Uploaded: 11 years ago
Views: 5,081
File size: 37.50 KiB
MIME Type: application/msword
Comments: 12
Favorites: 61
A revamped and far superior version to the story of the same name in my gallery.
A young couple go shopping for gifts for one another, the boyfriend finds more than he expects as does the girlfriend by the end. Some staff are just far too helpful...
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Posted by Svartvinge 11 years ago Report
Quite nice story, with a nice buildup and end ^^ some minor spelling faults in the end, but you still manage to keep it good~
Posted by Entity 11 years ago Report
I think i'm just known for spelling mistakes XD
Posted by Demihunger 11 years ago Report
liked it more than the first time. :P
Posted by Entity 11 years ago Report
Excellent, mission accomplished XD
Posted by joeburp22181 11 years ago Report
Not bad man!
Posted by Entity 11 years ago Report
Thanks :)
Posted by Bright 11 years ago Report
I am not sure what you are trying to say in teh last sentence.
I remember the original story and I think this has some very better descriptions in it.
Posted by Entity 11 years ago Report
The last sentence is about the bra, i thought it read ok, does it need changing?
Posted by Bright 11 years ago Report
It seems like you are missing some words in there.
Posted by Entity 11 years ago Report
Hmm, i'll have to keep that in mind. when i get a chance i'll change it.
Posted by TW 10 years ago Report
Nice revamp. Well done.
Posted by Entity 10 years ago Report
thanks :)