Soka's Eskimo Pie
By Misterebony
 
 
It was mid summer at the Midville Zoo, and poor Soka was being tortured again. The big, furry, seemingly cuddly polar bear cub was stuuck having to watch as tasty morsels glared at her and her mom as they sat in their chilled habitat, munching on fish. FISH!
 
Why would she want fish when she was seeing something far tastier than that, and licking on something that dripped all over them!
 
"mom, it isn't fair!" Soka said, cuddling up to her. Of course, only her mom could understand her, not the tasty bipeds.
 
"What isn't dear?" The mother said, swallowing a whole trout.
 
"All those yummy people! The kids especially. Why can't we eat them?" Soka said, licking her chops as a little boy waved to her, teasing her she was certain. Her mother laughed.
 
"Human stupidity dear. They think of us as cute and cuddly." As if to prove her point, a lkittle girl walks by, holding a plush that looks like Soka, hugging it lovingly. Soka giggled some.
 
"Yeah, I see what you mean. No wonder we have to eat them up north."
 
"Oh it gets worse!" The mother said, pointing to a kid eating a chocolate covered ice cream bar. "See what he is eating? Humans call those those eskimo pies!"
 
Soka blinked. "But mom... they don't even look like pies!"
 
"I KNOW dear!" The mother said with a laugh. "But humans are weird that way. It is because they have ice cream, and they think it comes from up north."
 
Soka laughed. "So... what IS an eskimo pie mom?"
 
The mother smiled. "A secret recipe we made years ago when we started raiding human towns. Very yummy too. When winter comes, Perhaps I'll make one for you."
 
Soka smiled some, then eeped as a kid tossed in her plushie. Soka looked up at the girl, who smiled lovingly at SOka. Ah well, better humor her, she thought as she hugged the plush.
 
EVERYONE looking awwed at the sight.
 
*********************
 
Summer changed to autumn, autumn to winter, and the zoo closed for the season to allow the hibernating animals to sleep. Only occasional caretakers and kids doing dares would enter the zoo. The owners, however, had a secret. They would sometimes let Soka and her mom out to view the other habitats, since they were so well behaved. Soka loved these times, as the owner was about the only human she valued as a friend. Mainly because he could talk to them.
 
 And when he heard about the promise Soka's mom made, he laughed.
 
"An Eskimo Pie huh?" He said, stroking Soka. "Well, I could think of a few... eskimos... that SHOULD be in pie."
 
"What does it taste like?" Soka asked. The kepper laughed.
 
"Soka, I am not a cannibal, so I don't know!" He said, giving her a hug. "But if any eskimos sneak in here... I'll send them to your mom."
 
"PROMISE?!" Soka asked excitedly. The kepper nodded. "Thank you thank you thank you!" She said, giving a big hug. The keeper hugged back and shooed her away. But as it turned out, she did not have to wait long. FOr that very night, a little girl snucki into the zoo specifically to tease the animals. She wore a thick coat made of wolf fur, and leather pants.
 
Yes, she hated animals except as clothing. And when she saw the keeper, she was directed to, as he said, the ultimate chance for a polar bear coat.
 
She looked into the cage and giggled. "Huh, that cub would just fit me." She said, imaginging herslef wearing Soka as a bearskin coat. Her words, however, woke Soka up.
 
"Huh?" She said, looking up. This suprised the girl, who could also understandf animals.
 
"hey, you talked!" She said, looking at Soka. "Well, no matter, I'll have my daddy buiy you anyway for a coat."
 
Soka went wide eyed. "Wow! An eskimo!" She said, licking her lips. The little girl gigglerd and played along.
 
"Yup! I am an eskimo, a mater humter of the north." She said. "See my lovely furs?"
 
Soka dfid not care for the furs. The girl was nice and pretty and looked very tasty. She licked her lips before calling to her mom. The girl just laughed.
 
"Oh, what is she going to do? I'll just come back later and buy you for a coat!"
 
The mother just chuckled and walked to the door of the habitat. with no effort, she pushed it open, since it was left unlocked. The girl went wide eyed and was frozen in suprise for a moment. A BIG mistake, as the bear pounced her soon after.
 
She didn't even get time to scream before she was knocked out by a heavy paw.
 
****************************
 
When the girl awoke, she was in a cave of some sort. Something sweet filled her nose, and she tried to look and see what it was. but she could not move! Her hands and feet were bound up, and she was laying on something VERY soft.
 
Over her, wearing a chef's hat, throwing her coats and clothes into a bin, was Soka's mom. Soka herself was licking the girl's foot, making her laugh. But this was no laughing matter. For the girl was actually in a big pie pan, the main ingredient for a Eskimo Pie.
 
"Now Soka, pay attention." He rmom said, pouring caramel over the girl. "We need to make her sweet since she is so sour. Most eskimo's are a little sour, so we add some caramel and brown sugar."
 
Soka licked her lips. "Do we add honey too, like other bears?" She asked. Her mom shook her head.
 
"No dear. We need to add fruit. Fresh berries. A joy to our pallets thanks to the pantries we raided in the north." At this point, the girl went wide eyed, realizing what was happening.
 
"WAIT! You don't mean..."
 
The mother smiled. "I'm making Eskimo Pie dear. and you are the eskimo." She poured in fresh berries, a gift from the keeper. The girl began to wriggle in her bindings, but the ropes and caramel, as well as the weight of the pie filling, had her stuck fast. Soka smiled some.
 
"You'll be so yummy!" She said, licking her lips, the mother beginning to roll out the thick pie top. The girl tried to think fast.
 
"But... don't eskimo pies use ice cream and chocolate?" Ok, maybe not THAT fast.
 
"Silly human!" The mother said. "That's just a Klondike bar."
 
"But it was called an Eskimo Pie first!" The girl said. The bear chuckled.
 
"Like I said, silly. A true eskimo pie uses real eskimos."
 
"But I am..."
 
"An Eskimo? You said you were yourself, and you sure looke dlike one in those pelts!" SOka nodded in agreement with her mom. The girl whimered and tried to say more, but an aple was shoved in her mouth, the top of the pie rolling over her. It was far too thick to ever escape even if the girl was unbound, so she was effectively trapped. Soka laughed happily, anticipating the pie.
 
"Ok dear, time to bake this pie!" The mother said, shoving the pie into the oven. Now Soka had to wait.
 
But it was worth it in the end, as, a couple hours later, she was dining on a nice bifg Eskimo Pie. She cut big slices of the fruit, caramel, and eskimo filled pastry, chewing it slowly. Her mom, of course, decided not to have any. She promised it all to her daughter ater all.
 
"MMMMMMMMMM!!!!" Soka said. "Oh momn, this is so tasty! You were right, Eskimo Pie is the best!"
 
The mother smiled. "Only the best for my little girl." She said, watching as she chomped the pie all up.
 
When it was over, the only sign of the pie was the messy face on the plump, chubby Soka, so round now she couldn't do more than waddle after such a big tasty pie. The girl's clothes were tossed into the bin, and no one ever knew what became of her. As for Soka, that would be just the first of several human-filled dainties she would eat.
 
But that is another story.
 
THE END.