“Y’ello?” Juno asked as she opened the door to her humble abode before looking down with her expression growing to be more of a frown than usual. “Oh, hey Hazmat.” “I-it’s Hazamada..” “What do you want?” The boy pressed his fingers together, "I w-was thinking we could hang out today, n-not for any weird reasons! Just because we're friends!" "You're not really my friend though but okay." She opened the door a little more so she could let him in, the boy could clearly see another lad like him on the couch. “You can sit down next to Nekota.” "That twer-I mean, the kid?" "Yep. Come on it, but do not try anything pervy." She shook her fist at him "Especially with Nekota." "I hear you, chill out." He sat down next to the small boy, who woke up and looked at him. “-w-?” “Oh yeah, I have another cat in the house, I don’t recommend doing any funny business with him.” "Sure whatever." Hazamada looked at Nekota, he was so tiny! "hewwo! :3 my name is nekota yoshikage! :3!" "Like that freak who steals hands and blows people up?" "nyo… <:3" Nekota smiled, full of purity and love! Which of course, Hazamada hated. It was like pouring salt on a snail, the cuteness… it burned!!
 
 
Nekota pawed at Hazamada for a second, “do you wan some schrimp? i wike schrimp! :3” "Sure I guess. What's with the lisp? It's kinda funny…" "i dunno i just have it, juno says its cute! :D" he got up from the couch and pulled up a stool so he could get some shrimp from the toaster oven. Hazamada rolled his eyes before noticing something briefly looking at him before going upstairs. “..what the fuc..?” it looked big. "Holy shi-" "the schrimp is done! :D!" Nekota said as he held up the plate "it's fried and it's reawwy tasty! have some :3!" "Whatever." Hazamada grabbed a piece, why was this kid so cute? It was painful how adorable he was. Placing some shrimp in his mouth, he grew more and more curious about the cryptid that was upstairs. Was that her brother? He was around Jotaro’s height… no way that was Josuke though, he only got a quick glimpse but that chest was way too wide and buff to be Josuke. "Hmm…" "whatcha thinking about? :3c" "Anybody else aside from you and Juno's family live here?" "juno has her boyfriend dop, and there's my uncwe kars!" "Kars?" Well, that sounds ominous! “he’s really nice. :3 wanna meet him?” "Uhhh… yes?" Hazamada was confused and kind of scared, "okie! wet me finish my schrimp though :3 nyam nyam nyam nyam nyam" "Oh god he's so saccharine… I just wanna beat him up now.."
 
 
He lightly pushed against the boy with his hand, trying to tip him over. “:3c?” Nekota tilted his head as he munched on his snack, confused to Hazamada's urge to bully him. "are we pwaying a game? :3c" "Yeah… a 'game'." Just pretend he's Sumire, rat boy. ":o! i wuv games! :3!!" The adorable little boy bounced around, smiling happily. “ehehehhhohooh” he felt Hazamada grab his arm and pull him close to the other boy's chest ":o?" He looked up to him, confused and curious. “mistew, what are you doing? <:3c" "You'll see, runt." He pinned Nekota down on the couch and pinched his cheek "Heh you think you're cute huh? Disgusting." ">~< nyuu! that hurts!" Nekota wiggled under Hazamada's weight, a little spooked. "How come you get to get all the charm, huh? I bet Juno adores you…" The baby boy whined and kicked his legs. “p-pwease stop!!” "Now I feel like garbage! And it's all because of you!" He gripped the poor boy's arm as he got ready to beat him up. Thankfully Nekota would be spared a beating when Kars showed up. "Hold still dammi--huh?!" Hazamada felt somebody grab him by his jacket and rip him off of Nekota "Is this creep bothering you, Nirvana?" "qwq kars…"
 
