Zelda’s Research Journal — Trip Day 5

At first, I was too embarrassed to write about this, but I realized that I made some scientific discoveries today worth sharing. My cake binge from the prior day had just about the results I expected… and feared. I woke up to having ballooned up by several hundred pounds. My body widened and rounded out considerably, to the point someone might have called me a butterball or maybe “The Royal Butter Roll”. Despite this unfortunate turn of events, I eventually resolved to make the best of it.

After all, in my plumped-up state, I could participate in the Bound Bowl Grand Prix. And I wasn’t alone either. Peach had similarly fattened up after yesterday's events. We found we could roll in a similar manner to the native Shiverians and were able to enter the Grand Prix. Rather awkwardly, we had to face off against the Shiverian Peach ate yesterday, and who was now jiggling on her body and also residing in her colon as well as racing against us. We did stop in the restroom before the race because she thought she needed to release him… but let’s just say that was an unproductive visit and resulted in some minor property damage.

We didn’t start off too well in the race, since we couldn’t propel ourselves the same way the Shiverians could. My nervousness about this caused some bubbling in my guts, and with what was left of the cake binge, I was able to take off with an explosive burst of… flatulence. Peach followed suit with a powerful burp. After the undignified start, the race itself was quite exhilarating. Our fattened frames allowed us to bounce just like the Shiverians!

I had been sure if this was possible, but perhaps our consumption of their cake… as well as one of them in Peach’s case, gave our fat cells the needed elasticity to bounce us across the course. We reached speeds that seemed almost impossible, and Peach even able to spin boost off her new rival Shiverian so that she and I came in first in the end. At first, our prize was another cake, but Peach donated that to her rival. Instead, we got what we really needed: two super flab burning treadmills.

A short run on those at the top speed literally burned away our extra weight in no time, returning us to the sizes we were at the start of this trip. I was quite relieved by these results. Fascinatingly, the fire generated by our burning fat cells doesn’t harm us at all and in fact feels quite pleasing. We did discover one should not pass gas or belch shortly after using the treadmills, since the gasses can and will ignite, creating projected plumes of flame. Our bodies were quite warm for a while after. The environment around us melted a bit because of the heat. We made a quick stop in the bathroom before returning to the Odyssey, ready to set sail for our next destination: Seaside Kingdom…

(Thumbnail: https://www.deviantart.com/slimeyjaystudio/art/Feast-of-the-Wild-Part-5-815091812)

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