Posted by RogueKnight 2 years ago Report

Nicely done. The font is a little small for my liking, but that might be just because I decided to read this late into the night. You definitely make good use of narration via third-person narrative, sharing the thoughts Felicity goes through as events progress. I like how you meshed the text with the two images (which were nicely commissioned btw). I don't recall noticing any glaring issues that may come with a first draft, so editing might mostly come down to polish depending on what you'd like to do. I also like the playful banter between Jessica and Felicity.

Overall a solid piece of work. I enjoyed the read, keep up the good work.

Posted by Tobedumped 2 years ago Report

Thank you so much for your kind review! That artist is one of my favorites to work with lately and I hope to use art from them in some upcoming stories too. I think the downside to working in images is that it limits folks being able to set text size for themselves, so I might enlarge since "too big for some" is better than "too small for some." And thanks for noticing perspective because it was something I tried to keep consistent throughout-- we do get Felicity's thoughts but I think we only get actions implying other people's thoughts. I tend to drift into omniscient voice because I like including everyone's internal voices but I think I held myself to Felicity here.

Banter between pred friends in a casual vore world is probably in my top 5 favorite things to write, so I'm glad you enjoyed it. I like banter in general and having the predatory universe makes mundane moments feel more consequential, so it's easier to include them.

Thank you for reading and commenting!

Posted by PretentiousPudge 2 years ago Report

You're finally back! And I think this was a wonderful story to start with.

Posted by Tobedumped 2 years ago Report

Thank you! My plan is for this to be the first of several. I've been trying to fulfill my kink itches in a lot of different places but there's a lot that writing and sharing provides that other outlets don't.

I won't overpromise but there's documents open and work started for at least 4 stories right now.

Posted by VVVx 2 years ago Report

Welcome back!

Posted by Tobedumped 2 years ago Report

Thank you and thanks for the fave! I'm really getting a rush from seeing so many folks liking this story; hopefully it will keep me motivated to write some new shit.

Posted by kaledeen 2 years ago Report

I'm glad to see you writing again, your stories were some of my favorites.

Posted by Tobedumped 2 years ago Report

Thank you so much. I'm flattered by how many people have said so. I hope I've improved and that this round of stories will be even better. If not, some of them will at least have art, lul.

Posted by DjangoUnbrained 2 years ago Report

Very glad to see that you are back; loved this story

Posted by Tobedumped 2 years ago Report

Thank you! I have more cooking! It's a real rush for me to see people responding well to it :)

Posted by EwwwThrowItAway 2 years ago Report

I’m so surprised and glad to see a new TBD story that I’m literally writing my first comment with what was formerly an empty lurker account, lol.

Really, though: your style of writing just hits all the right notes for me. The way that vore isn’t the focal point of the story, until you get these casual references to it in everyday life. How each pred has a distinct ‘vore life’—and how it’s taboo to talk about in the wrong context (like in front of a new boyfriend) but also a regular part of life that you can tease your friends about. The just-as-casual references to unwilling prey or ‘butt murders’, but that vore is also sexualized to the point that you get the occasional willing prey. And most importantly: how all these characters actually feel like *people*, with lives beyond vore but vore is part of their lives.

No other writer on the portal has really been able to create that same feel for me. Welcome back!

Posted by Tobedumped 2 years ago Report

Thank you so much. I can't tell you how much it energizes me to know that you and others like the things about these stories that appeal to me the most; I love the feeling of places and people that feel "real" with the exception of absurd, awful vore kinks.

More work to come! Some of that will play on this same sort of scene of being dropped in on a girl's life and seeing how it ends up with performing gastric horrors on another person. Some of it will just be chaos in a world that has lost all sense of decency. It will be FEWER THAN 12 YEARS before I share another one, though!

Posted by disappearingtrick 2 years ago Report

Wonderful! Spectacular! Thank you so much for gifting this to the vore community!
I noticed your story Last Dance was not on my favourites list; an error I have now rectified (some of your characters get "rectified" don't they?)
The reason being that although I clearly recall reading and LOVING your stories about a decade ago, I have only been a registered user on Eka's for a paltry 4 years, while you yourself are what is known as OG.
The only feedback I might consider offering is more please! But when a sumptuous banquet of a story has been provided, to ask for more seems greedy to say the least.
Thanks again :-)

Posted by Tobedumped 2 years ago Report

Wow, thanks for the praise! There will be more coming soon and I'm making short story writing part of my routine again and hopefully rewarding myself with commissioned art to go with the stories will keep me motivated. But knowing that readers read and enjoyed them is great motivation too.

I have two WIPs that are nearing completion right now. Both are pretty casual and silly. I may consider something grittier after them, but right now I'm just reveling in the art of sharing depravity again.