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A Mother's Last Gift By LavenderLapine -- Report

Uploaded: 5 years ago

Views: 4,010

File size: 40.50 KiB

MIME Type: application/msword

Comments: 5

Favorites: 32

Just something short I started writing. Who knows, maybe I'll write a sequel someday

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Slimshod

Posted by Slimshod 5 years ago Report

That was pretty good. Some of the language and dialog was a bit out of place for certain characters and moments though, namely David's choice of words. Otherwise this was a fun read.

LavenderLapine

Posted by LavenderLapine 5 years ago Report

Yeah, I tried to have him come across as a particularly smart kid, but I’m not sure I did it that well.

Slimshod

Posted by Slimshod 5 years ago Report

Ah gotcha. Ya I think a little more workshopping his word choice and you would have gotten there.

Nickdavis1844

Posted by Nickdavis1844 5 years ago Report

Great job! Loved it!

LavenderLapine

Posted by LavenderLapine 5 years ago Report

Really? I didn’t think this was particularly good. I’m glad you enjoyed it!