Ahh, Mexico. The perfect place to keep a man trapped in a pillar as a father and daughter duo made their way into the Nazi base. One of them disguised as a big-breasted waifu and the other as a man in a suit of which Joseph stole from that Donovon testicle chin-looking dickhead. “This is stupid..” Juno whispered "Why am I the man and you're the woman? I'm already a cute girl! Nobody is going to believe that you're a lady, your body is like a tree trunk!" "Have some faith in me, this'll work! I promise we'll be in that base in no time!" The gag boobs really were over the top as they walked toward two guards. “Halt! Wait a minute…” Joseph held up two tequila bottles, with Juno behind him with the most awkward expression.
 
“Me and my husband would like to share our fine wares with you gentlemen.~” There was a minute of silence before they both burst out laughing. "Is this some kind of joke?! Get the hell out of here before we shoot you two clowns!" "Told you it wouldn't work." "Fine, we'll go for plan B!" Joseph said before clocking one of the guards in the face, Juno smashing the other with one of the bottles. "We could have done this from the start you know." "True true. But we still got one bottle of tequila leefft-" "Daughter, remember?" "Oh, right…" Juno rolled her eyes and headed inside the base alongside him. To make a long story short, the German soldiers were testing with a Pillar Man to see what they could do with him, forcing Speedwagon to watch in all of its horrifying glory.
 
 
With Made in Heaven, we can skip past some parts, like how Santana, as Stroheim calls him, broke his entire skeleton to fit through the vent and possess a poor soldier. It’s pretty fucked up to watch. Yeah that's fucked up! Anyways. "Where do you think he is, Joseph?" "Not really sure, but he's in the base, I know it!" They had to find him, Santana was one dangerous being, he was a Pillar Man after all. Although, it was only one… how hard could it be? “..why are all the lights flickering on and off? This is like a horror game!” "He could be close, stay on guard." "Alright, but I don't have Hamon, remember? All I have is my stand, that you… can't see.." Juno sighed, this was gonna be another dangerous life or death fight wasn't it?
 
 
Walking around, Juno managed to find a flashlight on one of the desks in the base, “Huh, always keep a flashlight on you, I guess.” it would be useful of the power went ou-And the power went out. "Dammit." Was all Joseph said "Don't worry I picked up a flashligh-" "I can light up the building again with my Hamon if I try hard enough!" "Dad. I love you, but don't." Joseph placed the palm of his hand against the wall, managing to at least turn one light bulb back on. “See? Told you!” “Dad. Please.” "Ohh fine, you're no fun > 3>" Juno rolled her eyes and used the flashlight, it was still freaky though with the power being off. Like something was gonna jump out and grab one of them at any moment. “..we’re just gonna find Mr. Speedwagon and then we’re leaving, I don’t want someone I care about to be a blood-covered hole-filled mess… or worse.” "I hear ya, I hope he's okay, he's some of the only family I got…" Joseph was worried underneath his cocky energetic persona, both for Speedwagon and Juno, if something was here they had to avoid it. This was a 'deal with it later' kind of problem with that Pillar Man.
 
 
Pointing her flashlight down the hall, she noticed what appeared to be legs getting pulled into a vent. A closed vent. “..what the fuck…” she hoped that finding Speedwagon wasn't going to involve them going through this entire base, especially if there's gonna be nightmare creatures lurking around. The smell of blood became more and more apparent as time went on, before suddenly the lights flickered back on. “Oh, thank god-” Santana was like… right there. "Holy fuck! How did he get here?!" "Through the vents! Closed vents." “Well, that’s horrifying!” He was like some sort of cryptid, which only made it more surreal and creepy. “Stay still so the scary predator won’t eat you.” Santana stared at them, his gaze was almost petrifying, it was so scary. "Dad what do we do?" Juno whispered "We hope he loses interest and goes away, if we just play possum he won't attack us I'm sure." "I hope you're right." It was just two humans staring at a Pillar Man, a being that could easily kill the both of them. "Uuhhh… hello there, are you that Santana guy?" Juno nervously asked, waving ever so slowly so he didn't get triggered and attack. Surprisingly? He waved back "Hello. I am Santana." He was so fucking creepy.
 
 
“He seems to be copying her movements…” Joseph thought to himself as he watched her slowly walk closer, it seemed like something he himself would do as Juno reached out hesitantly. Juno was curious, but scared, was he toying with her? Was this just how he was? She didn't have the same experience with him that she did with say Kars. Just stay calm, any sudden movements could do something bad. You don’t know what he could do, so stay calm. Santana stepped forward on his own, making Juno and Joseph freeze in place, "Fuck what do we do now?" "If he makes another move like that we book it and don't stop until we find Speedwagon." They whispered to each other while Santana glared at them in silence. “..should we run now??” "... Yeah we need to run." Joseph grabbed Juno's hand and began booking it away from Santana, who merely uttered "Idiots." before pursuing them.
 
