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A Semblance of Gluttony ~ Prologue By Egads -- Report

Uploaded: 1 year ago

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Me and  jyoster decided to do a RWBY RP that's tied to the main events of the series, basically a vorish take on how the series started. This is just the prologue, with the first chapter coming very soon~

Have a good read!

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Gepfu

Posted by Gepfu 1 year ago Report

Love Ruby’s big burps!

Goldendevil21

Posted by Goldendevil21 1 year ago Report

Thanks so much for the chapter.

First off, your grammar is excellent. Never once saw a misspelled word or poor sentence structure so you know how to write.

Also like Gepfu said, did love the burbs Ruby did. Really reinforcing that Ruby did in fact eat large meals.

I also love the weight gain when Ruby and Yang talk about how much Ruby is going to grow from her meal. A nice tease for the next chapter.

Also liked the little detail of Ruby having a bit of Yang's hair in her mouth after spitting her out. That is good. Feel like those little things help enrich the scene.

CommodoreNeil

Posted by CommodoreNeil 1 year ago Report

Okay, here's a fun drinking game. Starting from this prologue.

Have a shot every time Ruby winks.

...

Whaddya mean that's gonna kill somebody?????????

Anyway Ruby is a cutie