Well, that was certainly a strange trip into a mix of classic 1960's style evil villainy and the Twilight Zone. A bit nonsensical too, but that's pretty normal when you start to get into anything with mad scientists.
Although the story did read well enough and didn't get hung up trying to focus on too much sex or vore, it really felt like nearly the entire thing was all tell and no show when it came to the writing. There were a number of pieces of narration that began with "then" or some variant thereof, and it made the story seem like more of a draft or outline before being fleshed out rather than a full fledged story to me. This happened, then that happened; that kind of thing.
Still, the overall plot wasn't too bad, and I am curious to find out what happened to Sam and Emily. Something tells me that they've both got an interesting bit of adventure ahead of them.
Funny thing is, I've never really watched the Twilight Zone before and am not to familiar with the 1960's style of villainy your talking about XD but this is only the beginning >:D (evil laughter in the background)
To tell you the truth, I try to focus more on the 'story' instead of just making the whole thing about vore because reading about how one hundred people get eaten the very same way over and over and over and over again isn't what I would find entertaining in a story :/
Sadly I could not read it after downloading it. I had to copy-and-paste the story instead since my computer doesn't have Microsoft Office. Maybe you could try using something like WordPad since not everyone can use Microsoft Office (which is what your story is meant for apparently). Otherwise some people would have to spend a long time removing the extra spaces. WordPad seems to add alot of spaces to any story made for Microsoft Office. As for the story itself... not bad
technically, it is saved as a .doc so you should be able to upload it in any word document or Open Office (which is free I believe, I have not paid to use it yet). I do apologize for the trouble you are having, but I don't use Microsoft Word for this, I just save it in that format so that I can take my stories with me as I please on a usb storage device and type where I please :)
No worries. It might just be on the Aryion site's end. Thankfully I can just copy-and-paste from the preview screen. So it's not a major issue. The story itself is still pretty good though. I wish my stories on FurAffinity was this good.
Oh please... don't get me started on all the mistakes I make with my stories xD
Besides, when I make a 'story', I focus on the story. If Vore just so happens to be part of the story then that is what happens :) but I don't just force sex and vore into every paragraph because that tends to make your story boring and repetitive after so many :/ I also try to make my characters out to be 'living-creatures' that have emotions and can go through several stages of change, with little bits of fun mixed in for good measure :)
Posted by Mid_Night 12 years ago Report
That one Mad scientist indeed I wonder what will happen from now?
Posted by Firstfate 12 years ago Report
put simply... a lot happens >.>
Posted by Rhysion 12 years ago Report
Well, that was certainly a strange trip into a mix of classic 1960's style evil villainy and the Twilight Zone. A bit nonsensical too, but that's pretty normal when you start to get into anything with mad scientists.
Although the story did read well enough and didn't get hung up trying to focus on too much sex or vore, it really felt like nearly the entire thing was all tell and no show when it came to the writing. There were a number of pieces of narration that began with "then" or some variant thereof, and it made the story seem like more of a draft or outline before being fleshed out rather than a full fledged story to me. This happened, then that happened; that kind of thing.
Still, the overall plot wasn't too bad, and I am curious to find out what happened to Sam and Emily. Something tells me that they've both got an interesting bit of adventure ahead of them.
Posted by Firstfate 12 years ago Report
Funny thing is, I've never really watched the Twilight Zone before and am not to familiar with the 1960's style of villainy your talking about XD but this is only the beginning >:D (evil laughter in the background)
To tell you the truth, I try to focus more on the 'story' instead of just making the whole thing about vore because reading about how one hundred people get eaten the very same way over and over and over and over again isn't what I would find entertaining in a story :/
Posted by DraycosDragon 7 years ago Report
Sadly I could not read it after downloading it. I had to copy-and-paste the story instead since my computer doesn't have Microsoft Office. Maybe you could try using something like WordPad since not everyone can use Microsoft Office (which is what your story is meant for apparently). Otherwise some people would have to spend a long time removing the extra spaces. WordPad seems to add alot of spaces to any story made for Microsoft Office. As for the story itself... not bad
Posted by Firstfate 7 years ago Report
technically, it is saved as a .doc so you should be able to upload it in any word document or Open Office (which is free I believe, I have not paid to use it yet). I do apologize for the trouble you are having, but I don't use Microsoft Word for this, I just save it in that format so that I can take my stories with me as I please on a usb storage device and type where I please :)
Posted by DraycosDragon 7 years ago Report
No worries. It might just be on the Aryion site's end. Thankfully I can just copy-and-paste from the preview screen. So it's not a major issue. The story itself is still pretty good though. I wish my stories on FurAffinity was this good.
Posted by Firstfate 7 years ago Report
Oh please... don't get me started on all the mistakes I make with my stories xD
Besides, when I make a 'story', I focus on the story. If Vore just so happens to be part of the story then that is what happens :) but I don't just force sex and vore into every paragraph because that tends to make your story boring and repetitive after so many :/ I also try to make my characters out to be 'living-creatures' that have emotions and can go through several stages of change, with little bits of fun mixed in for good measure :)