'Twas the night before Christmas, you've heard of this rhyme,
But bear with me now for just one other time.
The twist here is one that you'll love or you'll hate,
I'll tell you the story of how Toon Link got ate.

Our story is set in the House known as Smash
Where battles For Fun and For Glory have passed
The parties were over, it was now time for bed
but dear princess Zelda did something instead

She snuck down down the stairs in nothing but silk
and proceeded to gobble the cookies and milk
But lo - 'twas not unguarded, no not at all
The hero Link stood there, but 3 inches tall

What was he doing? Why, protecting the treat -
those cookies and milk were for Santa to eat.
He scared off some rodents, and one large red cat,
but the princess here was a bit smarter than that.

Now normally, dear Zelda is never this cruel,
but drinks were strong and plenty this yule.
She held him and teased him because of his size,
and swallowed on down all the sweet sugar prize.

As night went on, the intoxication took hold,
mild Princess Zelda began to grow bold.
"Oh, those cookies were Santa's? You want them all back?
I'll send you down to them, my small Christmas snack!"

With one fluid motion, before he could think
she snatched up our hero and gobbled down Link
Into her mouth, down her throat to her tummy,
She chuckled aloud "Merry Christmas, ya dummy"

She rubbed her potbelly, and gave it a pat
"I've never tasted anything ever like that."
She giggled and chortled and laughed 'till she cried
as the cookies and Link bounced around all inside.

The night drew to a close, she fell victim to sleep
And the rest of the evening they stirred not a peep.
The story is strange, but this I impart -
Deep in the tum just means close to the heart.


Merry Christmas, Happy (significantly belated) Hanukkah, and best of wishes for the New Year.
Catch you guys on the flipside for more of this type of general nonsense. You know, whenever.

Song : "Princess Zelda - The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time" by SiIvaGunner
https://youtu.be/2pLxKpFI--w?si=3n5-Q3cwlw_AWqtR
("Snowman" from Mother 3 by Shogo Sakai done with the OoT soundfont)

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