Posted by grenout 4 years ago Report

Well I can see this chapter serves the purpose to flesh out the story a bit more. You are introducing three new characters: A bunny girl and a fox boy, clearly mirroring the protagonists but I'm still not sure what's their purpose in the story other than a reasonable excuse to keep Nick and Judy separated on certain situations. I’m sure you must have something planned for them as it seems they will be continuously interacting with Nick and Judy and that would help move the plot forward. Maybe Palmer will turn predator as well? There's also a wolf police officer that I believe is a character made by your co-writer? So, I’m not sure if he is a mere cameo or actually has a mayor role in the story. All I can say is that Nick seems to know him pretty well so I don’t think he is involved in any sort of conspiration, even if his introduction was a bit suspicious.

I mentioned a conspiracy because we have yet another case of sudden predation involving swallowing other mammals wholly. This would be the third case counting Judy and the german shepherd from the previous chapter as well. It’s too early though to determine if there is a drug playing a role in this. You did mention in the previous chapter that Bellwether is going to be involved somehow so a drug seems to be the more plausible option so far. Let’s just hope she doesn't get away with it.

Judy is now struggling with the aftermath of consuming a person. She feels guilt even though she admits she found the experience quite pleasant. The more alarming issues are that she now feels revulsion of vegetarian food and suffer of sudden cravings that led her to attack another german shepherd. She did lose consciousness for a sec back then, so they will have to focus in strengthening her self-control in order to get Judy to keep the reins of her hunger and don’t lose her mind over it.

Nick is clearly not okay with this method of punishing criminals as this is basically a death sentence but he loves Judy more and is willing to let it slip for now focusing instead in helping in any way he can to solve her issue. He seems to have an idea but there’s no way to say for sure if that will allow Judy to control her cravings.

Nick does seem to really get turned on by this strong and dominant side of Judy even though he refuses to admit it. He worries that this experience may corrupt her since he is aware of the effect it causes in big predator criminals. I believe he doesn't care that much that she devours criminals but it scares him the idea that she may lose herself by doing so. He just does not want to lose his Judy, and he is willing to do anything if he can help it.

In any case the best thing they can do is make sure Judy sate her appetite with serious criminals. Maybe they can use hypnosis to prompt her to see murderers, etc as her preys, ingraining that thought in her subconscious?

Posted by alexis01 4 years ago Report

wow dude that's a lot to process in a simple comment

Posted by alexis01 4 years ago Report

Thanks for that detailed analysis. There are things that I don't even notice but now I have them in mind.
It's interesting how you can sacrifice those conclusions.
I think the only thing I can answer is that the wolf is a cameo of my co-writer's character, but I added that as thanks for helping me

Posted by grenout 4 years ago Report

I'm not sure what are you trying to say with "sacrifice those conclusions"? Hablo español por cierto, y si te refieres a cómo llegué a esas conclusiones, pues la verdad lo que hice fue más bien repetir lo que leí y tratar de adivinar como podría continuar la historia en base a eso (no hay ninguna matemática extraña por detrás). XD

Entonces el lobo queda descartado como personaje importante, gracias por el dato. De Palmer y Collins prácticamente no sabemos nada de momento, pero si los integraste a la historia significa que han de tener un rol a desempeñar. Con lo poco visto supuse que este dúo está reflejando al dúo protagonista y como tal podrían llegar a seguir sus pasos. Por eso pensé que tal vez Palmer también se vuelva depredadora, como también desarrollar una relación amorosa con Collins.

Lo de la conspiración lo dije simplemente porque, si esta historia sigue la línea original de la película, entonces que un mamífero se trague vivo a otro ha de ser increíblemente inusual, en especial el caso de Judy. Por lo que una repentina oleada de casos similares en un margen de tiempo tan corto es sospechoso y cualquier detective supondría que han de estar relacionados. Y bueno, como en el cap anterior mencionaste en los comentarios que Bellwether aparecería en la historia, y considerando el inusual método de depredación, supuse que todo podría ser obra de una droga.

Lo que dije de Judy fue básicamente repetir lo que leí en el capítulo. A Judy le pesa la conciencia por lo que hizo (a pesar de que en su interior admite que lo disfrutó) al punto de que teme que el fantasma de la víctima se le aparezca, y aún está tratando de procesar lo que pasa con su cuerpo. La comida vegetariana perdió su sabor y parece haber despertado un extraño apetito por pastores alemanes, visto a que atacó a un oficial de esta raza sin pensar solo por su aroma. Además está sufriendo de ataques de ansiedad, temiendo no poder controlar estos "antojos" si Nick no está con ella. Y se insinúa que Judy adquirió una actitud dominante en la cama y una fuerza anormal tras el incidente del capítulo anterior (cosa que a Nick parece encantarle a pesar de que le da vergüenza admitirlo).

Nick reconoce en un momento no estar de acuerdo con ese método de castigar criminales, pero la verdad está más preocupado por Judy que otra cosa. Incluso desobedeció las órdenes de Bogo para asegurarse de que Judy estuviera bien (y resultó ser una decisión acertada al final). Lo cual nos dice que Judy es su prioridad N°1 y su bienestar está incluso por encima de su trabajo y la ley. Aunque aún así tiene una conciencia y por eso quiere evitar que la situación de Judy se salga de control. Habiendo atestiguado tales actos a manos de terribles criminales, teme que Judy pueda llegar a convertirse en un monstruo igual o peor.

Él afirma conocer un lugar donde podrán arreglar el problemita de los antojos de Judy, pero realmente no tengo ni idea de qué puede ser. Dije Hipnosis solo por decir, porque la verdad puede ser cualquier cosa. ¿Tal vez la lleve a una pescadería de Tundra Town para ver si el pescado la sacia XD? Sea lo que sea, calculo que no podrán curar este apetito de devorar personas (por obvias razones, se trata de una historia Vore en un sitio web Vore) y por eso supuse que intentarían fortalecer el autocontrol de Judy y redirigir ese "hambre" hacia criminales para que así al menos ella pueda seguir ejerciendo su deber como policía de proteger a los inocentes y hacer que quienes violen la ley paguen.

PD: Solo quería hacerme entender mejor en el caso de que no me hayas entendido en mi anterior post. No quiero spoilers, plz.

Posted by alexis01 4 years ago Report

do you speak Spanish?
Also, I have this chapter ready since last year, if it takes me a long time to upload it, it's because I'm lazy.

Another thing I should mention is that I am already working in the third part, although this project is stopped. so it will take a long time to get the third part out.

The truth is that chapter three is ready, but I did not like it at all as it is done, I have to rewrite it completely.

Anyway, thanks for reading my story. I know I'm not a very good writer but I do what I can

Posted by z3d 4 years ago Report

Had no idea that zootopia stiey gut a sequel. Hope we get to see more of Judy after she had eaten her first prey : D

Posted by alexis01 4 years ago Report

I can only tell you that there will be more sequels ;)