as terrifying as the girl described! As it lumbered through the woods on two, its massive front claws scraped up the topsoil. Its skull was uncovered and similar to a wolf skull, but with two massive curled horns. Its eyes illuminated the forest floor as it lumbered onwards. It was truly a terrifying beast, except for one thing. I could see its rib cage and hear its labored breathing. This wasn’t a terrifying alpha beast, it was a scarred and starved creature.
“I turned to my father and alerted him about my conclusions. I informed him that perhaps we should leave it alone, as it was not harming anyone. The stare he gave me- it haunts me to this day. It was an incredulous and disappointed stare, as though he could not believe he helped spawn such a wimp. The stare told me that even if we did kill this beast, his pride would never be restored. He would never be proud of his seventh son. This stare haunts me, not just for how guilty I felt for my weakness, but also for how guilty I feel now. If I just wasn’t as much of a disappointing twink or as much of a cowardly dumbass, none of what happened would’ve happened.
“Eleven shotguns sang out their songs of brimstone and fire as their barrels were pointed at the beast. Blood gushed across the forest floor and danced through the air as the blasts struck the beast’s hide. Its cry rang out into the night air as pain throttled the already pained body. However, despite its weakened state, this was not enough to kill the beast. It turned its glowing eyes towards the line of hunters, and as they prepared to fire again, it charged.
“The bullets spurted more blood across the forest floor, but still not enough to stop the beast’s path of rampage. It reached the line and used its claws to grab two of my brothers, Billy and Joel. I watched in horror as it took the still-struggling Billy and placed his head in its mouth. With deft speed, the beast pushed Billy into its widening mouth, clearly enjoying itself. The bullets stopped firing as people feared hitting the two of them, and people watched in shock. Billy’s wife cried out as the beast swallowed down, expanding its throat as his torso disappeared into it. In three neat gulps, Billy’s feet were the only thing remaining to the outside world. With one final swallow, the shape of Billy’s body slid down the creature’s throat and distended the beast’s emaciated stomach. The walls of the beast’s stomach clung tightly around Billy, so I could see his form curl up and continue to struggle within. The beast did the same with Joel, placing his head in its mouth and swallowing down. In just a few gulps, Joel was gone too, permanently sealed within the beast’s belly. The beast licked the sides of its mouth and stared hungrily at the rest of us
The other nine hunters, deciding that Billy and Joel were good as dead, decided to keep firing. However, the beast, seemingly invigorated by its massive meal, did not care about the bullets peppering its hide. It dashed forward from its spot and picked up Billy’s wife with its jaw! With its claws, it grabbed my brothers Cleetus and Johnny. With three quick pulses of its throat, Billy’s wife, I believe her name was Karen, was sent down to its massive belly. It then sandwiched Cleetus and Johnny together, and stuck both of their heads in its mouth at the same time! Its throat expanded in diameter as its jaw unhitched to swallow the mass of two hyenas at once, like a snake. While greedily gulping down my two brothers, it proceeded down the line further.
“Nathan tried to shoot the beast, but he was grabbed by its claws as well. He was snatched up and crammed into the beast’s throat along with Cleetus and Johnny. It paused for a moment, and we all watched in horror as heaved its chest outward and swallowed down the three of them at once in one gulp! I could see its entire body pulsating with the effort as its belly doubled in size as Cleetus, Nathan, and Johnny were all sealed in their fates! Not only that, but with each one of us swallowed, its hide seemed to grow tougher. Bullets originally sprayed blood everywhere, but now they bounced off of the beast. Even its overly stretched stomach was impervious to the bullets!
“Of course, the beast still wasn’t done. With its belly now touching the floor, it no longer used its back legs to move forward. It fell upon its still struggling stomach and dragged across the floor as it charged on all four of its legs. It came down upon Bobby and his wife. They stuck near each other even in their last moments, which made them easier to swallow. The invigorated beast unhinged its jaw and bit both of their heads at the same time. It picked them up and swallowed them down in two deft gulps using gravity.
“Finally, it came upon those of us in the back of the line. My mother and Cleetus’s wife, Flo was her name, stood next to each other, shotguns still faithfully firing. However, the beast did not care how steadfast the two women were, they were merely a meal. It grabbed Flo with its jaw and swallowed her in a single gulp. Her struggling outline traced down its bulging throat as it sent her down, never to see light again. It then grabbed my mother by her shirt, picking her up like a kitten by the scruff of her neck. My mother shouted and screamed, but the beast placed her on its tongue like a delectably delicate treat. This enraged my father.
“He’d already witnessed his six sons and three daughters-in-law disappear due to this beast, and this was the last straw. He grabbed a combat knife and charged towards the beast. My father tried to gut the beast with the knife, but it bounced off its taut hide. Seeing no other option, he climbed the beast’s belly right as it swallowed down my mother. With a final act of bravado, he grabbed my mother’s hand by reaching into the beast’s throat. However, the beast’s pulsating throat was too strong for him. I watched as the beast pulled him down its throat, forcing his outline into its massive belly. I still remember the outline of my mom and dad’s hands, still holding each other, as they plummeted into the expanding abyss that was the beast’s belly.
“To be frank, I don’t miss any of them. They were all assholes who made my life hard. They plunged into the woods of their own accord and attacked an innocent creature just because of pride. They deserved their fate. However, these images haunt me, because I feel responsible for it. I sat there, eleven years old, holding a butterknife, watching my family get eaten, knowing that I was to blame. If I just wasn’t such a dishonor, my father would never have had to defend his pride. So, I stood there, knife in hand, watching my father added to the beast’s distended belly, and I fell to my knees. I began crying as the beast let out a bellowing belch that echoed through the woods. I cried for the lives lost that day, for my part in their demises, and for my own impending death. Even if I escaped this mess, where could I go? Would the town accept me as I was? My sobs fell to no ears as I cried in front of a massive blob of struggling meat.
“Or, at least I thought no ears heard it. After a few minutes of crying, I looked up and saw the beast staring at me. Its blue eyes, originally so terrifying to me, showed sympathy towards me. It stared me right in the eyes, having no intention of eating me, but an intention to calm me. It was distressing, to see the murderer of your family showing you more kindness than your family ever showed you. After a bit of staring, the beast stood up on its legs and picked me up with its claws. However, instead of picking me up like a fresh piece of meat, it cradled me in its arms, as though I was its child. It began walking away, with me cradled in its arms. After a while, I fell asleep in its massive claws, just a foot above the resting place of my family.
“When I woke up, I was in a warm bed. It turns out that I was found, asleep on the doorstep of this town’s orphanage. I’ve been here ever since. I’m too afraid that I’ll run into someone from that previous town. So, Nick, what have you learned from this story… No, not that you can’t trust a book by its cover. Book covers are supposed to tell you what’s in the pages, and they’re usually accurate. It’s a rare case you open a porno and find a children’s book. What I’m getting at, Nick, is that no one else defines who you are. Whether people call you a shame to the family or a beast, they don’t define you. What defines you are your actions and beliefs, and no one else can tell you what those are… Say, is that rabbit part of your family? He looks like you… Alright, run up to him and call him a fuckwad for leaving you in a bar… What? Well, it’s his fault for letting you learn that foul language! Go on, say fuckwad… More confidence! Let him know that he sucks… Atta boy! Go get him! Heh heh heh, I hope I don’t get the kid in too much trouble. Bartender! A drink, please…”