It had been at least fifty whole years since Juno had pushed herself along with Kars into space, seemingly never to return back to Earth.. alive that is. The two’s bodies eventually breached the atmosphere of the red planet, Mars, plummeting down onto the dirt below. After at least fifty more minutes, Kars opened his eyes. His mind finally regained the ability to think as he broke free from his prison. Before he could announce his release, he noticed the detached arm in his hand and turned around, seeing the young woman’s scratch-covered corpse on the ground before him. "Hmm… that's… the Joestar girl. She did come here with me… I doubt she's alive though."
 
 
Using his foot, he lightly pushed her onto her side. There was barely life in her eyes as she stared blankly at the sky, “..as I thought.” he could bring her back to life, he'd have somebody to spend this eternity with at least. Sighing quietly, he kneeled down and immediately dug his fingers into her chest, giving her back the life she had lost so long ago. “..nggmmm.. No mom.. I don’t wanna go to work… eh-?” Juno looked around, seeing Kars "Aahhh! Kars!" "Don't respond that way, I kept you from death. Show some gratitude." "R-really?! How?" She looked down at her hands before looking back at him, her eyes wide. “..A-All I remember is seeing stars and.. And then I… holy fucking shit!” she looked around some more "Are we on Mars?!" "I would assume so, we have been floating for 50 years." "50 years?!" She took a spit take, genuinely surprised. “Oh god, oh god.. I forgot about dad! Brother! I’ve been away for FIFTY YEARS!!” She panicked, trying to piece together her situation.
 
 
"I am not aware of how your powers work entirely, but it was the 30s when we were sent to space, you would still be born and-" "And it'll create an endless time loop!" Juno stood back up and onto her feet, “God, this is so weird! I accidentally created a time loop where I get stuck in space with you for fifty years!” but if she still got born that would mean she'd loop back and bring Kars with her into space, would that mean there'd be more of her too? She covered her face with her hands, groaning miserably. “Ughhhhhh…” "Until we figure a way out we will be stuck here." "You're right… but we can't build a spaceship out of rocks!" "If we find a way off this wretched rock I will pledge myself to you as an equal." "You say that in a 'when pigs fly' tone…" Juno sighed and rolled her eyes. “..lets see here… rocks, more rocks… man, it’s cold…” The girl mumbled, shivering just a bit.
 
 
To think that she’d be stuck on a planet at least 154.96 million km away from the Earth with fucking Kars. The guy who tried to kill her father! Who tried to eat her! Many times, actually! "You are not allowed to eat me either." Juno spoke up, raising her finger as she looked back at him. “..besides, we already have one problem, we don’t need more.” "Need more what?" "More of you! I'm sure we can flag down a rover or something!" Juno exclaimed, “..I’m just gonna pray that I didn’t jinx myself or anything.. Let's go.” she probably did. Kars rolled his eyes, looking at his surroundings before he followed Juno, "I doubt we will find any dogs, but who knows." "You mean the rovers? They're not dogs." She raised an eyebrow, just a little confused as she continued walking onward through the red world. "Wait, what am I gonna do for food?! There's nothing for me to eat!" Juno panicked "I mean… you could turn parts of your body into fruit or something… but then you'd need to feed off me…" "Or the clones that arrive." "Eh?" "We could eat the clones."
 
 
Juno just looked at him with wide eyes, scared shitless by what he recommended. "U-uhhh… I'll just eat the stuff you make from your body… you can eat the uhh… clones.." This was some freaky shit! "Fine by me." The girl rubbed her eyes as she looked away, laughing awkwardly. “..I wish I brought a sweater.” it was kinda cold here, and she wasn't really dressed for this 'weather'. "Kars can I… huddle towards you?" The black-haired girl asked, tapping her fingers together. “..i-i mean it’s kinda freezing out here, i get you’re pretty much fine or something..” "Fine, I know you secretly worship my body anyways~" "i-i don't! I just want to be warm!" She punched him in the tits before immediately hugging him. Yep, her face was right on his chest too, which made her blush deeply. “..s.. So warm…” his tits were so godly soft and warm! For a vampire he was very warm! "Are you enjoying yourself, human?" "You know my name, jerk ¬3¬ but… yes. I am.." She nuzzled him slightly, enjoying the comfortable warmth that she was given. “..dumbie..” she felt Kars push her deeper against his chest, “Mmmph, stoppit! You’re gonna smother me in your fat melons!!” It was like he was punishing her on a slightly lesser level for banishing him to space with Joseph’s help.. That or he just wanted her to suffer in his tits. Or both, “Maybe that’s what I want, hm? Perhaps I want you to suffer~” “Sh-shut up!!” “Isn’t that what you want? To become a part of me? I see it on your red face, humans are bad at hiding their arousal~” “I-I told you not to eat me earlier!!” “But is that what you really want? Or perhaps you want me to eat you but not kill you?~”
 
