This... was... terrible, I'm sorry I know it's one of your earliest works but, I can't believe this... monstrosity of a story was published by you based on how amazing you are now. I mean I know we all need to start somewhere but, HOLY CRAP.
Rose tinted goggles shattering aside time for constructive criticism... because I can't help myself.
The characters were paper thin, to the point that we... really aren't given a reason to care about any of the victims, or the predator, or even to believe that there's any lasting consequence of this.
Because let's be honest I sincerely doubt a girl scout who's eaten her entire troupe isn't going to get it from one of their parents most likely involving her death if one of their children is digested.
The fact that underage preds/prey are a very very iffy subject in and of itself is another point against it, because from the way girl scouts tend to be shown on this site, predator girl scouts are 'punished' by being eaten.
Oh, trust me, I agree that it's awful. But I believe in leaving the old, awful stuff up, just to remind me and others how far I've come! I still have a ways to go, though.
Glad to hear that you actually are willing to accept the criticisms there are far too many who wish to call an honest criticism an attempt at trolling.
Posted by Anonymous 19 years ago Report
That's so sad. ;_;
Posted by Onewingedangel 19 years ago Report
Wow, I would love to see more!
Posted by TW 12 years ago Report
I can't believe I had not read this before... Well done.
Posted by Camlio420 10 years ago Report
This... was... terrible, I'm sorry I know it's one of your earliest works but, I can't believe this... monstrosity of a story was published by you based on how amazing you are now. I mean I know we all need to start somewhere but, HOLY CRAP.
Rose tinted goggles shattering aside time for constructive criticism... because I can't help myself.
The characters were paper thin, to the point that we... really aren't given a reason to care about any of the victims, or the predator, or even to believe that there's any lasting consequence of this.
Because let's be honest I sincerely doubt a girl scout who's eaten her entire troupe isn't going to get it from one of their parents most likely involving her death if one of their children is digested.
The fact that underage preds/prey are a very very iffy subject in and of itself is another point against it, because from the way girl scouts tend to be shown on this site, predator girl scouts are 'punished' by being eaten.
Posted by KlinKitty 10 years ago Report
Oh, trust me, I agree that it's awful. But I believe in leaving the old, awful stuff up, just to remind me and others how far I've come! I still have a ways to go, though.
Posted by Camlio420 10 years ago Report
Glad to hear that you actually are willing to accept the criticisms there are far too many who wish to call an honest criticism an attempt at trolling.