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This is the second part of An Idol's End, an +18 NSFW Vore Story based around Genshin Impact. This is where the vore and the peril is located c:
I hope I managed to nail down Paimon and Barbara's mannerisms.
As mentioned before, English isn't my first language, so if you spot any typos or incorrect use of grammar, let me know!
I want to improve as a writer, so if you have any feedback, please, let me know!
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Posted by aserejejej 1 year ago Report
Well, I am pretty satisfied with the result. I feel like I’ve been improving on describing clothing in general. However, Genshin Impact characters feel a bit overdesigned, even if Summertime Sparkle is much simpler than the rest, it was still a challenge and I feel that I did well.
I had two ideas for the ending. One of them was “Barbara?” ending where it would go like, Lumine finds Barbara in the middle of the night, but she knows, by pure instinct, that something is wrong and that it's not her. Every single instinct she has screams of dangers and the story would end up with ""Barbara"" running towards Lumine while she summons her sword.
It was far too balls to the walls bizarre so I didn’t use it.
The other ending or well, epilogue would have been of purely dialogue between Venti/Barbatos and Barbara (Referencing Venti’s Story Quest with Stanley) but only Barbara’s lines would be readable.
Quite short, but far too depresso for my expresso.
Like, even more so that the rest of the story imo my opinion.
I am so happy and proud that I only wrote the swear word FUCKING once in this entire story :3
There are a few references. See if you can spot them! (One of them is a reference to a DeeGen picture.)
I hope I can continue to improve on writing stuff! If you have any feedback, I’d like to hear it.
And most important of all, thank you for reading up to this point! I hope you have a good day :DD
Posted by CheyCafe 1 year ago Report
I read this on dA a lil bit ago and thought it was incredible! Even if Barbara isn't my first choice of prey, your wonderful storytelling and descriptive writing still made it a thoroughly enjoyable read and I don't say that lightly. Call it shallow, but I have a hard time enjoying a story if I am not super into the prey choice. So I do really mean it as a high compliment to your skills that I found myself so engaged! I look forward to more! <3
Posted by aserejejej 1 year ago Report
I am so happy that you liked it so much! Thank you :D