 
Oh boy, Juno’s face was as red as the planet she and him were on. “S-Shut up!!!! Man!!!” “You know I’m right-” “SHUT!!! D:<!!” She placed her hand over his mouth, pouting as she looked up at the purple-haired Pillar Man. He licked her hand, smirking ever so ‘>:3’-like, making her angrily smack his chest, given how big he was. “I can’t imagine being stuck here with you for any longer!! I hope we get saved soon!” As if by a lightning strike of fate, Juno could clearly hear a voice in the distance. “Oh thank god!” she ran up to see who it was, only to be met with… another her, and another Kars! “Eh?” “Huh, turns out I was right, Joestar.” “Well shit, you were.” Juno stepped back in confusion, her eyes wide in shock. “Wh.. what? What the… I..” “Okay, let me explain-” Juno immediately interrupted the other Juno. “I already KNOW what’s going on! It’s just so weird seeing another me that ISN’T-” “Rubber Soul!” “How’d you know? Are you actually him?!” “No! It’s a long story, basically we’re in a time loop! More of us are gonna come here for all eternity until we get out of here or we all die! Well ok if we die that won’t stop anything, but still!”
 
 
Juno just blinked, she was so confused yet at the same time intrigued. “..oh shit.” “Yeah… that’s why I have to figure out how to get back to Earth so I can gap back in time and stop myself from getting into space like this!” it never dawned on her that she could just… do that on Mars. “Yeah, weird. You think there are others?” “There are more??” God, Juno (all of them) was so fucking stupid. “They’re so dumb.” “At least it won’t be hard to eat them that way.” both of the Kars said as they watched the Juno’s talk to each other. They were so stupid, they had no idea. “Well what do we do now?” “Hope somebody notices us here, I suggested we hunt down a rover and hope those NASA jerks notice us.” The first Juno said, folding her arms. “Yeah!.. Say, should we use nicknames or something?” “Sure! How about.. Umm.. Gappy?” “Sounds stupid, but it’ll do.” “Well let’s go then! Hopefully we get out of here before more clones show up, I’m gonna run out of nicknames!” And so the two of them were off in hopes of finding a Mars rover so that they could contact Earth. Instead of gapping back to Earth, again, nobody tell them it’ll be funnier when they realize it on their own.
 
 
“..so, wait. If you’re an alternate version of me, are there any changes?” “We’re from the same timeline, idiot!” “But like, are there?” “...No.” “Damn.” Juno stuck out her tongue as she looked at Gappy. “..say, where’s Kars?” “Which one, mine or yours?” “I- err.. BOTH OF THEM!!” “You don’t think they wandered off right? This place is huge! We can’t lose them!” Juno grabbed her other self by the shoulders, “..Besides, who knows if there are more Kars around here? Oh god what if there are more Kars? We’ll be overwhelmed!” “..well, I mean… there’s the possibility!” “It’s my worst nightmare come true. Well either that or waking up one day and finding everyone I hold near and dear gone.” “Are… are you okay??” “You’re me, you know I’m not okay.” Gappy blinked a few times before nodding in agreement. “Yeah, I have the same thought.” “So… any other ideas on how we could get off this rock if the NASA thing doesn’t pan out?” “Uhhhh….”
 
 
Gappy sat down, with Juno sitting down next to her. “..I’m going to be honest, I have no damn clue what I’m gonna do!” “Yeah, same.” “..so, have any idea on what to do with-” “Fat Tits McGee? Hm. Well, if we do bring him back to Earth, be it on purpose or not.. We have to do something about that.” “Like what? Just say that he’s a really weird cat and pray nobody notices?” Gappy closed her mouth immediately before looking back to the crimson horizon. “Well… maybe? What else am I gonna do with him?! He can’t be contained, the SWF won’t be able to that's for sure!” “Let alone a bunch of ‘em. I bet if the universe dies or something, he’ll still be here.” “Of course he will! It’s like he’s immortal or so-”
 
