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Tags: arson asset stealing asset theft begging prey Betrayal black hair blasphemy Bones bones in belly Bones in scat breast envy Breast Expansion brown skin butt envey Butt Expansion butt squish Cousin Pred Cousin Prey Cousin/Cousin Cruel Cruel Pred cruelty cuming pred Cunnlingus dark skin Digestion Disposal Disposal Scat Drool Easy Catch envy eyes rolling back F/F Farting Fat Fatal Female Pred Female Prey Gassy Pred Graphic digestion graphic disposal groping hair in scat Hijab Human Prey Humiliation Incestual Vore Jealous pred jealousy Long hair masturbating masturbating pred Masturbation Middle eastern Miss Zarha Moped Muslim prey Naked pred naked prey Older Prey Oral Vore Orgasm Original Character Praying Sadistic sadistic predator Scat shower showerhead Squeezing squirming belly Stomach Noises taunting teasing theft torture toying with prey Trophy trophy taking Underage pred vibrators Weight Gain Wet and Messy wet prey
Written as a request for my gloriously good-humoured Friend Bilwil, always there with a considered comment. I am more open to taking some requests and maybe even commissions. They had a 2000 word story on teenage Zarha, I regrettably was not able to deliver that and have gone considerably over budget. I’m sure he’s kindhearted enough to forgive me.
let this be a lesson to anyone that comments and suggestions get results!
In that well-meaning intent tell me what you think! Tell me that you liked it!
I also have another request do for a more experienced but still headstrong Zahra which I probably will not complete as quickly as this one.
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Posted by Trying124 2 years ago Report
Feel free to spoil things dear heart, I presume your comment is being directed to other people as I have in fact read Zaha's virginity ;-).
Posted by Randomdude5 2 years ago Report
I had forgotten that I had read your stories before. You did a good job of writing Zahra as a psycho.
Posted by Trying124 2 years ago Report
Then I hope you're reminder was pleasant and you enjoyed this one!
Posted by DarkCloset 2 years ago Report
I would love if you did a Cruel Serleena Pred story from MIB 2 with Laura (the light) as prey. Always looking forward to your work.
Posted by Trying124 2 years ago Report
interesting, I could certainly look into that. Feel free to PM me with more details. (I'm making no promises though)
Posted by DarkCloset 2 years ago Report
I may take you up on that.
Posted by bwill194 2 years ago Report
All I can say is you’re a very talented writer, who writes about very interesting characters, and I’m so glad that you did that raffle on your blog. You’re the best!!!
Posted by Trying124 2 years ago Report
I had a very good muse, I hope it satisfies your requirements and that you enjoy!
Posted by Carlis 2 years ago Report
I’m actually surprised; this has you really feeling the emotions and life style of her cousin, and the betrayal feels more like a shift away from exactly where you were, and more woah: turns out I let someone I thought and loved as family, who I watched grow up; how late I realized she’s nothing but a pure monster... This feels more like a psychological horror piece. It’s a betrayal.
It’s good. but it’s a departure from the norm. According to what I've read of your work, there's a lot more emphasis on the prey and betrayal.
Posted by Trying124 2 years ago Report
Thank youso much!
a lot of my work I try to use has some inspiration from psychological horror. It is very deliberately betrayal and Zahra in particular is a predator who gets off on the notion of betrayal and hurting people. As if in some way shape or form that demonstrates her superiority.
The one question I wanted to ask you is when you set the "departure from the norm" did you mean the norm for most other stories on here? or the norm from my stories? as I was worried that the betrayal and it wasn't hard and sharp enough for my usual.
Thank you as ever for your really interesting and detailed comment they keep me writing.
Posted by Carlis 2 years ago Report
It’s actually a sharper and darker betrayal. Immensely so, this piece and the last piece feel night and day different; I think the last piece you had someone proof read it, ya? I think this piece is better than the last piece because the villain came off as more of an unsophisticated brute. I think both are good work, but this piece is far superior. This piece shows a lot more thought in the characters actions, one far smarter than Meghan.
Did someone proofread this piece? Because this piece and the last feel extremely different from all your other works. I think you said Tyslan had proofread it. I think this piece will do far better than the last. There’s a lot more suspense and a well-thought-out approach in this piece. So I guess my question is, "Did someone proofread this piece?" I think you'll find yourself headed in a different direction. As compared to your past work
Posted by Trying124 2 years ago Report
The last one was Originally a snippet out of a larger story that got a little out of hand and was inspired by someone I was having conversations with.
Zarha, is certainly a character that I have a better handle on and I would certainly say she is smarter then Meghan, that's more deliberate and part of that is the meta knowledge that I assume people who have read my previous works will know who she is. So to bit more suspenseful.
Oddly enough this piece was written much much faster than the other one, and oddly had less reading although my proofreader was a different person. And that was mainly about flow as opposed to grammatical.
The intensity of the betrayal was deliberate, and I was aiming to try to make sure that Radebe Ahmadi, and who she was As a charactercame across well. Which is the reason it got more grossly inflated than Zahra, after Eating an entire fraternity.
but I will certainly congratulate my proofreader for their excellent work!
Posted by Carlis 2 years ago Report
No, I mean when I say your pieces and this character , there's specifically less focus on scat and farts. The dimensions feel different, not as sexual. More Brutal. Sorry if I wasn't clear. Yea, I was interested if this was Tyslan's proof reading. Thanks to your more recent stuff, it comes off as less carnal but more horror , shock value. Thanks.
Posted by dekabreak 2 years ago Report
This is just brutal, a good cruel pred story, also, i just love the trophy taking aspect, it just brings to home these are serial killers eating people for pleasure rather than an actual need.
Posted by Trying124 2 years ago Report
Well thanks you! ( will give a more deatiled responce when i am less unwell)
Posted by Trying124 2 years ago Report
I'm glad you think that it's brutal, that was the intention, it's only fun to Zahra if people are getting hurt. And in this one it's someone who had looked up to her soaked even better. I want to technically point out that at this point in her career she isn't a serial killer. (At this point) but that's certainly the vibe I was going for with the trophy taking. She certainly doesn't need to do any of this.