Author Type: Gallery User
Registered Since: 15 years ago
Last Seen: Jul 19th, 2012
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Sigh... This is mainly to the people watching me. Sorry i haven't uploaded anything in a while, i've been trying to raise money for a new scanner. Once I get that i'll be uploading as soon as I can, Promise~
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Posted by LoveLeavs 14 years ago Report
A new priest at his frist mass was so nervous he could hardlyspeak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. Themonsignor replied: "When I am worried about getting nervous on thepulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I startto get nervous, I take a sip."So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginningof the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded totalk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass he found thefollowing note on his door:
Posted by LoveLeavs 14 years ago Report
plz dont be offended ////// 1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.2. There are ten commandments, not 12.3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not refered to as Daddy,Junior and Spook.8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his ass.10. We do not refer to the cross as Big T11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Takethis and eat it, for it is my body," he did not say, "Eatme!"12. The Virgin Mary is not refered to as the "Mary with theCherry."13. The reccommended grace before a meal is not, "Rub-A Dub-Dub,Thanks for the grub, Yeah God."14. Next Sunday, there will be a taffy pulling contest at St.Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