 
“..oh there he is.” Juno sat up and dusted off her skirt, “..I’m gonna talk to him.” “What are you, stupid?” She cracked her knuckles and smiled, “He’s some sort of living god, I think he’ll know how to get off this dumb planet somehow.” “Yeah, if you have a death wish!” “It’s fine, I think he knows he can’t get off this dumb hunk of red sand without me. If there was another way out he would have killed me by now.” Juno stuck her tongue out playfully before making her way toward the buff purple-haired vampire. “Heyyyy Kars…” Juno held up her hand and waved as he had her back toward her, looking at the fittingly red sky. “..how's it goinggggg?” “My comrades are dead, I was defeated by a lowly human, and I am now trapped on a lifeless planet for all eternity, how do you think it’s ‘going’?” Kars responded bitterly. “..so not good, I suppose?” Man, and she thought that he wasn’t the emotional type. “Well… I’m sure we’ll get out of here somehow, but if we do you’ll have to behave yourself on Earth, because I hate leaving people behind. Even if they’re buff Aztec vampire gods.” She slowly held out her hand to him, much to his surprise. She wasn’t running away or anything. “..Maybe we could team up or something? I help you and you help me!” “Help you? With what? What purpose do you plan to use me for, hm?” Tapping her fingers together, she spoke up. “We’re gonna get back to Earth. Emphasis on we.” “Say we do return to Earth, and I am spared this current punishment, I will be indebted to you.” “Really?” “I say that because I know it’s not going to happen, I am trapped here as are you, and even if you weren’t, you wouldn’t take me with you.” “What if I did? Huh? What if I just brought you back to Earth as… ummm.. punishment! Yeah!” Man, she was stubborn, but she had quite the heart.
 
 
“I’d have very little to do in retaliation, given my debt to you.” “Hmmm…. Well now I’m gonna try extra hard to get us back home, and that’s saying a lot!” She grabbed his hand, smiling like the dork she was. “..So come on! Let’s get off this stupid red planet! I have a lot to show you back at home!” “You say that like we’re leaving now.” “Who knows, maybe we are!” She exclaimed, pretty excited to say the least. “..so uhh.. Can’t you use your Ultimate Lifeform shenanigans to do something?” “..perhaps I can, Joestar.” “Is it a cool way, like turning into a bird and flying us back to Earth?” “You would most likely die re-entering the atmosphere, so no.” “:I Damn. Well, what is it?” Kars tapped his chin, “..I do have one plan, however.” “Really? You gotta tell me! I’m dying to knoooww!!” She pulled on his arm, begging to hear what he had in mind. “..Give me your stand.” “Eh-? Give you… my stand?? Uhhh… I can’t do that, it’s not a dollar you can borrow.” she was so confused, “Wait… is this going where I think it’s going..?” “What do you think, human?” he grasped her arm tightly, before using his abilities to make an almost improved copy of her stand, just with a more purple hue than green. “To think it took us an hour to figure this out. Haha, for a minute there I thought you were gonna eat me and just drag one of my clones with you! Ahaha...eheha… eheh… please tell me you weren’t originally planning that.” “Alright, I wasn’t.”
 
 
She blushed slightly, rubbing her arm a little bit before looking back at him. “Let’s go, then.. JoJo.” “He called me JoJo….” was he just being nice to her because she was getting him off Mars? “S-sure… coming.. He can’t be just being nice… maybe he’s planning something…” Juno thought to herself, hopefully Gappy or any other Juno wouldn’t make the same mistake as her. She grasped his hand and entered through a gap he opened, leading all the way back to Earth. “W-wow… that was nice of you…” “You would have figured it out on your own and done it yourself, but I wasn’t in the mood to wait for your rock of a brain to come to that realization.” “WOW OKAY.” Juno squinted slightly before shaking her head. “Well, since your back on Earth.. Ummm… huh, what to do now…” She thought to herself before looking up at Kars. “..and if you’re gonna eat me, don’t.” “Like I said, I am indebted to you.” “I thought that was some kind of trick! You were telling the truth?!” She felt him place his hand gently on her head. “>O<!!” “Yes. Spending 50 years without a mind to think with is less cumbersome than an eternity. I.. must thank you.” “W-well aren’t you honorable?” “Of course I am, we Pillar Men are nothing if not honorable with our opponents.” “Coming from the guy who stabbed my gran because he got pissed his beefy teenage son got beat.” “..I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”
 
“Come on! I’ll show you my house!”
 
 
-END-