 
Oh. That was Kars. The boy looked at him with wide eyes, he was so BIG. "Who are you, and what made you think it was okay to harm a Pillar Man?" "Wh-what?!" Holy shit this guy walked around in nothing but a loin cloth! "You reek of body sweat and smoke, just another garbage human in this town it seems." Hazamada struggled in his grip, yelling at him as he did. “L-Let go of me!!” his yelling and struggling made Kars smirk "Squirm all you want, rat, but I'm not letting you go after you harassed Nirvana like that. Now apologize " he held Hazamada up to Nekota "F-fine! I'm sorry for being a dick to you! Now put me down!" "Hmmm… pathetic, what a truly pathetic human you are." Kars looked at the rat boy, his smell was horrible but maybe he tasted good. Undoing his jacket, he bit down on his waist, causing the boy to wince in sheer agony. "what are you doing, kars? <:3c" "Why don't you go upstairs and play with your toys, Nirvana? I'll straighten this… garbage out." Kars said, which only made Hazamada more afraid. "okie! <:3" Nekota ran upstairs, leaving Kars and Hazamada alone. "Now… where was I?~" "I-I didn't mean to hurt him, it was just a joke!" The black-haired boy exclaimed, clearly scared of the buff horned man. "Well you must have an even worse sense of humor than Joestar." He held Hazamada over his mouth, that was a lot of sharp teeth, "W-wait! Wait stop! I'll do anything! Don't eat me!!" He was just so small and helpless, perfect as a snack that you would forget about later. "From what I've heard about you from Juno, you're not somebody she'd be upset over me eating." "No no no!! Please!" Hazamada kicked his feet as Kars lowered him into his mouth, not even bothering to take off his shoes.
 
 
He could already feel how tight and warm his throat was, very moist too. “C-Come on!! Please!! I said sorry!!” Kars rolled his eyes on response and kept swallowing Hazamada, he tasted so… gross and leathery, but he was plenty chubby too. Shoved down his gullet, the boy barely had any time to scream as he was swallowed down, the last thing he saw being his predator’s jaws snapping shut. "Help! This is so gross, I don't want to die!! Juno!! Juno help!!" He yelled for Juno to come save him, Kars sitting down and poking his gut, "Such a loud meal… heh, keep squeaking though, rat~" He was fairly small compared to him, so nobody would really notice the boy squirming around inside of him. He left such a small bulge, it was rather disappointing but he was still filling enough for him at least. Humans were merely just food after all, the only reason he didn’t kill Juno.. yet… was mostly out of some strange sort of kindness she returned to him back, ya know, getting sent to Mars and all that. "Let me out!!" Hazamada struggled and yelled for help, pressing against the walls that tightened around his own body to digest him away, "Mmm… your struggling feels so good~" "I-I don't want to die! It's so tight in here!!" “That’s what they all say.~” "Kars? Is that you talking down there?" "Yes, I caught your ratboy friend." "Hazamada?!" "He tried to hurt Nirvana." "Nekota was a little shy and spooked when I checked on him.." Juno walked downstairs, eyes wide before sighing quietly. “..why am I not surprised?” "He harmed the boy, I had to eat him, but he's a very meager meal I must admit." "Then why keep him in there?" "You know I hate letting prey go." "I know… but…" she felt a little bad for Hazamada, nobody really deserves to get eaten by Kars and experience that kind of slow painful death.
 
 
“..Can you please let him go-” “No.” Juno bit her lip, damn was he stubborn. “I mean, yeah he’s a little shit, but I don’t feel like being on the same level as the goddamned hand man. I already killed ONE PERSON and she was a bitch but either way… pleaaaaaaaaase?” "No, Juno." "Come on! I'll buy you whatever hunk of meat you want if you do!" "Whatever hunk of meat I desire?" "Yes! Beef, pork, fish, anything! Please spit Hazmat out!" "HMZMMDFF!" Hazamada yelled from inside Kars. "Hmmm… perhaps that can be arranged, if I am allowed to eat you instead later on today. And if I let this worm out he is to apologize to Nirvana again and be a rousing partner." "Fine!" Juno folded her arms, her eyebrows furrowed with her face red in frustration. He was such a bitch to deal with! "The boy didn't taste good anyways." Kars said before he spat Hazamada out, "i-i'm alive! Haha i'm alive!" He ran up to Juno and hugged her leg "Th-thank you! I am forever in your debt!" “No problem…” Juno laughed awkwardly as she patted him on his matted down head. "Ewww sticky…" she shook off her hand "Th-this is your 'cat'?!" "Yeeeaah kinda… he's like a cat. Like a lion, a purple lion.. Well, he can technically be anything, he’s like some sort of God or whatever." “The more you say, the less I know about, thank you for sparing my life…” Hazamada whined as he clung to Juno's leg "Grosss.. you're getting stomach juices on me…" she shook him off "I'll do anything in return to repay you!" "Could you maybe not be a creep?" “Yes!!” “..well, that was easy.” she half knew he'd go back on that sooner rather than later, but right now she didn't really care. "Now go dry yourself with a towel, you're getting goo everywhere." "Y-yes Juno-chan…" He ran upstairs, with Juno merely rolling her eyes before looking at Kars. "You should have let me kill him." "No, because I have a moral compass unlike you." "So you say, but that just means you'll be taking his place tonight~" "sh-shut up you fat cat…"
 
