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More scenes where girls from Dragon Quest get eaten by monsters!
The heroines are still stuck trying to find their way home. Will they make it home? Who's behind this whole ordeal in the first place?
This is Part 2. Part 1 is here: https://aryion.com/g4/view/703327
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Posted by MasterGryph 1 year ago Report
Well, this was enjoyable.
I figured that Red was the traitor shortly after there was said to be one. Not because she'd done anything suspicious, but because we hadn't gotten her perspective. (And because she wasn't actually a protagonist in the original DQ8.)
There were just a few sticking points I saw at the end. First, we don't see what happens to Sofia after Jade's offscreen rescue. Second, we don't see many reactions to the board's listing, though for some reason I'd assumed it would be visible to everyone. Third, it seemed a bit weird that Bianca would give up Saber so quickly...
Posted by skorpio 1 year ago Report
I'm glad you enjoyed the story!
Those are fair criticisms. On a re-read, the story feels rushed at the end and there are things left hanging or poorly explained that I should have explored more. If I did a rewrite of this, the things you mentioned are definitely things I would fix.