 
The two Joestars were running for their life, seeing dead bodies and blood decorate the halls as they were up against something inhuman. "This is like a freaking horror movie!" "I have an idea!" "Please don't say to split up!" "I don't have an idea!" All they could do was use the famous technique used for countless generations: Fucking run. Just haul ass through the base while a sleep paralysis demon chases you. Santana was like a tiger getting enriched when a bird flies into its pen, he was chasing these two down just to hunt them and eventually… you know. “This is so fucked up!!” "He's gonna kill us if he captures us! I just know it, why do they have to fucking EAT PEOPLE?!" Juno almost tripped, and that made her whole life flash before her eyes, luckily Joseph caught her "Come on! Can't lose you now!" "Th-thanks dad.." She smiled slightly before hearing something above her. “..the vents.”
 
 
Fuck they forgot about the vents, "shit-" Santana landed right in front of them, almost right on top of Joseph, with him falling on the floor "Shit shit shit" he tried to get up but felt something on him. Oh god Santana was grabbing him, he's trying to eat dad. "Let go of him!!" The girl grabbed onto her father’s shirt, trying desperately to pull him back. Santana was pulling him in like an octopus, "Dad! Use Hamon to zap him or something!" "I-I can't I'm out of breath from running! Bastard chased us on purpose!" He was right, Santana was tiring him out, making him easier to consume. Juno kept trying to get him free, it was like pulling somebody out of tar! “Rrghhh… come on! Let go of him!!” Juno yelled, struggling immensely as she stepped back. “I’m not letting some DUMB VAMPIRE take away my dad!” she pulled until her hand slipped free, Joseph being pulled into Santana "NO!!!"
 
 
Her eyes went wide in horror, realizing what had happened. That thing ate her dad, she had to save him before she fades out of existence! "D-dad! I'll save you, I promise!" She didn’t want to disappear or something, she had to save him! Without thinking, Juno attacked the red-haired Pillar Man after throwing all caution out the window. If she was gonna die she was gonna die fighting like a Joestar. She felt oddly powerful, it wasn't her stand or anything, but damn did she feel like she could kick this guy's ass "I SAID LET HIM OUT!!" she was grabbed by her neck by the Pillar Man, "Die." "N-no you!!" She placed her hands on his arm, a slight sizzling sound could be heard along with the smell of burning flesh. Looking closely, it felt like her fingertips were melting his flesh! "What the…" was this… Was this Hamon?! Whatever it was, Santana didn't like it. "What's wrong? Can dish the acid but can't take it?" She smirked as she tried to melt his arm off to get free, then she'd get her dad out!
 
 
“Come on! Eat me! Don’t you want to stop me from melting your arm off?!” she goaded him into consuming her, which he did to avoid the pain and to be done with her. God it felt so weird and slippery to be consumed by him, like… it was kind of indescribable actually. It smelled like blood and for some reason dirt, which was already a weird scent as is. She was squished against Joseph, who was unconscious, “D-dad! Wake up please! We gotta get out of here!” she pushed against him so he’d wake up. It was so uncomfortably tight that it made her nearly puke, it was so slimy as well! She elbowed him in the chest, waking him up “Huh?! Don’t tell me he got you too!” “Don’t worry, I did this on purpose! I can use Hamon! Sort of, it’s acid! But it’s weak… you gotta help me!” “Say no more, thanks for waking me up by the way.” It was strange how he hadn’t started digesti- aaaaaaaaand he’s beginning to digest them. “Speak of the devil.” “My Hamon won’t be too powerful with the lack of a ton of air in here, but if we work together we could get out I’m sure!” “Not what I expected father-daughter time to be like, but this’ll be interesting!”
 
 
With enough effort, they both managed to bisect Santana, causing bits and pieces of him to fly onto the walls and ground. “Whew! That was diff.. i…. cult…” Joseph looked at Juno with wide, horrified eyes. She was naked. “COVER YOUR EYES, COVER THEM RIGHT NOW!!” “I am! Sorry sorry!” Looking at your naked daughter is absolute heresy to Joseph, what would your grandfather think?! “H-how come your clothes didn’t melt?! You were in there longer than me!” “I dunno, maybe your clothes were made of weaker material?!” Well, he did have a point there, but either way. “..G-give me your shirt!!” “What are you going to cover your…. Y’know with??” “I’ll think of something!” Joseph took off his shirt, his eyes tightly shut, “H-here…” Juno snatched the shirt and covered herself with it, Joseph was allowed to have his tits out, but Juno? No. Heresy. Go to prison, do not look unless we have told you to.
 
 
“Thanks.. I didn’t want to lose you back there, and.. I don’t know what even happened! I can use Hamon now?? That’s really cool!!” Mona and the others did kind of tell her what it was and teach her the basics, but she didn’t really think she’d ever be able to use it! “And it saved our asses too! Ewww... Santana’s all in pieces… gross.” Juno nudged a piece with her foot, he was like a potato that exploded in the microwave. It moved in response, causing her to scream in fear. Even in pieces he wasn’t dead “If he fucking fuses himself back together I’m breaking a window and jumping out.” “THEN LET'S GO.” “We still have to find Speedwagon!” “FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT SPEEDWAGON!”
 
 
-To be continued...?-