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Hi all. This is my first story I publish and it is a story of the famous Felarya. I love to write and I want to be a great writer and this story is the first step to achieve it.
I accept criticism. If there is something about the story that does not convince you do not hesitate to tell me because I want to improve to make good stories. I hope you enjoy it.
I hope Karbo reads it and gives me his opinion
The world of Felarya and the characters Crisis, Léa, Anna and Vivian belong to Karbo.
Karbo
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Posted by Heymanand 3 years ago Report
Very good job Kibro! I'm so happy that you are writing and posting your stories :)
Posted by kibroman 3 years ago Report
thank you very much heymanand
Posted by psicotik 3 years ago Report
It's Spanish your first language? Couldn't help but notice this:
"It gives her great satisfaction but it
was time to finish with your meal. SORBIO the rest of the tail. The neko noticed that she was being
pushed by the tongue towards the dark and sticky hole that was the esophagus."
Posted by kibroman 3 years ago Report
Yes, Im spanish. Sorry if that part of the story bothered you. I have done what I could to make it as similar to English.
Posted by psicotik 3 years ago Report
Oh no, just found it curious, as Spanish is my native tongue too, so I wouldn't mind reading something in that language XD
Posted by kibroman 3 years ago Report
okay. Thanks for writing in the comments.
How did you think the story?
Posted by psicotik 3 years ago Report
That I can't wait to read the next one!
Posted by kibroman 3 years ago Report
I'm glad you like it. I am now writing a second story :)
Posted by Chupathingy1990 3 years ago Report
Mmmh. I wouldn't mind lying on Crisis belly after she depopulated a village.