Chapter 12
After learning to tie a tie I started work and the influx of money gave me so much more freedom to do what ever I wanted in my free time
out in the city. Going from never working before to working 8 hour shifts was an insanely rough transition but I felt some force helping me, I thought it was God at the time but looking back now, knowing what I know, I don't think that's what it was. At some point I was getting more money than I knew what to do with with the airport still being an available place to sleep. Not enough for an apartment AND food, not with apartment prices in new rok, even Queens, but enough so I had extra every month that I ddidn't spend on fancy resteraunt food and some travel just outside of the city to go to resteraunts I had grown "up" eating at. Like a Golden Corral just outside of New York, and further away, a Fazolis just inside the border of Conneticut. The airport started kicking people without tickets out at night some times, but they let me sleep there during the day. The nights when I wasn't working (I was working the night shift) I had really negative songs show up on the channel ciderparty via syncronicity when I was walking outside at night in the summer just wandering aimlessly, eventually I felt scared with a coworker at the store at night when the worker a teir above him in the pecking order had left (Hassan) and it was just me and Ali. I got the feeling that my life was in danger around him, and every night the feeling increased. Until syncronicty showed me Garfielded complete on the channel lumpy touch. At that point I made an excuse to a worker in a poision just below the manager during the morning shift rotation, took the money I had saved, around 2000$ and spent it on greyhound and amtrak rides all across the country after throwing a garbage bag onto the subway tracks somewhere in queens out of anger. Some creepypasta my little pony fanfic readings were showing up on youtube. I felt compelled to lisen to them more because they felt "true" as opposed to me actally enjoying them. I still listened to positive music whenever I could though. I found myself really liking the channel ponies at dawn.
I watched Jordan Petersons "don't be harmless" video, I felt like I'd been harmless my whole life, so in new york again, near jfk airport, I saw an unlocked van with the keys in the ignition and on and was just like, everything has been taken from me, fuck it, it's time I take something for ME once. ... I was caught within the next day passing a toll booth out of state. I was actually going to buy a gun somewhere and kill david strumpf. But instead, I got arrested, quickly released and had a court apperence in Newyork. I asked for my job back at 7 eleven. The manager let me back on, Ali had been fired and it was me and a guy who I'd sometimes seen around called George. He didn't speak much english but he was an alright guy. It was 2019 at this point and I started investing the extra around 300$ I had every month into seb111114s patreon. He had been slowing down on vore works and when I started giving him 300 a month, he went back to uploading a new video almost every month. I masturbated in bathroom stalls, again, no hands, fully clothed. Then a new worker showed up as my coworker for the nightshift, Hasan, not Hasann. This guy was a real piece of work and made me double down on my research on narcissism since he was abusing me at work, but unlike david and simona, while fighting underhandedly psychologically he was like a living Rubicante from final fantasy 4, before shifts he'd sometimes show genuine interest respect, compassion, and then go right back to back talking me indirectly again. Calling a machine a piece of shit, when in actuality he and I both knew he was talking about me, so on and so forth. Eventually I took the knowledge I learned from research on narcissists and robert greenes books, to get him fired because I had it with his treatment of me. When I did though, it left a gap that the manager never filled, they reduced my hours and when I was working there I was competely alone during the nightshift, better to be alone than in bad company though, except as I know right now, throughout my life there have been very few times if ever where I was ever REALLY alone.