A new friend?
It was in a dark, rainy night, thunder and lightning were the harbinger of an thunderous storm. Deep into the wood, there was a young man. His heart beating fastly, his eyes were looking nervously arround ans he searched desperatly after some good place to hide. Raining, more than only some tears from heaven the ground turned to mud, got slippery and with every thunder he winced at fear.
A flash enlightend the sky and he just saw the silhouettes of some real big.. not more
Uploaded: 17 years ago
Owner: Veridicus
Tags: Naga
The first part of a story about a litte character, who has a special gift/curse, who knows. ^-^
Like the first story, it have diffrent kind of mistakes, feel free to write me al of them. Actually I have a little time these days and will edit mistakes in the first added story.. haven't any time for that before, sorry.
Zoekin - 17 years ago
I can't wait for the next part. I liked this a lot!
Anonymous - 17 years ago
Attached is a copy of your story that I proofread for you, it might help you improve the story. Also, try buying a copy of Microsoft word with an English spell checker, the copy that I pasted into my Microsoft Word program said that the spell checker was using German instead of English. A new friend? It was in a dark, rainy night, thunder and lightning were the harbingers of a thunderous storm. Deep into the woods, there was a young man. His heart beating fast, his eyes were looking nervously around as he searched desperately for some good place to hide. Raining, more than only some tears from heaven the ground turned to mud, got slippery and with every thunderclap, he winced in fear. A flash enlightened the sky, and he just saw the silhouette of something really big.. not more than a shadow but.. it followed him during the last time. Panicking, he started to run, but his left foot slid over a wet stone, and with a suffocating cry, he had fallen whole into the mud. On both arms and legs he crawled away, to get to a secure place where the shadows could not catch him. After some meters, he managed to get up and started running through the woods again, crossing trees and bushes
rjw14 - 17 years ago
It's pretty cute :o sorry for the delays dude, but I got examns and stuff ;-;
Stupidness COULD hurt.
Ahh, live could be full of joy and pleasure, it needs only so less, to feel great. The flavor... the taste... just only one amazing, marvelous and phantasmagorial cigarett could give you a sense of heaven. How I have missed you, how I have craved you, my dear little piece of joy. Your burning will be my recall to life. The only thing I do need now is... RAIN?
What the..
“Anna! Anna! Wake up, you lazy sod.” Crisis giggles and spray water from the near
Uploaded: 18 years ago
Owner: Veridicus
Tags: Non-Vore
My first story in english. I'm sorry for every bad mistake, still I asked for help to correct it but everyone could feel free to show me my mistakes.
This story is about Anna and Crisis but here is Anna the protagonist. ^-^
Zoekin - 17 years ago
I liked this story a lot! It's always great to see more of Anna. She's one of my favourite Naga. Very well done! Thanks for sharing.
Anonymous - 18 years ago
blah, I'll email it to you, since I see the board didn't even got two thirds of my post o.O email please? ^^;;; edit: I just write here, not to make to much comments. Can you write me a PM? It would be easier than talk in the commentarea.
Anonymous - 18 years ago
kay, here's the list with my corrections then n.n got a minute? I'll do this over several days, why will become clear as you see the length of this post XDDDD first line: live -> life, less should be little and remove the comma after little, cigaret is with 1 t last time I checked "Crisis giggles and sprays water from the nearby river on anna" next line, have should be has, no comma for to find, "wherever anna tries to hide", possibilities (no y), peacEfull, for her self. You figure the point out that you destroyed my WONDERFUL dream? <- no english, better english, and what I think you're trying to say: "You do understand that you ruined my WONDERFULL dream?" next: move should be moved, "just so that you can find me" would be better. "Anna try all to throw an angry look on Crisis "<- "Anna tries to throw Crisis an angry look, but...." "is ignoring..." also, it might be wise to replace she by Crisis "Crisis waits [with added s] some seconds before turning around and starts to go, off course thinking that Anna would follow her" she just want only ONE cigarette. <- "all she wants is just ONE cigaret" "Her mood moves to an angry state as she just has to think about the little TV Crisis has eaten last time." [I personally would rephrase this though] "Anna moves away to avoid Crisis. Whatever she will have found, it doesn
Karbo - 18 years ago
I loved it a lot ! You did a great job on capturing Anna and Crisis's character. Dumb human.. he quite asked for it XD Thank you a lot for writting this ! ;)
Eidolon - 18 years ago
...'M very sorry about kinda dropping the ball on this. u.u
Tyrix - 16 years ago
Aww! that was amazingly cute hehe. well done