 
He was so pervy and gross, yet at the same time so HANDSOME. “Ughh…” “Let’s not be stubborn~” “W-we have company over!! Not now, Kars you stupid horny vampire!!” She yelled as he walked over and nuzzled against her, as if toying with the girl. “Man!!!” “Come on now, Nirvana will keep our ‘guest’ busy, nobody will know what we’re doing~” Juno grabbed a spray bottle and spritz’d him “Bad vampire!! Bad!!” He merely squinted at her. “Do you not remember the last time you tried that?” “No!” Kars tried to pick her up, with Juno retaliating by hitting him on his chest “Put me down >:I” She pouted, blushing quite a bit, “You’re quite heavy, must be the fat you’ve gained over time.” “Shut!! >:O” she yelled, this was embarrassing and she couldn’t be seen like this! She knew if Hazamada saw her he’d get all gross and horny, and Kars was bad enough! “C-Come on! We’ll do it later…” She tried to not let it get to her, as perverted as it was. “Fine fine, but you can’t avoid it, I will hunt you down~” “Sh-shut up, man. Stupid horny fuck..” she flicked his nipple, making him wince a bit, that was like his only sensitive spot. Just poke his boob, like a real cat. “Heehee… poke… poke… po-” “Stop.” Kars grabbed her hand tightly, glaring at her. “Cease.” “no >:)” She used her other hand to continue poking his chest. “I will eat you right now if you don’t stop.” “Try me bitch, you’ve been a pain to me all day, I can be a pain to you.” The black-haired girl grinned as she continued her assault on his fat chest. “Whatcha gonna do if I don’t stop? You gonna eat me? Huh, stinky man you gonna eat me?” she laughed, playing around with him without a care in the world. “Huh, stinky bastard man??” “I will and it will be painful.” “Ohh?? Oh yeah?? Do it, bitch.”
 
 
Of course, Juno didn’t take into account that she was the universe’s bitch at this point in time. Kars grabbed her other arm, “I will eat you, I mean it.” “...Fiiinne be a party pooper > 3>” She pouted, glancing off to the side. “Your chest is so soft though…” “I know.” Juno papped his chest again and went to see where the hell Hazamada went, “He better not be going through my underwear drawer…” she said before she looked into Nekota’s room, the little catboy having tackled Hazamada to the ground and was ‘attacking’ him. “Rawrr!! >:3” “G-get him off me!!” “Pfftttt!” Hazamada looked up at her as Nekota gently batted at him. “This isn’t funny, he's biting me!!” “Nah it’s pretty funny.” Juno snorted, covering her face with her hand with a noticeable grin. “gggrrr!! i’m a deadwy predator!! >:3” Nekota clung to Hazamada and bit his ear, making Hazamada struggle and squeal “Get off me you little freak!” “Don’t call him that! He just likes playing around!” The girl walked over and grasped Nekota by the collar of his shirt, pulling him off. “nyuuuu!!!” Nekota waved his little arms as he was pulled off of his 'prey' "nyuuu!! i was kiwwing him!" "Nekota, Hazamada is not your chew toy. Be nice." "sorry hazmat <:3" "Hazamada! Not hazmat!" He pouted "Juno please, your friends are so weird." "Yeah I know, I'm sorry. Why did you come over though?" "W-well… I may have come over to ask… you out on a… date.." "Really?"
 
 
She rejected him about a minute later.
 
 
-END-