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If you're looking down here because you read the opening and said "Hey this sounds a little gross" just skip to the paragraph with a ">" at the start and you should be past that.
A piece I wrote and almost finished on paper some time ago, that I just transcribed to digital the other day and finished up. Something of a vore dystopia, where some preds have strange abilities, like messing up someone's genetics and memories then spitting them back out on the street. Following a nameless, starving beggar girl that chances upon a meal that turns her life around.
On an odd note, if you try to generate a thin and bony beggar girl with an AI, it's important to specify that she's wearing clothes or the AI might just mark all your results as NSFW. Not that all generators care about that though. Actually, don't specify bony either, cause some of the results that got were a bit terrifying.
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Posted by Randomdude5 1 year ago Report
The pov character is kinda lucky to not have refeeding syndrome. Producing enough acids to digest someone would probably be hard on a starving pred too.
This is an interesting crazy setting. Is it a unique one, or is it in the same world as any of your other stories? I assume that there is plenty of other interesting things happening in Vore City. I like the idea of more stories.
You did a good job of portraying the MILF as a Karen. Having her fall out of the window while yelling, was creative, made sense, and worked for the plot of having her eaten. That was an excellent idea. It was also a good idea for the beggar girl not to try to catch the Karen MILF in her mouth, since the momentum of the fall would have hurt her more than the MILF. Catching a falling prey is something for powerful preds to do. It normally works best in a macro/micro setting.
Anyways, good story. It made me think, even tho it didn't arouse me. I am curious as to what else you will write.
Posted by PaperWriter 1 year ago Report
The thought about if a starving person could handle a meal like this did cross my mind... then I reminded myself I write about people that can swallow other people whole. I just figured digestion was a pretty slow thing this round, working down a bit of the meal, processing it to recover enough to digest more, repeat.
I don't honestly know that I've ever imagined my stories occurring in the same world as one another, except maybe Thomas and Tina's stories, and I didn't think of that while writing, only after your comment on Thomas' story. Vore city was imagined as a more futuristic, dystopian setting, a walled city with a constant supply of prey; though the original writing had the prey coming from a high birth rate, rewriting it I was torn between that or having prey arrive from an unknown "outside," thus the pamphlet introducing people to the city.
I do like the idea of following up on more of this pred's adventures, the idea of a chronically skinny pred in a world where skilled preds are usually highly identifiable by their fat sounded fun to write more of.
Glad you liked the milf's scene! On paper, I'd actually skipped from the phone call to the pred resting on their couch and digesting, so I had to finish out the how and why the mom ended up eaten despite being older, larger, and much less willing. The falling prey moment I almost had her open her mouth and catch her, then I went through the thought process she did of realizing she'd just get flattened, and suddenly the story got a lot more realism in it.
Thanks for the review, as always! I love reading them!
Posted by Randomdude5 1 year ago Report
I enjoy writing these reviews, and I can't really write stories, although I have RPed a bit. I get worn out when I RP, but writing my thoughts about other's stories can be energizing sometimes.
I can't promise to review all your stories, but I will try to write more of these.